A Lot of Heart Ache

[firelight]

I have just stumbled on this website and it couldn't have been at a better time.  I'm really thankful to have found it.  Reading all the posts about problems everyone is having lets me know I am far from alone in my heartbreak with my adult daughter.  This time of year is killing me and I am tearful much of the time, wishing things were the way they used to be, or at least different than they are now.  Funny how I am feeling so very homesick for the good old days.  Wishing my daughter wanted to be around me.  I have a beautiful granddaughter 10 mos old that I am allowed to see but daughter doesn't seem to want much to do with me.  She has had her own issues lately and has made some poor life choices.  I am praying for her continuously and missing her so very much.  Thank you for sharing all your thoughts and I'm really glad I'm not alone because it feels that way most of the time.  The holiday times are so hard to get through with all the pressure and memories of a better day.  I'm hoping to find the joy and trust God that He is in control. 

[sesamejane]

Dear believing,

Welcome dear one.  I am so glad you found this site, and there will be others who will help you through this too.  the holidays can be difficult, but also an opportunity for growth. 

It is a good thing that you have your faith to help you through this, especially at t his time of year.  If you can, capitalize on that for tonight...much love to you...the troups are on the way!

[Doe]

I wonder if these holidays happened in the middle of summer, would people suffer as much?  For some reason, I'm sort of indifferent to the holidays themselves, but have to build myself up against the shorter, darker, colder days. That and for years, the memory of losing my mom and MIL in early Dec.

I've read that most people die in January, and the fewest die in August.  I wonder if people in the Southern Hemisphere have similar experiences?

[JudyJudyJudy]

believingGod,

I am not Catholic but I talked to a Priest about my situation.  He said that when we are down, that Christ comes to us and uses our situation to make us better people.  Personally, I believe that this pain we feel could be coming from our spirit, so even though it hurts like crazy, I believe that God is purging me of any evil I have inside me that I did not know was there.  Basically, God is all I have right now and He is enough and in the end, He will be all there is.

Keep your faith.  Also, remember that the Bible says that if we have faith the size of a mustard seed, we can move a mountain.  Perhaps, someday, we will be called upon to move a mountain...so keep trusting and you cannot go wrong.

[ames849]

I can feel exactly what you feel and hope that you get to see this message.. You took the words right from heart. I just want things to be the way I remember them to be too. Will she at least have a day with you maybe luch or shopping or something so you can try to reconnect?

[Eggshelz1]

Well let me tell you.....I have been through a lot with my DD's and at one point I found myself on the lying on the floor crying out to God for relief cause I thought my heart was going to break in two. My faith sustained me. Patience is hard to do but a lot of 'todays' added up to what this today is, and for me, today is so much better. I have experienced major wonderful moments which came out of nowhere. Boom! Just like that.
Please never give up. And please take care of yourself. That girl of yours still needs you but she is self-absorbed these days. Just be her silent partner for a while?
I think with me I felt that I was getting older and the days of not having a relationship or interaction with my DD's was a 'wasted' day or missed opportunity. NOT SO!
I am not sure how to explain that..........Getting older, with or without that interaction with DD's just means that God had something or someone else in mind for me to focus on or help or be with. I had to trust in His way, not mine.
Hang in there dear.

[firelight]

Thanks to each of you.  All good thoughts.  I am glad to be here and have you for support. 

[dvg]

BelievingGod, sorry you're going through the pain that brings you here, but glad you found this site.  Until I did, thought I was the only one.

Eggshellz, I've been there too, literally crying on the floor, because the pain of my relationship with DD was so great.

Especially this time of year it is so hard... all the images of happy families when the reality for many of us is that there is no pain like the pain caused by families. 

Have to admit that I sometimes pray that if there is reincarnation, please let me not be in a family next time.