I am starting a new thread for Willingtohelp in hopes that we can continue to learn from each other...I don't believe Willingtohelp is a bad DIL, or caused this problem existing between her inlaws and herself.
First, there is no way, on God's green earth I would treat any woman who was at the hospital with my son, the way his parents threated her. They should have been happy he had someone there with him....
there are, unfortunately, a lot of parents, including mothers that are not able to leave they're son's go...it's a shame, but they expect when they're son's marry for things to stay the same, with the exception of now having a Daughter...and it doesn't work like that...change is inevidable and heathy...we cannot expect to run a son's life once they marry...we have no business interferring in they're private lives...yes, it would be so nice to have them be a part of our families...but unfortunately there are some personality conflicts which clash, and not every DIL,MIL relationship is a good one...
I believe in this case...and this is from my heart...Willingtohelp is justified in her feelings about her inlaws...they should have never, ever been that rude to her in the hospital...and/or have done some of the other things they have done.
What they did in the hospital to this woman, I think was more then rude...
Just my feelings...
but I'd surely like it if we could discuss this issue...b/c as much as we ladies have been scarred by our DIL's, there are an awful lot of young women out there who are decent people who have been treated just as badly if not worse, then we have by they're inlaws.
So, what I'm saying is, when a DIL comes into this site...even though we don't always think alike...it's important to remain nutural and kind.....respectful and most of all, try to view it from another point of view and not our own personal experiences...not every DIL out there is like ours...and WillingtoHelp sounds to me like a very wise young woman, whom, we could all learn from, and not your evil DIL that we have been made subjected to...
And Willingtohelp, I'd also like to say welcome, please do come back and share....remember, everyone, written words are never taken in the same way they would be taken if we were sitting across from the person writing and seeing they're expressions and empathy....sincerity sometimes doesn't always come through in written words, and I can definately atest to that...as a lot of times, my words have been taken wrong and completely the opposite of how they were meant.
Also, we may between ourselves, get a little overheated and argue a bit...but I don't believe and maybe I'm wrong, it's a reason to shut down a thread...I think we should be allowed to disagree and post our reasons for feeling as we do...we are bound to become emotionally charged, and I believe that should be allowed in this site, as long as people explain themselves and give they're apologies.
It couldn't have been easy for Willing to Help to come into this site...or any DIL for that matter....so, I ask you all, that when they do...can we drop our own personal experiences and give them the benefit of the doubt...and try to understand and see it from they're point of view and not our personal experiences...you can't dislike all DIL's b/c ours are dysfunctional...right?
What does everyone else think, and please tell me if you think I'm wrong...
I just don't want this site to be a hate site...or have DIL's who really do have problems fear coming in here and posting...deep down, I believe willingtohelp was looking for our feedback and compassion....sometimes, it takes the whole world off your shoulders just to know someone else understands, no matter who you are....
Creme