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Ann Lander's Survey, Would you have children if you could do it over again?

Started by Prissy, July 19, 2009, 07:36:43 pm

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I've read through these posts, they are all wonderful posts..thank you for sharing...

Yes indeed, I wouldn't have missed it for the world...I lost 3 other children...could not carry, and almost lost my son, therefore, yes indeed, I've have had more children if I could.  Children, to me, are the gift of life, and the gift to procreate is one of the most faniminal experiences...I don't even remember any pain, just the awe of it...a true miracle and gift.



Quote from: Invisible on December 21, 2009, 01:25:37 pm
Isn't the lotus flower supposed to represent "new beginning"?

Geeze, I dunno?  Think maybe if I buy a bunch, I might have another child? LOL


If I knew what I knew today my children would have had a different father,they would have been raised differently and would have married different partners.
In answer to would I have children if I could do it over again    YES    only if I could have done it differently.   NO    if I was still the same it would be the same out come


I also believe they are different than we were at their ages.  It is me, or do they all seem more immature and selfish?  I do not remember ever having problems with my MIL!  I don't remember being selfish, but I must have been to some extent.   I had too much respect for my husband's mother, and I believe she did for me too!  I still remember her telling me what a good mother I was.  I wish she were still here!  I would bet she would have some really good advice for all of us.  I miss her so much- she was my best friend and introduced me to her son, then encouraged him to ask me out...  Oh well.  Nuther 10 years


A lot of people talk about the sense of entitlement young people have today. Kids can be so cruel and snobby, that even "normal" kids get caught up in the need to own expensive stuff so they won't be teased by their peers. It takes parents who are willing to be reasonable and firm about expenses to combat it, and it would be nice if the media didn't glorify rich brats instead of young people who were doing good things for their communities!

When I was in school, a normal kid in a very wealthy district, it was difficult to be teased by the brats. Luckily for me, during the "granola era" it wasn't as cool to be a conspicuous consumer. It was cooler to look raggedy and want to join the Peace Corps. Boy, that sure changed in the last couple of decades!
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb


So right...Pen...I don't know what will happen to our one son's kids....so wealthy, privileged. They have all and more than other kids.  They are precious, though. Extremely polite and great kids.  I don't know what they will do if they ever have a problem, though.

The other son and DIL raise theirs very simply, making them save for what they want.  They are happy.  All of them are happy but the ones raised the simplest are happier, I think.


Ditto Green Eyes~no if it is same hubby same situation~yes if I could change my poor choice for a hubby and do things in a better order~college completed first then hubby then kids when I had grown up a bit. not hubby at age 18,kids at age 19, then college.

I would like some words of wisdom if someone has been through this. I was very close with my older grandson when my daughter left. I told him as he was walking out the door, he was 7, that if I didn't see him it was not because I didn't want to but that I wanted to very much, how much I loved him and to promise me to come and see me when he grew up, I knew it would be the last time I would be able to talk to him for a very long time. I took him to every place I could in that 7 years knowing that someday my daughter would leave, when the money tree dried up. We had so much fun together. My daughter and SIL were so mean to him he was afraid of his own shadow. I was able to get him to do things he was afraid of. I taught him to swim and took him on an open cockpit airplane ride in a restored ww2 plane. He had so much fun. we had great times. Anyways, do you think he will come back and see me? I miss him so much. He will be 13 this year. It has been 5 years since I have seen him. My daughter did let me know when he had an accident so I sent him some ice cream coupons and a get well card. But I doubt she gave him the card and just said the coupons were from her. She did slip in an email once that she didn't want him to see us because he missed us and she didn't want to disappoint him in not being able to see us again.(this when daughter no.2 graduated from college) We have a family tradition that I get my kids new Christmas ornaments each year of a favorite movie or activity or vacation spot or all of them. I started the boys the same thing and when my daughter moved out she forget them so I still buy their ornament every year so when they hopefully come back I will have something to give them so they know I was always thinking of them. I have some other stuff she forgot too. She was more interested in her stuff than theirs. Like they would not have bronzed baby shoes if it wasn't for me.
Thanks for all your thoughts.