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adult daughter in an interracial relationship

Started by ruthann, November 28, 2011, 09:26:11 PM

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Pen

November 30, 2011, 07:12:42 AM #30
Tmom, welcome to the site! Excellent first post, BTW.

If you haven't already done so, please take a moment to read the Forum Agreement and How This Happened, both highlighted in pink, under Open Me First on the home page. We ask this of all new members to make sure it's a good fit.

Also, please disregard any spam posts; just ignore them, even if they are offensive. We get hit regularly, but we've got 4 moderators in 4 different time zones doing our best to irradicate them in a timely manner.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

luise.volta

November 30, 2011, 11:39:41 AM #31
What a powerful thread. I sure hope I am wrong about her dad. I would love to be. We all comment from our experience and mine is that when there is a "daddy's little girl" factor...it is often extremely hard for the dad to see any guy as good enough. That's a generalization from my experience. I agree that it is also  about individuals and it can play out in many different ways because of that. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that her dad is the exception to the rule. Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Doe

November 30, 2011, 01:13:21 PM #32
I feel the need to say that I hope the DH/Dad isn't demonized.  Having a prejudice against people with prejudices is just another form of having prejudices, imo. 

luise.volta

November 30, 2011, 04:29:38 PM #33
Good point, Doe.

For me being raised with prejudice was in no way setting my dad up as a demon. It was just difficult to get that Jews, Catholics and Democrats were the demons. as were all union members. His views worked for him and he was fine. When they didn't work for others...it wasn't a stumbling block because there was no room for discussion or other views...only total obedience. We never questioned him because compliance was the norm in those days, (I was born in the the 1920s.)

Sometimes when I voice my thoughts here, my age shows.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

firelight

December 01, 2011, 11:39:04 AM #34
You know, I bailed my daughter and her husband out of many troubles but it did no good.  They are not learning from it.  I used to really bash enablers....until I became the biggest one of all.  It took me a long time to see it but I have finally stopped all that.  I want her to be able to survive without me and I realize I was not "helping" them as I used to think.   
Firelight

"When you allow life to flow... without struggle... your Soul is restored."   ~z2z~

luise.volta

December 01, 2011, 01:13:27 PM #35
Very wise! Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama
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