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watching doggy but no grandson....

Started by bettylou, April 17, 2010, 12:27:32 PM

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bettylou

Everytime my son and daughter in law go away they drop off her tea cup dog here for us to watch.  The dog eats only organic and can not have treats at all.  But it idoes love to use the bathroom all over the house and must never sleep in my daughter's room, she will be much too rough on the dog and hurt it and it is a pet not a toy for my kid.  I do enjoy the dog as naughty as it is.  It is very cute and I enjoy taking it for walks around my development.  Everyone loves to see the doggy all dressed up.  How can you dress a dog and strut it around then say, it is a pet not a toy?  I get it no one should be rough on the dog and no one is at my house.  My daughter has been lectured so many times about doggy that she could care less when it comes over.  It will sleep in the bed with me and we usually snuggle.  When they arrive to pick up doggy, I must have it all dressed and ready to go.  Daughter in law always shreaks at it, "let's go home and clean you up, you stink and need a good bath."  Excuse me?  I just did you a favor and now youre saying it stinks from being with us?  So rude, the last time I was asked I said no, I was tired of it, they never bring it any food or dishes.  Son said daughter in law would cancel trip to Mexico if she had to board the diva dog with strangers and said "please ma, for me, for me"  i relented ofcourse.  I am so dumb

Hope

Your dil's parents did her no favor to spoil her so.  I really feel bad for you! Your plight brings up a concern I have.  My ds/dil have two large dogs and when they have to be gone longer than usual, they leave them with dil's parents.  We have never been asked to watch them even though I love them and make sure dil/ds know it.  Anyway, one of my earliest thoughts about being a soon-to-be grandparent is the fear of not having much opportunity to babysit fgc.  However, it has occured to me that we may be promoted to dog sitters and dil's parents promoted to gc sitter.  Any suggestions on how to handle that situation if it comes to fruition?  I'd like to respond in a non-offensive way without allowing myself to be a doormat.  As much as I love the dogs, I would be very hurt to see my gc go to the "primary" gp's and the dogs go to the "other" gp's - US. 
Thanks.  Hope

Onlooker

Yep, you don't owe them this favor. Especially given the current state of the relationship, it makes no sense. I'd suggest that pleasantly, politely, cheerfully, and as soon as possible so that they can make other plans, you tell your son that you will no longer care for the dog. And then dig your heels in and (still politely and cheerfully) decline any begging.

And don't make finding an alternative caregiver your problem. It's their problem.

Onlooker

Hope

Thanks, Onlooker.  I appreciate your suggestions.  I think I'll have to wait till/if we are ever asked to watch the dogs, since it has never happened.  It will be a delicate situation if we are, but I think you are correct to firmly but politely let them know that we will not be dog sitters.  I am not very good at that, though.  I always end up saying something that is taken differently than intended when it comes to touchy topics.  I appreciate your support.
Hugs, Hope

luise.volta

Oh, I'd better keep my mouth shut and my my fingers idle regarding spoiled little, bad-acting pups. Ours is pictured by my name, in Val's arms. He is a real pill! In our defense, I must add that we never ask anyone to (baby) sit.

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Postscript

Luise,
I know what you mean about asking anyone to sit with your angel with 4 paws.  Ours is in puppy heaven but when she
was here, she would have been appalled at having to stay with anyone.  One time when we were gone for 2 days,
we had a sitter come over and feed and walk her.  He called us and told us that she would not come out of the bathroom.
She was sprawled onto the floor the entire time, as dramatic as Bette Davis in her prime.  When we got home, she
ignored us, sulked and still sprawled on the floor, pretending she was ill.  Even doggies can be great actresses.
[/quote]

Once while my parents went away overseas, I moved home to take care of my younger brothers and the dogs.  I accidentally stepped on the paw of my Stepmother's little japanese chin he yelped, I gave him a cuddle and checked, he was fine.  For two whole weeks that dog limped every time he caught my eye!  The rest of the time he ran about as normal, but if he saw me watching, he'd limp!

luise.volta

Those stories are hilarious!!!  ;D ;D Our Chihuahua walks on four legs but runs on three. He always has...people worry but I tell them to watch him...sometime it's one leg that's "hurt" and sometimes it's another!  :o
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Pen

DH & I don't animal sit at our house anymore. We took care of a baby lamb once, inside our house (we had to change its disposable diapers and feed it from a bottle - so cute!) I thought it would be a good experience for the children. It glombed (sp?) onto DH, of course, since he's the biggest softie in the world and hates to see animals suffer. It spent the first day in his home office with him, sitting under his desk while he worked. Then it stood up, looked at him, fell over and died. Needless to say, DH was very broken up and we've not done anything like that since.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

luise.volta

How totally awful about the baby lamb! I wouldn't do it again, either. Ever!

And Hope, I have a hard time finding any humanity in"the grandparent on one side get to sit the GC and the others gets the dog." I agree, about simply not being available. That level of thoughtlessness amazes me. I'm so sorry.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Hope

Luise, it's so good to see you posting so much today.  I'll take that as a sign that you are gaining your strength.  These dog stories are precious!  They have the cutest personalities and they are so smart!   Not to mislead you - we haven't actually been honored with the status of dog sitting yet.  We have never been asked to keep our granddogs, even though I offered.  So far, only dil's parents have been asked and I'm bracing myself for the possibility that we may be asked after gc is born and the "real" gp's will be asked to watch gc.  I hope I'm totally wrong.
Hugs your way, Hope

luise.volta

Oh, yes...lets not even "think" of such an eventuality.

Yes, I am feeling better in my heart as I create a plan that is working for Val and me. I still have a long way to go energy-wise and I wonder if my foot will ever recover.

My present crisis is about my other site. I have questions backed up on www.MomResponds.com. I wonder if any of you would like to take a question and run with it and send me your answer? If so, please send me a Personal Message and I will send you one. Maybe this isn't the place to ask but I guess I just did.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

bettylou

I think the best thing for me to do is just say no I can not, it will not work for me the next time they ask me to watch the dog and leave it at that.  No fighting no crying and whinning, I will just say I am sorry but we can't.

cremebrulee

Quote from: penstamen on April 18, 2010, 04:53:24 PM
DH & I don't animal sit at our house anymore. We took care of a baby lamb once, inside our house (we had to change its disposable diapers and feed it from a bottle - so cute!) I thought it would be a good experience for the children. It glombed (sp?) onto DH, of course, since he's the biggest softie in the world and hates to see animals suffer. It spent the first day in his home office with him, sitting under his desk while he worked. Then it stood up, looked at him, fell over and died. Needless to say, DH was very broken up and we've not done anything like that since.

Pen?  OMGosh...how sad....

cremebrulee

QuotePostscript

Once while my parents went away overseas, I moved home to take care of my younger brothers and the dogs.  I accidentally stepped on the paw of my Stepmother's little japanese chin he yelped, I gave him a cuddle and checked, he was fine.  For two whole weeks that dog limped every time he caught my eye!  The rest of the time he ran about as normal, but if he saw me watching, he'd limp!

We had a female doberman that did the exact same thing...it was hysterical...she did it to get attention....but when she was playing with the other dogs, nothing....or when were not looking...they are amazing aren't they?

luise.volta

One of my many husbands (there have been 5) was a Behavioral Psychologist, and studied animal behavior to learn more about humans. Boy, can we learn a lot about ourselves watching our pups!!  ;D ;D
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama