June 02, 2023, 10:50:12 PM


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Granchild's birthday

Started by Prissy, July 19, 2009, 10:52:48 AM

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We called, as we always do on one of our grandchild's birthdays. No pickup of the phone. 

We then called son on his cell phone explaining that we wanted the granchild to know we were sending money for him.  He said, "call the house. They are home"

We told him we had called and no anwser.  He had no response.  What should I do?  I know they were home and DIL did not pick up or let him pick up.


Call your son back and ask him to deliver your message and gift. What else can you do?

I have a friend who started a "box" when this happened. She put every card and gift into the box and when her granddaughter became of age, she gave it to her. The gifts were deposited into a saving account for her because actual purchases would have become obsolete over the years. Every card for every occasion had a note in it and pictures to bring the child up to date while imparting a sense of connection without any reference to missing her or finding the situation untenable.

They became friends eventually and her granddaughter deeply appreciated the "relationship in retrospect." I'm not sure all kids would. Some might not be interested. Some might have been brain washed. Some might see it as a parental put-down. Who knows the variations.

It must make you want to take an eraser and go back to before they met. And of course we can't rewrite history. It's his "path."
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama


I wish I didn't know the way she operates but what she does is to say she got our message and was busy and couldn't answer or return the call.  If I called son he would repeat what she said. They got our message.

It doesn't matter anyway.  I don't really know the Grandkids so that's that.  :(


When my son was alive I had open communication with him. I would call and he would swing by my house pick up my granddaughter Birthday gift. They always had a parthy but since his wife did not like me I was not invited.

OK, now my son is dead. I have been told by my DIL I am not allow to give my granddaughter gifts. But I have sent my granddaughter a card for her Birthday with a coupon for a "fun day."  I am not allowed to celebrate holidays with my granddaughter but I took her horse back riding. Once my granddaughter asked me, "What did you give me for my Birthday?" I told her we went horseback riding. She seemed to remember and understand.

I will continue to send cards with "fun day" coupons.

All I can suggest is to do whatever you can to let your grandchild you love and care.