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My DIL the Drama Queen!

Started by Soft Hearted, April 10, 2012, 10:02:28 PM

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forever spring

Quote from: pam1 on May 10, 2012, 07:21:28 AM
I have friends, kept friends from childhood and I was told that to be a part of their family I should cancel my plans with my friends for even minor family events, no matter what.  It didn't matter if I was told last minute (see the key word, told...not invite) I should cancel on my friend to go with the family.  I said I thought that would be rude to my friends and if my presence was important than I would gladly go with enough notice or if it didn't conflict with any prior plans.  I was then told putting family first was probably personal growth I needed to work on LOL.

This is exactly what happened to me when I was living close. The moment DIL knew that I was doing something else, she would txt to say she needed urgent help. There is a lot of bullying going on in relationships such as these ones.
One example of many: I had invited a friend for lunch one day but had to change the day from Tuesday to Wednesday.  Wednesday was the day DIL had to go to GS's playschool for a little party and wanted to leave the baby with me. All hell was let loose when I couldn't babysit because of the change of date with my friend. In my view, it wasn't even an important appointment for DIL. She could easily take the baby with her to playschool and give older GS the opportunity to show off the little brother. But because I wasn't available, I was made to feel really bad. I did feel the weirdo in this scenario.
Mind you, I did enjoy the lunch, cooked up a storm and chatted and chatted with my old friend. The questions remains, with a little bit of loving and understanding, the whole thing need not have been an issue at all. I didn't let her down for a really important appointment, did I?
Like you I have a lot of friends and extended family. Fortunately I could leave that situation but I hate to think what could have happened if I had been dependent on them in one way or another. Nightmare!

DILs on this site what do you think? Did I let her down in your opinion?

pam1

I think it depends.  Did you agree to babysit before the reschedule with your friend?  If so, then yes I can understand DILs annoyance.  It's one of the biggest issues I have with my in laws, canceling plans. 

On the other hand, I know what you mean about the reason for babysitting not being very important.  I'm not sure what it is but my SILs ask for babysitting for things like this too and I'm always a tad confused.  Their husbands don't help much at home and they seem to think that the women in the family should help pick up their husbands slack.  Instead of getting an appointment for their hair when their husband is home, they will schedule while he is at work and then call frantically around for a babysitter.  Or they will want to go to the preschool or school for lunch to spend one on one time with one child yet they don't do it at home when their husbands are available.  It's pretty annoying, I have not experienced people needing babysitters so much and then they think they are doing me a favor.  "you get to spend more time with little one!!" 
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

elsieshaye

Quote from: forever spring on May 08, 2012, 10:42:27 PM
Nothing weirder than folks

Haha, this is soooo true!  I need to cross-stitch that on something.
This too shall pass.  All is well.