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Advice needed please

Started by tryingmybest, February 26, 2012, 04:06:31 pm

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Pooh

I agree that it should be discussed between them.  So unfair to stick TMB in the middle and make her the bad guy.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

pam1

Quote from: Pooh on March 06, 2012, 01:48:03 pm
I agree that it should be discussed between them.  So unfair to stick TMB in the middle and make her the bad guy.


Yep. 

It's also one step closer to DS speaking up about his needs to his wife and her FOO.  Mom can't do it for him, he has to do it himself. 
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

Pen

Father's wishes are important too, I agree. During our prenatal classes the training midwives made sure DH & I were in agreement on everything pertaining to labor, delivery, and postnatal care. We had some close friends there since no FOOs were available. They understood that if the midwives said they had to leave, they were out of there.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

artlady

Be glad your ds wanted someone there , my only child had her first (wantred us in there in waiting room)and her dh didn't want anyone there , i mean even in the waiting room or visiting . I just wanted to be called so we could go to the waiting room , I have no desire to be in delivery, been there done that and i think that is for the two of them and the new baby. DD called us while he was downstairs with baby , left her in room alone for 4 hours as baby needed things done to him so he went to supervise and there was my daughter just had baby with no one there with her , we were 2 hours away so we were getting off work and going as fast as we could .( she had a fast 6 hour delievery and it went well) he was not happy to see us and for that day and part of the next before we left he was as rude as he could be so we were in the motel and around town more than in the hospital. So it is a very touchy time i guess , I thought it was a time of celebration for family. He is so disconnected from his own family, not close at all so i don't' think he cares for her to have close ties, so he can control move of her life. I  hope we can get past it and have a bond with this new gs who is now 7 weeks old . We go visit while he is at work so not to rock any boats.

tryingmybest

Well I'm a grandma!  ;) Everyone is doing great, a bit sleep deprived but making it through. Saw DGC the night of the birth in the nursery. I  insisted on coming back the next day for visiting hours instead of swooping in on my DIL fresh out of the delivery room, which was oddly enough what her FOO insisted on doing. Spent delivery day hanging out in town with visits to the hospital, never went up to labor and delivery, and oh dear Lord the delivery room was never an option, I didn't want to be there when I was giving birth! Giving the new family lots of space to bond and hoping for the best.

artlady

glad the baby is here and you got to visit , hope it all went well and will continue to get better. love that little one when you can , that is what we all can do . thinking of you grandma

pam1

Quote from: tryingmybest on March 25, 2012, 05:41:00 pm
Well I'm a grandma!  ;) Everyone is doing great, a bit sleep deprived but making it through. Saw DGC the night of the birth in the nursery. I  insisted on coming back the next day for visiting hours instead of swooping in on my DIL fresh out of the delivery room, which was oddly enough what her FOO insisted on doing. Spent delivery day hanging out in town with visits to the hospital, never went up to labor and delivery, and oh dear Lord the delivery room was never an option, I didn't want to be there when I was giving birth! Giving the new family lots of space to bond and hoping for the best.


Congratulations!
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

Pen

March 26, 2012, 06:35:20 am #22 Last Edit: March 26, 2012, 07:58:48 am by Pen
TMB, congratulations to all. Glad to hear all is well and that you were able to see your DGC. Here's to continued joy & happiness with your newest family member!
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

lancaster lady

Congratulations Tmb ......a grandchild melts your heart  like no other .

artlady

congrats congrats congrats to you

Pooh

Congrats TMB!  And great job on how you handled the visit!
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

herbalescapes