Hey Everyone,
I don't post often, but my inlaw situation improved rather dramatically, so I thought post and let you all know. By way of background, I married almost six years ago and my inlaws boycotted my wedding because I was not of the same ethnicity (Vietnamese) as my husband. For more than five years, my inlaws tried to marginalize me in any way they could and my MIL has never spoken to me, ever, not even hello.
Well, early last year, DH and I learned we were expecting our third child, a son. Unbeknownst to me at the time, that this was a huge deal as our son would be the only son of a son in my husband's family. Apparently, that makes some sort of little mini king. Starting as soon as we learned it was a boy, they began trying to engage. My initial reaction was righteous indignation, as I was quite offended that my girls weren't good enough for those people. Right after DS was born, they began calling literally every three days. It was always MIL or FIL, dhs siblings, cousins, grandfather, and aunts were taking turns as well, but they literally called every three days for three months.
DH really wanted to go down and see them and reluctantly, I agreed. Then, the day we were supposed to go down there, he changed his mind. This had occured a number of times in the past where I agreed to go and then, at the last minute it would get cancelled either by DH or his family would reschedule the event. A few days later DH and I had a long conversation about why we didn't go before like we had planned, I finally decided I was tired of us agreeing to go down, me dreading it and then, it getting cancelled at the last minute, so I told him we were going down that weekend cause I wanted to get it over with. So, we went, MIL still didn't talk to me, but she wasn't nearly as rude as she has been in the past. Frankly, I think she thought she was being polite by keeping her mouth shut. So, I chatted with my sister in laws and I told DH that we could do it again in maybe a couple of months, cause I can deal with her not talking to me. She was nice to the kids, even the girls and my skin is thicker than that. DH was happy and the kids got to hang out with their cousins. Hopefully, things will get more normalized as time passes, but I figure that was a pretty big step considering the fact that up until recently, I had never even been in their house.