Help ME! I'm Drowning

[cocobars]

It will feel nice when I know I'm waving "goodbye" to a dangerous relative...

[Orly]

"Sigh",  yep I can relate to that feeling.   As much as one would like to have a "Father knows best" or "Leave it to Beaver" type of family,  most of us have that one or two questionable members (in the extended family or the immediate one).  That is when my little devil starts whispering, "Gee, lightening should blast them outta their shoes...." or something else horrible.   And the angel is trying to shush him up.


We deal with them the best we can.

[luise.volta]

I'm in your corner. Don't have much more to offer except regular Pings.

[cremebrulee]

coco, whatever happens, know we love you and hope it all works out...stay vigulant, and listen to these gals...they're pretty darn savvy if you ask me...

hugs and luv
creme

[cocobars]

I have finally bitten off more than I can chew.  My entire family has been taken in by this visit.  I don't know what to say or think.  Everyone thinks EC is wonderful.  I have to be honest.  Need somewhere to just talk.  I know that my OB was taken on some real estate deals by a very good "christian Realtor."  Being in the real estate business at the time, I warned him not to go into the last deal.  He did.  He and his wife are filing bankruptcy now. 

This is very depressing.  My father told me today that my EC is wonderful.  I said I didn't doubt that, but you need to be careful and not be taken in by someone who acts like that, and told him anyone can "act" that way for a short time, but it's not always who they are.  I reminded him of the things my GC said and he said he doesn't believe it.  I said, GC?  She was more honest than anyone I know, and was the closest to "Grandmother" and "Aunt." 

I'm very depressed.  I would like nothing better right now than to just crawl in a hole for at least a week.  The tables have turned.  Now, I'm the bad guy.  Someone, just shoot me.

[Marilyn]

Oh Coco,thats just awful.How did your dad change his mind this fast?And i thought GC called and talked to him also.

Please don't get depressed,you were trying to do the right thing.

Sending a big hug

[luise.volta]

And you're not paranoid. That is when people imagine someone is a threat. She really is!!!

[cocobars]

Thank you all for your support through this.  I really need it and I know you know that.  Just wanted to let you know how much it is appreciated.

Mominwaiting, my father trust my OB and my OB thinks my EC is ok.  I think that changed his mind.  I'm not really sure, because I don't go see her and since I have a problem with her, they are keeping her visits away from the house.  Thank God.  That's a good thing as far as I'm concerned.  I know how charming these scam artist are and have my own experiences, which only makes me ashamed for the rest of the family that they aren't seeing it.  I can't expect everyone to listen to me when the majority of my family is thinking she's ok.  I kept my mouth shut too long and opened it too late.

My GC says EC is very convincing and charming.  I have to remember growing up (because they live halfway across the country and I don't see them anymore), my GC and I seemed to be the only honest ones in the bunch.  LOL!  I know she is taking care of a husband who is bedridden and getting ready to pass, and her elderly mother.  That's pretty honest to me.  She let my aunt move in and tried to protect her, even if it didn't work.  So, I still see an open and honest heart.

My EC shows all the signs of a scam artist, and I'm seeing how she can come through and charm everyone, convincing people to trust her easily, like GC has said.  The fact that my GC tells me that there was nothing wrong with my Aunt's mind is something that bother's me.  My Aunt was no worse off than my father is now.  He doesn't need constant care, but just a little help from time to time.  I don't believe he would be able to keep up the yard if I wasn't here, and I drive them if they need to go anywhere.  That's a yard service and a cab.  He needs help making phone calls and sometimes figuring out bills, but that still doesn't say "nursing home" in my book.  I'm not in a position where I am constantly giving him my attention and my parents function pretty well by themselves.  I go up and check on them every day and see what needs to be done.  That isn't a nursing home to me.  I'm just thinking things through.

Yes Luise, I agree and believe she really is a threat.  Why am I standing alone here?

[luise.volta]

My guess is that you may be the bright bulb. On top of that, you can be emotional and brothers (males) tend to discount anything connected with emotion, as we all know.

I think your best thing is to appear to let it go. I think that may be the only way you may eventually sell the idea the two POAs each. It simply has nothing to do with the EC...you've let that pretty much go and bow to big bro. The POAs are just what sensible adults do and then they put them away and forget about them. They aren't about dire and foreboding stuff. They just wise and may never be used...like fire insurance, (which everyone has.)

[cocobars]

Thanks Luise.  I think you're right about acting as though it doesn't bother me.  It's obvious letting everyone know how I feel is working against me.  I agree wholheartedly about the POA's and hope that when things calm down I will be able to talk to them and get them in an attorney's office with me.  It doesn't mean I'll be driving them around to see EC though.  Yesterday a swung by for lunch and my mother wanted me to take her to meet my LB's wife and EC somewhere.  My father had said he wasn't going.  I told her that I couldn't because I had to get back to the office, but even if it were not during office hours I wasn't willing to contribute.   This was a visit that my father and I both didn't want, and was forced by my SIL stepping into everything and offering.  I told my mother that since SIL took this on, I'm staying out.  What I said was, "this is her deal, not mine, and she will have to do it."  What do you think?  Was I right for taking that stand?  I'm just not sure how to handle all this because I haven't been in this position before of being the only one standing...

[Orly]

Coco,
You stated your pov to your family about the EC, they poo-poo'd your concern.  Not jumping into the visiting schedule of your SIL and EC, is ok from my take on things.  Your "stand", at this point, is a polite way of staying disengaged from the EC. 

[cocobars]

Thank you Orly.  That's how I felt, but am feeling sort of in the outs since I'm the only one with a problem now.

I never know if I'm coming across as unreasonable, but am happy you understood what I was saying...

[Orly]

How's the visit going Coco?  Has EC left yet?

[cocobars]

Hi Orly!

I don't know if she's left or not.  I'm left in the dark now.  Judging by the time of day, I would guess she has left. 

I'm singing, "Ding Dong the witch is Gone!"  Sorry, couldn't help myself!  Shhhh, it's a secret!  Your left hanging devil was good to me!  Thank him for me, will ya!  LOL!

[luise.volta]

LOL!!