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No Mother-Son Dance

Started by jkm426, March 01, 2010, 02:14:39 pm

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Pen

The Mother-Son dance was one of the highlights for me in a very stressful situation. I'm so glad we did it, and I'm so happy for you, JK!! Your son is a wonder. I think he'll stick up for you when it gets intense, but he may have to pick his battles. He loves you!

After two years we still haven't been able to see DS & DIL's wedding video. We had to ask over and over again to even see the photos - I'm glad now that I had my own camera there.

DIL's parents pushed hard for this marriage and now shun us. They won't even come over and say 'hello' when we're attending the same event. DS told us not to go to them because it was "their problem, not yours." I read into that, "They'll treat you badly if you go over there and I'm trying to protect you from any more pain." I should have gone over, it's my nature to do the right thing. Next time, if there is a next time, I will. It's so weird.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

2chickiebaby

Penstamen,
I am so sorry.  I am.  I don't understand this and never will.  Someone's Mom and Dad treated like this~! It's very disheartening.

The thing is is that if you say much to him, he will tell her and then the battle will get worse. I hope that's not the case for you but it so often is.  You (We) just have nowhere to take our hearts in these things.  Not even to our son.

It really hurts to see him change.  I know that husbands and wives are a unique team and that's the way it is and should be.  I do not think for one minute, though that their team means they should exclude HIS family.  It is often the case.  This treatment is not reserved for her family. 

Absolutely not fair.

renny97

Chicki,
You said perfectly, what I have experienced and have tried to put into words fifty different ways. We recognize and acknowledge our son's getting married, but none of the same basic principles and courteousy ever apply to the ILs. It IS unfair, and why, we are so ticked off. We know it isn't right. "We aren't supposed to feel slighted by this unfairness."  :(

Just for wanting a picture of an important day in his life, is viewed as a big "injustice" or "interferring." Just a few minutes, is viewed as a intrusion of everyone's time?

I never dreamed this is the life of a son's mother.

Sassy

JKM Good news!  Good for you, good for your son, good for the future, too.

cocobars

Happy news is alway the best!  I believe you have reached a place where your son realizes you are still his mother, and I would believe there were alot of conversations there.  You should be proud of him for standing up for you and wanting "that special dance" with his mother.  It's the most important day in his life and he wanted you to be included!

YAY!  I'm so happy for you, and I'm hugging you! ;D

I hope you're smiling...

2chickiebaby

Isn't she lucky,  Coco?  Gosh, to be able to stand up to his wife to be now!!  That takes courage. 

cocobars

Absolutely,  something to be proud about!  I'm sure you will choose a wonderful song...

I have to go take someone for an errand.  Will be back around 8pm though! 

You ladies hang in!  I love you! :)

Marilyn

JKM,Thats great !!!Now you can have a wonderful time at the wedding.
And you might want to make sure you start your holiday plans,get to-gethers,well in advance.Let your DIL know your not trying to keep her from her family,and will compromise so it works out for everyone.If you don't,your side of the family might end up left out.If it doesn't start out being fair,it's way to hard to get them to give you family time.
Good luck,and keep us posted

cocobars

Wise Women,  gotta love em! ;D

RedRose

Quote from: jkm426 on March 05, 2010, 03:52:36 am
Today I am a proud mother.  My son told me he informed his DF there would be a mother/son dance and wonder of wonders, I get to pick the song.....There is hope for that child after all...
Funny, I know some of theses DIL's will be the mothers of sons and will face the exclusion they try to foist on us.   Karma is a b*ich.


This is wonderful news jkm. I know you will cherish that dance. You son will too.
You have a wise son.   

I remember the song I danced to with my son...Simple Man (Lynyrd Skynyrd).  Funny...the lyrics apply to him NOW too.

2chickiebaby

Rose, that is so sweet just to know you had that dance.  I'm so glad it's in your memory box.  Sweet Treasures Memory Box. :)

Pen

RedRose, I'll have to give it a listen. Our mother-son song was "Have I Told You Lately That I Love You" by Van Morrison (we like it better than the Rod Stewart version, sorry Rod fans!)
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

RedRose

Sweet Treasures Memory Box.....I like that  :)

I used to love that song penstamen !

renny97

March 06, 2010, 07:44:53 am #43 Last Edit: March 06, 2010, 07:47:08 am by renny97
"Wind Beneath My Wings." By Amy? Beautiful song. "Did you ever know that you are my hero?"  :'(

Pen

I'm in tears here! Full-on, mascara running!
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb