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Monitoring and Managing a Web-forum

Started by luise.volta, April 17, 2010, 07:05:35 pm

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April 17, 2010, 07:05:35 pm Last Edit: April 18, 2010, 07:46:28 am by luise.volta
This is for Everyone - What I strive for is a place to learn and grow. You have all read my vision statement at the top right of the Home Page. If it is idealistic, most goals are.

I don't want a Pollyanna site; controversy is healthy, but I also don't want a bashing, vicious site. Since I bear the cost of all of this...what I want matters.

After a year, I have come to the following conclusions:

We get into trouble when we generalize..."all DILs are like this and all MILs are like that."

We get into trouble when we identify..."you are just like my DIL/MIL." No one is.

We get into trouble when we go to other sites, carry tales and incite others.

We get into trouble when we are unilateral; that's why we are no longer strictly a MIL site. Anyone can wreck havoc in a family. Wise Women Unite is about support and resolution.

We get into trouble when we attack others with personal messaging and emails *if* we use them for gossiping or direct attack. There is no way I can monitor that, nor would I want to. None-the-less, serious damage has occurred there.

Drama is bound to occur and each of us is responsible regarding how far we let that go. Temper tantrums and hurt feelings are best processed off-site. We can express honestly without accusation or victimization. We can state a point of view without having to apologize because it is unique. The other person's reaction is theirs. Some speak of being afraid to speak up, being afraid of others, being afraid of me, being afraid of "The MILs" or "The "DILs." Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? If you are not comfortable here, why post?

There are no primadonnas here. There are no gurus. No one has all the answers and we all get to put in our 2 cents. It isn't a place where a power struggle is appropriate. We are vastly different...from many countries, backgrounds, careers, races, name it and we have it here. That's quite wonderful but it is also not a simple thing to monitor and manage.

That's my job...monitoring and managing. I am not going to explain or defend my actions. I have not taken "Web-Forum 101" and I am going to make mistakes. We all are and there is simply no solution except to do our best, each and every one of us.

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama