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19 year old daughter disrespect

Started by Pattipal4, December 27, 2011, 09:00:28 am

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Smilesback@u


Pooh

That's it Smiles!  It's ok for you to be angry....it's normal to be angry when things like that happen.  Now, do something positive with that anger.  You've paid your airfare and hotel and have your other DS to go visit for your birthday!  Have a wonderful time, laugh...enjoy yourself and phooey on them.  They are the ones losing out.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Smilesback@u

boo-hoo, really, I do feel rejected, and hurt.  Sorry to say that, and also sorry that money seems to come between my oldest DS and me, so pathetic to see this happen.  Maybe I will develop a more positive attitude, but I doubt DS will ever get over not being able to get me to fork over money when he wants.  He loves Monopoly -- and my feelings are not a game, so will stop thinking about it if I can.  I am not going to seek revenge or avoid him.  I will just be thoughtful about how I respond next time to the idea that we are going to all get together.  I really jumped at it this time.  Thanks again Pooh, Yah, *phooey on them*  ...I will go on with my own life, chin up, put a lift in my step, (I will probably have to lose some weight to do that I think, ;)  and I will continue to speak my mind and heart with meaning to him.  I recognize that I am not getting any younger, and since I am going to be 60 years young, I have more that I want to do before I am gone, which does not include getting set up for disappointments, like this.  This is something I guess I had to learn, first hand, so that I hopefully do not do this to someone else.  I don't remember setting someone up for a visit and then *negging out* on them.  I have done something like this cancelling a lunch or dinner, and I promise I will not do that again either if I can avoid it.  This one hurt and I am going to get over it.     

luise.volta

Smiles - You already sound better!  :D Venting can be very healthy when we are willing to let it take us back into balance. And you're right, we learn not to do that to others unless it is a serious situation...and I think most people understand that.

Years ago I used to vent and get so attached to it and so sorry for myself that I just made things bigger and worse. "Oh, the injustice of it all..etc.") Now, I usually journal or share how rotten "it" is with you guys and POOF, it gets reduced to a manageable size. :) I also figured out long ago, who did that routinely and I give them a lot of room before I take them seriously. I also set up Option B in advance.  ;)
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Smilesback@u

Yes, I am feeling better, more aware that I have a different set of expectations when it comes to our family get togethers.  I liked what you said earlier that I can think and feel, and direct myself accordingly.  Nothing has changed there just because my DS are grown up.  Thanks for being her, y'all. 

Pen

Smiles, plan a great time for yourself that doesn't hinge on anyone else. If they choose to join you & DH, great! If not, you'll have a wonderful time anyway. Their loss.

I was talking to a younger woman at work today who told me about the big party (in a tropical paradise) she and her sibs were planning for their mom's "big" birthday. They were all pitching in so Mom would have no travel expenses, nothing to do but sit on her beach chair and enjoy her family. I must admit to a twinge of jealousy, OK more than a twinge. But if I wait for something like that to happen to me I'll wait forever...just not in the stars for me, I'm afraid. I'll figure out a way to take my own silly self to a tropical paradise!
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Pooh

That's what I like about our cruises.  I can feel like the boat is my party!  I can have multiple desserts, in my honor and soak up the sun that's been placed there just for me!  Not to mention when they come around to ask about drinks all day, I know they are there for my party....hee hee.  We can make our own parties and strangers that come to my party are fun and I get to be myself. 

Make your own party!
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Smilesback@u

Ok, you are officially invited to my forever young party for the rest of my life.  Love you Wise Women you :)

Pen

We really do need to plan a cruise or other sort of WWU meetup...how many mani/pedi stations do you suppose they could fit in one spa?  ;D
Wouldn't that be a hoot, all of us getting pampered at one time?

Mimosas & leis for everyone! The ship departs now!
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

luise.volta

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Smilesback@u

.....Aloha....tiny bubbles in my wine, makes me happy, makes me feel fine  ::)

luise.volta

I need more sun screen...(Thanks, Kirk!)
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama