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controlling sil

Started by artlady, February 11, 2012, 07:22:34 AM

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phillek

Got it, Jane.

Again, I know I am hypersensitive on this issue, which is probably why I misunderstood.  :)

JaneF

I totally understand!  Been there!  My youngest son was 9 months old when I found out I was expecting my daughter  :o, so I was also very pregnant and trying to care for another less than 18 months old, and a 5 year old....sigh.  I was exhausted and cranky a lot!  Best  to you with the arrival of your new little one!  J

FAFE

phillek, as your new MIL, am I allowed to come see the baby?  LOL! 

artlady, my BIL was not so much controlling and he was so good about letting us know how very smart he was.  He left a very bitter taste in our mouths after he retired from his job and got a contracting job 15 hours from his wife who had just been diagnosed with early onset dementia.  Totally left her, and we had to pick up the pieces and take care of her.  She passed away Jan 18th and he did take 3 days out of his life to be there for her funeral.  I could write a book about him (and maybe will one of these days).  He may have been the same way if he was in another profession, so maybe generalizing about what he was/is may have been a little out there. 

artlady

Quote from: FAFE on February 12, 2012, 09:33:18 AM
phillek, as your new MIL, am I allowed to come see the baby?  LOL! 

artlady, my BIL was not so much controlling and he was so good about letting us know how very smart he was.  He left a very bitter taste in our mouths after he retired from his job and got a contracting job 15 hours from his wife who had just been diagnosed with early onset dementia.  Totally left her, and we had to pick up the pieces and take care of her.  She passed away Jan 18th and he did take 3 days out of his life to be there for her funeral.  I could write a book about him (and maybe will one of these days).  He may have been the same way if he was in another profession, so maybe generalizing about what he was/is may have been a little out there.
Maybe not to generalize the profession but maybe better to just address the personality as it is , as I'm sure there r lots of type A's everywhere with lots of facets from none to severe . We all have our flaws and none are perfect but no matter how it is I just wish everyone could at least be kind to one another regardless of it they like someone or not . I try to do that cause most of those folks i don't see a lot or all the time so I can suffer through it not to ruffle any feathers . This new generation is a bit different than mine and I'm sure they say it about each generation . As they say this too will pass I just hope and pray a divide doesn't happen that takes years to repair as we never know if we have tomorrow.

phillek

FAFE!  Of course you can come see the baby - that is if you promise that I won't have to chase you around the room with my stitches and physically pry your fingers off of him so I can take him to nurse, and that you won't storm out of the room in a huff because the nurse brings him in and hands him directly to me instead of to you, even though your arms are outstretched - this stuff actually happened, no exaggeration!  I'm scarred for life.  So glad to hear stories from reasonable GMs like you, artlady, and Jane, to take me down a notch!

Okay, I'll let artlady get back to her initial problem, now  :)

JaneF

phillek,  your last post made me laugh out loud!  Thanks, I enjoy a good laugh!  I got a good mental picture of that scene. lol   J

phillek

Quote from: JaneF on February 12, 2012, 11:14:53 AM
phillek,  your last post made me laugh out loud!  Thanks, I enjoy a good laugh!  I got a good mental picture of that scene. lol   J

Ha!  I know, I should write a sitcom for my own self-therapy  ;D

artlady

Quote from: phillek on February 12, 2012, 09:46:23 AM
FAFE!  Of course you can come see the baby - that is if you promise that I won't have to chase you around the room with my stitches and physically pry your fingers off of him so I can take him to nurse, and that you won't storm out of the room in a huff because the nurse brings him in and hands him directly to me instead of to you, even though your arms are outstretched - this stuff actually happened, no exaggeration!  I'm scarred for life.  So glad to hear stories from reasonable GMs like you, artlady, and Jane, to take me down a notch!

