UPDATE ON GRANDSON THAT I GOT LAST WEEK AND SCHOOL REPORT TO CPS!

[JaneF]

What a rough week for my little 8 year old grandson. He did tell school counselor about abuses, and it was so hard not to just bawl hearing what he told. The school hot lined it, the CPS came and spoke to him in my home. He repeated what he told school for the most part, but he was so scared he was shaking and counselor noted this. So sad. The cruel things being done to those two boys makes me sick. My DD tried to call within a few hours of this, so CPS did go to their home! My DD said she told CPS the locks were on outside of bedroom door to "protect" the younger one age 3 from getting out at night! I asked her what about the 8 year old?? She told me he was put in locked room fro behaviors he was exhibiting. I reminded her she told me the hospital diagnosis for his behavior (she told me herself) was the environment and instabiltiy! Not HIS fault! I would love to see actual report, and I plan to make sure a copy is sent to the pediatrician I use here or CPS or both! I then asked my DD what did all that have to do with her husband HITTING these kids in the face and with a cutting board! Was that for "protection" too??? My older grandson had a melt down this am, just a sudden burst of tears and ran to hide! I held and rocked him and told him he was safe here. I asked if there was more he had to tell, and he said he didn't want to tell... I suggested that instead of talking about it maybe he could write what he wanted to say. He sat down and began to write, and then I told him to place the paper in his school folder and he could give it to the person he chose at school, teacher or counselor. He said okay. I read it after he went to play, and I am embarrassed to say I bawled like a baby! I am so angry at my DD and her husband. This child had written that son in law "makes him be spanked whenever he gets bored", and he makes everyone come in the living room to watch him (step siblings that DO NOT get abused he said, mom, his little brother) so it embarrasses him...the spelling was wrong but you can tell what he was trying to say. He wrote that step dad told him whenever he is bored he will "nock" him upside the head to "were" he will go flying through the walls. He wrote at the end that he was told not to tell "enyone" about the paddle.  I plan to call school Monday and request a copy put in his school file,and I want that sent to CPS as well). I plan to also call law enforcement and see if I can make a report in this town, or if I need to notify prosecutor in that town, or will CPS report this or what? I NEED to help that younger child get out of that environment too, as this one is worried. I hope this is not too graphic to post Luise, and I do NOT need legal or medical advice of course, I just need a place to rant and I feel safe doing it here. If you opt to remove my post I will understand. It is just nice to get support here from this web site. Now I'm off to get a book report started, and need to quiz on multiplcation math facts after that! Blessings to you all on here.   J

[firelight]

Oh  my, JaneF......

My heart is bleeding for you and the GC.  I am so glad you have the 8 yr old and the DD and SIL do not need posession of any living thing that breathes.  I hope consequences come of it to the abusers. 

I am so sorry you are having to go through this.  I hope that DD and SIL will willingly give up the rest of the children to loving homes.  Then they can knock the crap out of each other as they probably will when no one weaker than them is there to bully and destroy.   What a sad sad situation.  People like them should be mandated to be surgically "fixed" as to not be able to reproduce.  for shame.

[JaneF]

Thank you firelight, the support here helps ease the pain because I know there are others out there that understand. Thankfully my DD HAS had a tubal ligation since she had 3 c-sections! I plan to keep myself strong to be an advocate for these kids. I spoke with the loser son in law's ex wife last night, as she called me to let me know he was mad about CPS showing up. Well, WAAAAAAA! I too hope they endure severe consequences for the harm done to these defenseless children...but I honestly do not hold out any false hopes on that. Apparently he doesn't treat the two sons he has with his ex wife this way, but he has a 15 year old daughter from a FIRST marriage that he treats badly, and guess what? She ran away about a month ago! Hope she is safe. This guy is a monster, pure and simple, and my DD cannot possibly either be in her right mind, or she has no heart, or she is drugged so much her head is in the clouds...probably all of the above. I am angry at them both, but anger will not help my little ones...I need to stay focused and calm. It is hard though I have to admit! If nobody objects I'll keep updating on how we are doing with the children.  Again, thanks so much.  J

[firelight]

