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Interesting Comment from a High School Friend

Started by 2chickiebaby, April 07, 2010, 04:44:49 am

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0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

Postscript

I grew up with the whole respect your elders concept as well, but my father also taught me that I should treat people the way I want to be treated.  As a general rule, I do that but as you go through life you discover that not everyone is deserving of your respect.

I love my son, but I have promised myself that I will never treat any girl he brings home to us like the enemy.  That was how I was treated. 


2chickiebaby

Quote from: Postscript on April 08, 2010, 04:58:36 pm
I grew up with the whole respect your elders concept as well, but my father also taught me that I should treat people the way I want to be treated.  As a general rule, I do that but as you go through life you discover that not everyone is deserving of your respect.

I love my son, but I have promised myself that I will never treat any girl he brings home to us like the enemy.  That was how I was treated.


It's great that you learned that lesson...it will help you with his girlfriend/wife so much.  If she is not nice to you,
Postscript, it will break your heart but you will not have anywhere to take your hurt.  You won't be able to talk to him
because he will be defensive. You won't be able to speak to her because she will be standing her ground.

I hope it works out for you and that you are the exception to the rule.  There are some out there but it is rare.  I never
dreamed in a hundred million years that it would happen to me. 

RedRose

Guest1,

Like Anna, I too have felt like leaving...but...I may take a break...but, as you can see, I always come  back.
Emotions just become so hard to overcome sometimes. There is so much hurt here....but, there is also a lot of healing.
I hope you stay.

2chickiebaby

Quote from: RedRose on April 10, 2010, 06:43:53 pm
Guest1,

Like Anna, I too have felt like leaving...but...I may take a break...but, as you can see, I always come  back.
Emotions just become so hard to overcome sometimes. There is so much hurt here....but, there is also a lot of healing.
I hope you stay.


Don't you dare leave, Rose!  I'll come and get you  ;D You were one of my first friends here.

RedRose

Noooo, I won't Chicky...I come here to see you...you know that.

I didn't want guest to leave.

2chickiebaby

Quote from: RedRose on April 10, 2010, 06:51:13 pm
Noooo, I won't Chicky...I come here to see you...you know that.

I didn't want guest to leave.


Love you, Rose... :)

RedRose


Barbie

Hi Rose,
You're absolutely right. I called myself "guest" because I didn't think I'd stick around for too long, I do take breaks but always come back because I've come to care about a lot of the women here and I start to miss them after a couple of weeks.
By the way, I've been thinking about Renny and Mominwaiting and isitme, they haven't posted in a while. I miss them!

Hope

Quote from: Postscript on April 08, 2010, 04:58:36 pm
I grew up with the whole respect your elders concept as well, but my father also taught me that I should treat people the way I want to be treated.  As a general rule, I do that but as you go through life you discover that not everyone is deserving of your respect.

I love my son, but I have promised myself that I will never treat any girl he brings home to us like the enemy.  That was how I was treated.

Postscript, I like knowing that you want to treat your fdil in a loving way....and I hope she treats you in like. I can relate to you feeling like the enemy - that's exactly my feelings about the treatment we (me, dh, dd's) are receiving from my dil - I feel like she thinks we are the enemy.  And we are truly confused b/c we really try to be good to her and want to be her friend and her to be an important part of our family.  I have told her more than once that she is an important part of our family  My od does a lot of favors for her in a loving way, my dh and I help out when we are welcome, yd wants nothing more than to be her friend, but nothing we do is right.  I realize that our expectations are crossed and I'm afraid to talk to her about it because I just know she'll take it all wrong.  I know I'm a chicken, but my fear that it will only make matters worse is real.  Any way, I can relate to you feeling like the enemy.  It's not fun.
Hugs, Hope

Pen

I understand, too, Hope and FS. It's very similar to my story. We were so looking forward to expanding our family and traditions; we are interested in how others live, we accept differences in cultures/families/communities as enriching experiences, etc. etc. We are still surprised that we're seen as competitors or enemies...that's not at all how we feel, but I must say we're a little less innocent and "kumbaya" now, LOL.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Pen

Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Hope

QuoteI know how hard it is, Hope.  Bless your heart.  Hardest thing you never thought you'd ever deal with.  Stay strong, maybe time will make a difference.


Thanks, FS.  Being the parent of adult children is a real challenge.  It's hard when they distance themselves and you don't even know why.  This forum has really helped me to examine myself and to see the other perspectives.  Thanks PS and everyone.

QuoteI understand, too, Hope and FS. It's very similar to my story. We were so looking forward to expanding our family and traditions; we are interested in how others live, we accept differences in cultures/families/communities as enriching experiences, etc. etc. We are still surprised that we're seen as competitors or enemies...that's not at all how we feel, but I must say we're a little less innocent and "kumbaya" now, LOL.


Pen, what can I say but "their loss".  They are really missing out on some wonderful family traditions and genuine love.  It wouldn't feel good if it was percieved as forced and they don't want to do it.  I just had a thought!  I wonder if it would help if we asked our dil's for their input on what they would like our family traditions to be........and build new ones.  Just a thought.  Thanks for the hug - it really felt good.
Hugging you back, Hope