Okay, I'll let artlady get back to her initial problem, now  :)
Hey now if FAFE is coming I have to come for that birth. Hey between the two of us we might really do your MIL in and she might not ever bother you again at the birth of a baby. LOL I can't believe that happened , I would never do that , just want to support , help whatever needed and when it is ok oh yes i want to hold that little bundle but I can't nurse him , those have long dried up .  LOl

artlady

Quote from: phillek on February 12, 2012, 11:33:37 AM
Quote from: JaneF on February 12, 2012, 11:14:53 AM
phillek,  your last post made me laugh out loud!  Thanks, I enjoy a good laugh!  I got a good mental picture of that scene. lol   J

Ha!  I know, I should write a sitcom for my own self-therapy  ;D
I bet you could , hey I've got some good material from my life that would add to it so let me know if you need any more . LOL  I posted in wrong spot I think but if FAfe IS COMING you know i'll have to be there and we can handle the MIL i bet for you . Have you ever watched that show ONe Born every minute  ( i think that is it) . It is wild you should see the drama they have sometimes with family   lol

artlady

ok now I've got another question that all of you wise women can help me with . It will be a new topic and now you have the background so since you have helped me so much I know you can help me with the rest. I'm feeling so much better and I know that we'll be fine and so will they plus it is going to save me that big copay per hour for professional help.  THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU >  Look out for the new topic that I need to figure out how to handle the best way.

FAFE

Will, I'm not going to miss the birthing of my new grandson for nothing.  May have to tie my hands back to keep from grabbing him!!!  Yes, I bet me and artlady could probably outshine your MIL by our "good" behavior!  I cannot help with the feeding either unless it is with a bottle and some formula. 

artlady

Quote from: FAFE on February 12, 2012, 03:02:24 PM
Will, I'm not going to miss the birthing of my new grandson for nothing.  May have to tie my hands back to keep from grabbing him!!!  Yes, I bet me and artlady could probably outshine your MIL by our "good" behavior!  I cannot help with the feeding either unless it is with a bottle and some formula.
Well we had everything planned , dog sitter, car gassed ( for weeks) books, magazines to read while we waited but when dd called to tell me he was here I knew it wasn';t her choice as he had said one time while i was there and she and I were discussing which number to call in the middle of the night ( cell or house) and he added his two "cents"  . I've not read that anywhere she told him yes parents r called and he said well that will be up for discussion. I told my friends i knew i would not be called they said i would , wish i had taken bets  LOL Not my dd she is one that has called me everyday sometimes many times a day since she left for college , we chat and laugh like friends and i miss that , she calls now everyday on her way home or when she is out and about . He is jealous of her relationship we me or that he doesn't have his mother who died 11 years ago and he still seems to have issues there , the wedding was almost a memorial for her with all the things they wanted to do in her memory. Someone asked was it going to be a wedding or memorial service.  Ok now i 've got that out   lol  Now when is your grandson going to be born?

phillek

FAFE and artlady,

Bring it on :)  The only help with feeding I will need is loving, non-judgmentmental support - and maybe you ladies can be my bodyguards to protect my space during feeding time.   Whew, seriously though, I really can't wait - so excited!  It does feel good to get those silly worries off my chest and focus on the big picture.

artlady, I think FAFE was joking about her new grandson - she means my baby boy coming in April.  FAFE adopted me as her DIL in another post when I was ranting (shocker) about MIL.  FAFE actually has a real life sweet baby granddaughter.

artlady

Quote from: phillek on February 12, 2012, 05:07:32 PM
FAFE and artlady,

Bring it on :)  The only help with feeding I will need is loving, non-judgmentmental support - and maybe you ladies can be my bodyguards to protect my space during feeding time.   Whew, seriously though, I really can't wait - so excited!  It does feel good to get those silly worries off my chest and focus on the big picture.

artlady, I think FAFE was joking about her new grandson - she means my baby boy coming in April.  FAFE adopted me as her DIL in another post when I was ranting (shocker) about MIL.  FAFE actually has a real life sweet baby granddaughter.
Oh I missed the rant , oops  lol. Hey we would be good to support you , laugh, have fun , but keep the distance you need because there is nothing like that little one breathing on your neck and oh my goodness those little snuggle times no one should steal those from a mom unless they want to me a mad mama bear lol. I'm new to this site ( just a few days here ) so I'll have to keep my pea brain alert to remember who has who. I can be a surrogate anytime , I"m in NC if anyone ever needed some help  .

pam1

Hey ladies, just a reminder that blanket generalizations are highly discouraged here.  Please just discuss the personality in question.  We have women (and some men) who read and post here from all walks of life.
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift