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"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


The Glorious CBF

Started by 2chickiebaby, April 11, 2010, 02:21:46 pm

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willingtohelp

I'm gobsmacked.  RR....she went to a site for DsIL who have horrible MsIL and basically said that the anger they feel couldn't possibly be due to their MsIL and must be because of some problem with them.  It would be like someone coming here and telling Chickie that since her sons and DsIL don't like her the problem must be her.  Both are mean and hurtful and shouldn't be done.  And then the posters responded by telling her to be respectful, read their stories, and basically get off their site and come back to this one.  Were some more blunt than I might be, yes.  Did I totally disagree with their sentiments, no.  I really want to understand how you feel that it wasn't wrong to go there and post.   And likewise, do you feel that if they all come here and post that the MsIL here are being mean that you'll embrace their opinions and feel that they're not doing anything wrong either?

Postscript

Lets change that original post around a little

We are Mothers too. I am reading what you're writing and feel like I'm dying. What do you want us to do? Be very careful about throwing out his wife. Someday you might end up an estranged Mother in law and no matter what you do, your DIL won't like you because you threw her away. It will break your heart. Stop and think before you do what you are doing."

How would you honestly feel if that were posted under your post about how awful your daughter in law has been to you and what steps you were taking to address it?



2chickiebaby

No, I didn't say that, Clover.
I'd like for this to end.  I think enough has been said to me about it.  I am not a patient that anyone needs to diagnose or
call some kind of name.  That's enough.



Quote from: clover on April 13, 2010, 08:10:18 pm
I'm gobsmacked.  RR....she went to a site for DsIL who have horrible MsIL and basically said that the anger they feel couldn't possibly be due to their MsIL and must be because of some problem with them.  It would be like someone coming here and telling Chickie that since her sons and DsIL don't like her the problem must be her.  Both are mean and hurtful and shouldn't be done.  And then the posters responded by telling her to be respectful, read their stories, and basically get off their site and come back to this one.  Were some more blunt than I might be, yes.  Did I totally disagree with their sentiments, no.  I really want to understand how you feel that it wasn't wrong to go there and post.   And likewise, do you feel that if they all come here and post that the MsIL here are being mean that you'll embrace their opinions and feel that they're not doing anything wrong either?

Marilyn

Redrose,Clover and postscript have a very good point.

please help me understand your point of view,please.

how do you see this being alright?

willingtohelp

I apologize if I've misinterpreted your statements.  Please explain this one:

"Someone must have been horrible to you and I'm sorry for that but it's obvious to me that someone was very cruel because no one could be this vicious over a mother in law. Something in your lives is not right. Something far more than your husband's mother. What is it?"

I took that to mean that you feel their anger is due to something other than their MIL.

luise.volta

Stop. Right now. Stop. Get back to what we came here for. I don't have the time or the energy to police our site until Val gets settled in at the nursing home and I recover from the paralysis of care giving too long and too hard. You know that. Please back me up until I get back on my feet.

Before I lock this topic down...I am asking the adults to stay and get back to what we're here for and will the rest of you please leave and not come back. You know who you are...stop the drama...all of you.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama