October 18, 2019, 05:46:06 pm

News:

"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


Need help with something/all input is needed

Started by 2chickiebaby, March 29, 2010, 12:39:41 pm

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

2chickiebaby

Quote from: cremebrulee on March 31, 2010, 04:03:48 am
Quote2chickiebaby
Our son, the one who is married to the wealthy woman, has a difficult time looking at me or being alone with me.  It is
like he's terrified that I might ask him something, like: "what is wrong with you?"


Hi Chickie, this is such a henous crime...so sad....I'm guessing, your son is embarrassed greatly, and that is why he can't look you in the eyes, and he probably, and I'm just guessing, not onlly fears you asking him questions about all this, but then, fears his wife doing the same thing...going back home with her and getting into a horrible argument...I don't know, I'm just guessing....people don't do things for one reason, but many, and I'm guessing, she is always on him about you....I really do hope and pray, he comes to terms with what is going on but quick...b/c no matter what, a son never stops loving his mother...he does love you Chickie...and unfortunately, that is what your DIL might fear the most...sad...I believe when a son marries, a DIL should understand the bonds between his mother and he, and encourage a good relationship...it's just all so sad and heartbreaking...I so wish, not one mother should have to endure this...

I don't know if I wrote this before, and if I did, please forgive my repetetive old brain, however, my counselor told me, when there are troubles between a MIL and DIL, for the son, it's like being in the middle of a love triangle, two women fighting over the same man, and for him, it's so hurtful...because it forces him to choose...it's so unfair and needless...

Chickie, I don't want to give you false hope, but want to share with you my thoughts...hope it's ok...I'm thinking the fact that he did come to see you, and couldn't look at you in the eyes, speaks volumns, that he does recognize your his mother and he feels badly about what is going on...you never know, maybe, just maybe this will be a wakeup call for him....men seem to move more slowly the women, but perhaps with time, he will come to his senses...I pray for that for you and all our sisters here....a mother's heart simply melts and forgives everything when she hears her child say, I'm sorry mom...and it could be so easy...it's so hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that our children, including DIL's just don't forget what has happened and move on with understanding and respect....

God bless you and yours chickie

I hope your feeling much better....

Love to you
Creme


Thank you, Creme...so sweet of you to comfort me like this. I really appreciate it and I needed that pat on the back.
XOXO

cremebrulee

QuoteAnna
Creme,  I am crying just thinking about my son saying "I'm sorry Mom",  That simple action would truly make my heart melt.  We love our children so much, why do our dils want to take our children away from us?  How can anyone be so cruel?


Yes, it sure would fix it all, wouldn't it?  Yanno, my girlfriend used to keep telling me through all of this, that as much as I was hurting, my son was hurting just as bad if not more...I know she was right.

2chickiebaby

Quote from: Anna on March 31, 2010, 05:39:41 am
Oh Chickie, I feel your pain.  I know that my son has trouble looking me in the eye too.  I think it is guilt, they know how much we hurt.  They are sorry too, I believe that with all my heart.  We know our sons, not dils version of our sons, OUR sons.  My son was so kind hearted, so loving & caring before dil.  I can't believe that that person is totally gone.  I know he is still there, somewhere.  It may take your son years to realize how much you have been hurt, but I think someday he will.
Creme,  I am crying just thinking about my son saying "I'm sorry Mom",  That simple action would truly make my heart melt.  We love our children so much, why do our dils want to take our children away from us?  How can anyone be so cruel?


I am really jaded, Anna, I have 2 DILs and their reasons for the supreme takeaway vary but both seemed hell bent on
doing it.  They succeeded and there you have it.  Funny thing, though. both of them were just like butter before they married.

Most potential MILs tell me, "but she's soooo nice!! We love her!!!"

I think to myself; "Uh huh...they're always nice at first. That's before the battle"  (I know some of them are not this way,
Luise....you have some exceptions.) 

My counselor's office is full of people like "me".

2chickiebaby

Quote from: Anna on March 31, 2010, 06:16:09 am
I know Chickie, my fdil is soooooo nice, so sweet, I am still going to keep a close watch on my heart.  Fdil has been in a controlling relationship, one where she was allowed NO contact with her parents for 3 years.  She is now understanding of the hurt she caused her parents.  They have 2 gc that they didn't see for 3 years.  Fdil knows how a controller works.  She has been thro it, & sees it in other people.  I am so hopeful of this relationship.
Chickie, I tend to be optomistic, & I still think that one day your sons will see, (if they don't already), the pain they have caused you & they will be sorry !!



I just know you'll get one of the exceptions, Anna.  She will be great to you!!

luise.volta

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama