Am I being crazy....

[firelight]

well, after all this time I had no idea that the lbs lost was literal....I just thought it was an ad....hehe.....I'm so nieve!

[firelight]

naieve

[themuffin]

LOL, Firelight!!!   It's because of those "lbs lost" images that I'm able to boast about losing my 10 lbs so far.  Could be more, could be less.  I'm afraid to get on the scale because of what Luise has said. MY numbers also go up and down...

[luise.volta]

T M -  My name on MyFitnessPal is Weegi. You can come over to our little WWI group of eight. We give each other incredible support there every day. What is your MFP name? (And it's OK, of course, if you don't want to join us.) Sending love...

[themuffin]

Thanks Luise!!!   I'm have been there and I'm proud to be a part of the group.  I must admit that I've been very bad with keeping up with my progress, or lack of progress depending on the day.

I have some really wonderful support from this sight at MFP.  Thanks for the welcome.  I will be checking into it today!

[luise.volta]

[themuffin]

Update....The baby really is a girl!!!!  

DS posted it on facebook, something I sincerely doubt he would do it they just wanted to deceive me.  Anyhoo...I sent him a friend request weeks ago and he never friended me.  I didn't lose sleep, big deal.  So when I saw his post I sent him a message.  This is what I wrote.  I edited the names. Oh, and the poor grammar was for effect..   I don't normally write things like "ain't gonna", LOL...

"Dang, You ain't even gonna friend your own momma??? It's okay...you don't gotta be my friend...I'm going to go cry now...Just Kidding!!! Sooo...I guess it's okay for me to know it's a girl? I never heard from FDIL, but since you posted it I guess it's not a secret.

Congratulations, DS!!! You've no idea how happy I am for you, or how proud I am of you! It feels a little strange at times when I think that my baby is going to have a baby. Where does the time go? I wish you all the a happiness in the world. I know that we went through some things and it got a little ugly, but at the end of the day You are my dearest, darling son and I love you over the moon.

I'll love you for always
I'll like you forever
As long as I'm living my baby you'll be...."

Would you believe he called me in panic asking what had I written on facebook because FDIL was mad???  He wanted to know if I mentioned that I knew the baby was a girl.  I said, "Well, yeah. You posted it on facebook.  I assumed it was no longer a secret."  I left out the "Ah duh"!!!  I said I didn't write anything bad and that he should read it for himself.  He said he didn't have access at the time.  I told him I was sorry she was mad at him and to my suprise he said, "She's always mad at me.  You don't have to apologize, you didn't do anything wrong.  Love you, Momma. Bye". 

Sheesh, she certainly is taking a lot of the joy out of this.  And I'm not even thinking about me or my DH, but for DS.  YS gave them both a ride from the hospital last weekend and he came back and even he had to comment about FDIL (and they normally get along).  He said, "I don't know if it's the pregnancy or her hormones, but she was getting on my nerves!!!" I had taken two steps forward, but after the call from yesterday I took a step back. 

I'm really praying on it, but dear Lord I don't like FDIL!!! Why can't DS tell his own mother the birth of his child.  I know her mother knows.  It's just sorry and sad....

[luise.volta]

T M - He is how he is...the "why" isn't going to help and a whole lot of what goes on doesn't make any sense, anyhow. Mostly, I doubt that "they" want to know what we think or how we feel...openly on FB or even privately. It just complicates things for them that are often too complicated, already. Just my take. Sending love...

[JaneF]

Sorry that your FDIL is taking the joy out of the situation.  Been there done that with my own DIL for the past 13 years.  I hope all goes well for your DS in this case.  If your FDIL posted it on Facebook for all to see, I do not understand why she'd be mad!  Good grief.  If I didn't know better I'd say our DIL and FDIL must be sisters!  Protect yourself, I don't know about your case, but after the grandchildren were born in our case only HER family was allowed to really be in their lives.  You said her mother knew everything and that was okay right?  I hope I do not upset you by saying that MAY be a prediction of her future behavior, but I really hope not.  Having grandaughters is a joy, that I know.  Of course I adore my grandsons equally though!  Blessings to you.  J

[Pooh]

I'm going to play devil's advocate here muffin.  He could have been shocked over a couple of things.  Since he hadn't accepted your friend request, maybe he didn't know you could see his statuses.  Some people don't know that unless you set your settings so only friends can see it, that it's open to the world.  Plus, since he hadn't accepted your request, it probably shocked him to get an email through FB.  If someone wouldn't accept my friend request, I wouldn't have thought to send them an email through their FB.  I would take it that if they didn't accept me, then they didn't want any contact through FB from me.  Also, if I didn't accept someone's friend request, I would be thinking if that sent me an email about something I posted, that they were being stalkish watching my page. (Mine's closed to anyone except friends for that reason).  I am a realist and know that anything I post on FB is public, no matter how much I lock my account down as it's the world-wide web, but some people don't understand that and have a perception that their stuff is private except to those they want to see it. 

I think your email was very, very nice.  I also think since DS said what he said before hanging up, he gets it.  He understands how FDIL is being and her personality, but he has chosen her.  He's probably very torn between trying to keep her happy and including you too.  I think since he said it the first time in front of you, and now his last words, he doesn't know which way to turn about it.

I also think it is so sad that he can't share the news with his Mother.  Your DS is like mine, he is going to have to take a stand at some point or your relationship will be non-existant, like mine.  I also understand the honesty in saying you don't like her.  I feel the same way.  I don't like her because of past interaction and we are just two very, very different people.  That's ok.  I can still be civil.  We can't make them be civil unfortunately.  They have that choice.

