April 20, 2019, 08:09:26 pm

News:

"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


Lonely on Christmas Eve/Day

Started by justanoldgrandma, November 11, 2011, 07:33:11 am

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

justanoldgrandma

I know it would be good for my spirit to go to Christmas Eve/Day services; when at home w parents we didn't do that, but we went to S.School/church every Sunday; I would love to have dh WANT to go to church but although he's a believer he is uncomfortable going and won't go for the holidays and I won't leave him as he'd be alone..... I do plan to take in some church activities like the concerts, etc., bc I miss that.

I am still church hunting (my old church is just not a fit); if I find a friendly church and go by myself on Sundays, perhaps dh will someday accompany me.....and we do need to find friends/people who care for us besides our kids.......

Still talking to dh about his and my Christmas plans as it's just him and me; I am thankful we get along!

colleen01

Hi, I'm just anoldgrandma too!  Just so you know you're not alone, we're in the same boat! As far as churches go I mean.  There's far too many people saying lately that the churches are "snobby".  Or maybe it's always been that way and the older we get, the more we notice because it's so not how it should be!  My husband and I for most of our 21 yrs. of marriage attended church pretty regularly.  It seemed every church had serious dysfunctional people in leadership.  Maybe they were the ones with money.  I know I sound cynical, but we're having the same problem finding a place we're we fit. Kinda like goldilocks. If they're too "polished" and rich, we feel out of place and it doesn't seem humble.  If it's more on the poor side, the teaching is terrible and the pastor isn't educated at all and will accept anything just to have people there.  Just keep looking, but I totally understand your husband not feeling "comfortable". Its very discouraging, and I for one don't have the finances to have expensive clothes and even though I know Jesus doesn't care, I feel insecure around all of the "beautiful" people.

sesamejane

Ugh...I know the feeling.  I went to a church for 10 years for the kids sake - they had a great youth program.  But it was the community's "be there or be square" church.  People were so dressed up, and they prayed for the football team all the time...people dieing in India or the gang activity in town didn't seem to make the prayer list...after the kids left home, I went church hopping and found something I felt more comfortable in.  I tend to enjoy a more liberal church that allows me to think freely and struggle.  I like a messy world I guess.  :-*

Anyway, I have decided that I don't think I am going to go to my relatives for Thanksgiving (I don't know them very well and they live three hours away).  I would have to spend the night there, and I don't think I have the time - and I am just not motivated. Think I am going to cook a turkey and stay home.  :)

My dd and her bf are talking about coming to my house for xmas.  change of plans for them.  I have gotten so used to being alone on xmas that it almost feels like an imposition!  lol

It willl be nice to have them truly...if they come.

Pen

Jane, I have a feeling that in your home the ambience is calm, loving and very special, with or without guests. Your T'day bird will be cooked to perfection, the wine will be fine, your house will be filled with the scents of the season and beautiful candles will add a touch of mystery and wonder. Enjoy!
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Kate123

Sounds pretty nice, can I come there instead of going to FDH's family-

justanoldgrandma

Colleen and Jane, you could be describing the church I just stopped going to!  (I actually got myself taken off the roll bc I was being "instructed" (in a letter!) to do more (go every Sunday, tithe according to a scale sent out.....after years of doing all that!) After son moved away I did get lax but was about to return....but no way would I go back there now!  It's all about money.....even the sermons are full of give and you will get rich themes.  Not much else.)

Anyway, I don't explain to people why I quit going bc I want a church where I feel comfortable and wanted.  I'll find it yet.  There's a lady I can call about going to her church on Sunday..... I want to get into the Christmas spirit.....

Jane, do hope your dd and her bf come on T.Day...... enjoy!  And if they can't come, it sounds like you have a good Thanksgiving by yourself and have done so before.  I need to adopt your "kids aren't coming, but I can still enjoy the holidays" attitude!  Happy Thanksgiving to all!

sesamejane

All are welcome!  ...     ::)    Wouldn't that be fun?   :-*

justanoldgrandma

You betcha!  I'm ready to wash my hair and take off to your house bc I don't know if we're having anyone show up or when..... but I'll keep the happy thought of friends being together in my mind!

sesamejane

The warmest wishes this holiday season coming from my house to yours ... :-*