Keep posting JaneF!  It's good to have a support system here as you go through your situation.  I love it because my DH doesn't have to listen to me quite as much about it when I have a place to dump sometimes. 

and I'll call the waaaa-mbulence for your SIL......  ;-)

[JaneF]

LOL!   Waaa-mbulance, FUNNY!  Hope he goes to jail for drug charges, then they add assault on these kid charges on top of that, he needs several years in jail for being so mean to my little guys. My own DD should also have to be charged for allowing the cruelty and humiliation to go on, and them SUUPORT him in his decision to do it to them! Maybe there ought to be a law where you could do the dame things to these perpetrators that they do to the victims...never going to happen, I am just venting!  My little guy was afraid tonite for some reason, so he is sleeping right here by me in the living room, he didn't want to go to his bedroom.     Probably because my DD was sending text messages and pictures of his little brother, and perhaps he began to worry again about his safety since he knows what happens there???  Just a guess on my part though. I am still crossing my fingers that CPS will refer this situation to law enforcement...but one never knows huh?  Terrorizing and humiliating a child is vile.

[jill1963]

Hi JaneF,
sounds like you did the right thing, I now hope you get your remaining GS as he needs to be out of that situation also. I cannot believe that your DD has let this go on in the first place and it sounds like she also needs to get out of this relationship before it destroys her also completely .
sending healing thoughts to your GS and positive energy for the one still in your DD's care, also strength to yourself to deal with this nasty situation.

Best Wishes,
Jill

[JaneF]

Thanks Jill, but to be quite honest my DD is just as guilty of abuse as her husband is in my opinion.  When he has the entire family from my DD, to siblings, to step siblings come into the room to witness this child being hit with the cutting board repeatedly, and she goes along with it...she should be charged as well. Also the children are not locked in a room for their "safety" like she claims either...my grandson says it is so they can sleep late until 10 o'clock...no wonder my DD CLAIMED she was homeschooling, she could sleep and not have to get her lazy butt out of bed to feed him and prepare him for school or help him with homework etc. She is responsible for her own abuse of street and prescribed drugs as well...she needs to take responsibility for her actions or lack there of. Thanks for your kind response...and believe me I am diligently trying to do what is best for these sweet little children.  I am very tempted to make "a lot of noise" if child protective services or law enforcement cannot do SOMETHING in this case...they are going to be ruined emotionally and probably will be physically harmed more and more if this is not stopped.  I apologize on this post if I sound cranky, but it was hard tonite to see this tiny 8 year old so scared he did not want to go to bed in hid bedroom and thus needed to stay where I am in the living room to feel secure enough to sleep.    Things will be okay, I think I am just very tired myself, not sleeping well either...just have had a lot of things to do and I meet myself coming and going...but today will be a new day and I plan to make it a good one!  J

[shorewil]

It sounds to me like jail for SIL and maybe an intervention for DD You did the right thing reporting them - the only legal thing to do. I know, that as a teacher, we are required to report ANY suspected child abuse or can face legal action. Can you get a case worker advocate for GS and maybe play therapy started?You love him a lot and keephim safe- but he needs someone else to talk to. The statistics for child abuse  in the US are staggering - and that is just what gets reported. Has anyone checked your GS for signs of sexual abuse ? His fear to tell makes me wonder. Do all you can to get ALL of the children out of there. I also fear for the safety of your DD.You are in my prayers and thoughts. Please keep us updated.

[JaneF]

Thanks Shorewil.  I sent an e-mail Friday to the Childrens Advocacy Center in this part of our state, and I plan to follow up by calling Monday. They offer this type of counseling for children in these situations, and yes...he needs professional help right now I strongly agree!!!  I will mention that he has not told about sexual abuse, but I would like them to explore that just in case  .  He goes to pediatrician for check up on Tuesday as well.  I plan to have him also have available the school counselor in case he needs to talk daily or gets upset at school.  I really do not have concern for my daughters well being because she is not physically abused by him my grandson said, although they do argue.  She gets away from him (my husband and I have helped her leave countless times, and her older brother also has done so)...but she always goes back.  Probably for more of the drug connections!  I feel he needs jail time, but to be fair I also feel what she is allowing to happen needs to have serious consequences as well.  I have talked to the prosecutor in that town, and this guys ex wife too.  I am going to try really hard to get the other grandson out of that environment ASAP...but will need help of child protective services and law enforcement and courts to accomplish that.  If they do not step in and take steps, that leaves me dead in the water of course.  We are crossing our fingers...thank you so much for pointers and advice, I so appreciate all the info I can get!  They have messed with the wrong granny in this case!!!  I will fight for these children  TRUST ME!  Have a most joyous day!  J