[luise.volta]

Yes, to how wonderful granddaughters can be...and let me tell you my great-greaddaughter, who is 18 years old, is totally wonderful. I wish I knew how to get her picture on here for you. She's beautiful, smart, funny...what can I say? 

[themuffin]

Awww...Luise I would love to see a picture of your beautiful Great Granddaughter!    I have also wished to share pictures of my Darling little five month old Isabel.  She truly delights the heart! 

Yes, Luise you are right. He is how he is.  He's a very simple person, but somehow he's complex in his simplicity. 

Hi Jane, yes she is taking the joy out of it for me.  I only hope that she's not always that way with DS.  He just sounded so emotionally drained yesterday.  I know he loves her and he wants her to be happy.  He knows it makes her unhappy if he has a relationship with us so he limits his contact with his FOO.  I know this bothers him.  During one of his few visits when we were discussing the baby and he made it clear that he wanted his family to be a part of the baby's life, he said he told her that he was going to be bringing the baby by without her, and that it wasn't fair that they spent all their time with her family and he never got to spend time with his family.  He's torn. I never say a word about him coming over more, or calling more.  I just let it be.  I'm okay with it really.  This is gonna sound mean, but DH and I was actually happy that they spent most of their time hanging out with her family.  We don't mind a visit now and then, but the last thing we want is to see them ALL THE TIME!!! LOL 

Oh, and it was DS that posted it on his facebook page.  She has one, but rarely post anything. At least the last time I checked. Which was this morning because I was curious to see if she was going to write something mean. To her credit, she didn't.  I will not be visiting again.  It's like looking for trouble and who needs that?

Pooh, you aren't playing devil's advocate...You are pretty much repeating what my DH said.     When he saw that I was upset in the supermarket and I explained what happened the first thing he said was why did I write him in the first place.  And then he said I should have took the hint when he didn't friend me.  In hindsight I now see that I should have left well enough alone, only because it upset her and that upset him.  However, if she didn't get mad about it, I don't think DS would have been upset.  It was not a mean message.  She wants him to have no or very limited contact with his family. It has to be all about her and her family and DS is beginning to show signs of not approving of that.

On facebook your account can be open to the public or private.  I'm sure DS and FDIL know these things.  They aren't big on facebook. Their post are far and few between.  Unlike a lot of people I know who post their every thought and event on FB, FDIL, DS and even me, rarely, and I mean rarely post.  I could understand if their pages were like journals and my happening to look them up would seem intrusive.  But it's not like that at all and I felt no harm in letting him know I saw his post about the baby and that I was proud of him.  I won't do it again, not because I think DS was upset that I did. I won't because I know it upset her and when she's upset it gets directed toward him. 

I don't have to like her (I wish I did. I really, truly tried) but he likes her and that's what counts. This is their family. It's not about me. At the end of the day I lay beside my DD (darling dog) who is beside my DH and we go to sleep in our peaceful home. DS needs to do whatever he has to do to maintain his peaceful home.  If that means siding with FDIL that's what he should do.  I've got my own life.  He needs to take care of his.  I understand that. 

[luise.volta]

"I will not be visiting (FB) again.  It's like looking for trouble and who needs that?"

Yay!!

[Pooh]

Isn't it nice to have some peace and quiet?  I miss that right now with SD in the house.  I swear she is the noisiest person ever.  Her every footstep sounds like a stomp, she slams cabinets, microwave...and I'm not talking about when she's mad...just all the time.  I don't think she knows how to do anything gently or quietly...Lol.  I got use to going home in the evening and having the house to myself for about 4 hours until DH got home.  Funny that for 22 years, I never noticed noise until it was gone.  Then I missed it, then I liked it, now I miss the silence!  Ha ha ha

I get it.  I really do because I did it in the beginning.  DIL's page wasn't private after she booted me and all my family and I would go check to see if she was writing anything mean about any of us.  I did.  I stalked her page.  I told myself I was looking for answers but I think I was really looking for evidence to say, "See, told you she was awful."  It took me awhile to get that I didn't need to go see.  I knew how she was and I knew how I felt about it.  There was nothing she could write that could worse than the couple of years in person that her and I had.  Everybody else could make up their own mind.  So I haven't gone and looked in a year.  I honestly don't care what she does or writes anymore.  I don't need the justification or validation.  I booted her Mother about then too because I got tired of seeing, "XXXX and XXXX just left here after spending all day with us.  I love those kids and they are my pride and joy!"  I mean at least 4 times a week it was something about them being over to their house or going to do something.  It was just driving the stake deeper into my heart.  So I booted her.  I'm no angel and I got immense satisfaction doing it too.   

[themuffin]

Pooh, you are one hilarious woman!!! "So I booted her.  I'm no angel and I got immense satisfaction doing it too. "  LOL 

When DS and FDIL lived with us I remember how happy hubby and would get when we arrived home and saw that their car wasn't in the driveway!!   It reminded me of that feeling you got when you went to school and found out your teacher was absent!   But if I'm being honest it wasn't so much that they were noisy than they were MESSY!!!!  I hate a messy house.  It's literally depresses me. 

My middle son is noisey!!!   He's a good kid/man so when he said he wanted surround sound for xmas I got it for him.  What the heck was I thinking??? I thought that he would watch a movie now and then and put on the surround sound. Nope, not my son.  He watches everything in surround sound. Sitcoms, commericals, you name it.  All loud and house shaking.  I must have been out of my mind.