[lancaster lady]

All power to you Jane .....I hope you get these kids safe asap .
I would do everything in my power the same as you to protect them .
The law is an ass if they don't do everything they can to help you .
Good luck and bless those little kids .

[Beth 2011]

Dear JaneF,

Your GC are lucky to have you in their lives.  I see children that do not have the family support or any kind of network when they are caught up in an abusive situation.  Just keep giving them love and remind them that it is not their fault.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your little ones.

[JaneF]

Ahhhh just got off work a bit ago and am now relaxing a bit before bed time!  My night went well, I only had one power outage, no house fires or car wrecks...I love those kinds of nights!  You all don't know how much I appreciate your support and kindness. I too hope CPS or law enforcement will do what is right in our case for these little fellas.  I am fiercly protective of my grandkids, especially the ones who have this kind of trauma!  I am still baffled by how anyone can hurt a child...or anyone really, unless defending oneself of course.  Yesterday was too funny around our house.  My little guy was without his ADHD med due to most of his prescription being "missing"...and while I was doing up my laundry and a few other things he was taking an occaisional sneak to the pantry (his sister was also a culprit!), and together they ate a mountain of cookies!!!  Papa had just bought those the day before.  lol  He got home a saw they were bouncing all over the place (sugar high), so he went outside with them so they could run and play a while.  The weather was lovely.  Silly little stinkers.  But the house is quiet now since they had school today, so I plan to rest while I have the chance.  HAVE A GREAT DAY!  J

[shorewil]

Jane F. So nice to hear some happiness !! Kids are great LOL I know you will do everything you can for all of these kids. I am sooooo proud of you !
Our family is sad that the son of our niece  is in high demand - His dad already wants to take custody away from my SIL and BIL. He seemed like a real nice guy when we first met him - and I think he really loves the boy - trouble is- the kid watched him beat up his mom. I  think it's crappy. He will have a new school, new friends, new place to live - all right on top of losing his mother.

[JaneF]

My little guy had a serious melt down at school yesterday, the school counselor called me.  He was unconsolable, and had curled up in a fetal posistion and screamed I will not talk about it! He wanted to come home, but he so needs to be in school.  I did pick him up early because I had an appointment with the pediatrician to have his meds lined out again, treat the foot that has been neglected, and I gave him a copy of the letter and gave to the counselor saying he had been abused  .  I hope the doctor will hot line it since he is a mandatory reporter...I refuse to give up until we get to the bottom of everything that has happened to this little boy, and is probably still happening to his little brother.  It breaks my heart to think about it, but I am working hard to get help. CPS here in my town said she will not call in law enforcement because he had no marks on him    Emotional abuse and some other types of abuse do not always have obvious marks visible...duh.  Why not err on the side of safety for these children?  Just seeing the lock turned backwards to keep them in a room should have raised a red flag in my opinion...also school records reflecting he has been out most of this entire school year should raise questions, would they not?  I will continue to be diligent and fight for these kids, I promise you that much.  Also this little fella has a case of athletes foot...holy cow, did they take care of him at all?  He told me his mom had toothpaste but he was never allowed to use any, so he said they never, ever brushed their teeth either.  Nice.  After we get some of these priority issues looked into, I will set some time for dental check up! Had a wild and crazy night at work lat night due to major storms and winds. We has many power poles knocked down, lines knocked down by sheds and roofs flying through them, and trees down into lines also...but no injuries that we know of...so that is the good news!  Have a joyous day ladies.  Jane

[lancaster lady]

I suppose each time he has to explain , he is reliving his nightmare .
Poor little guy .
He's too young to realise everyone is trying to help him .
Going to take time , but at least you're there for him .
Sending hugs .