Sometimes We Cry

[cocobars]

Coco,your story is just heart breaking.Sounds like she has been brain washed for sure.
I don't think you should blame your self,you did what you thought you needed to do.
Have you ever thought about writing her a letter?Maybe one of your twins could give it to her,if she still talks to them.And, do your twins still see their father?maybe they could get him to talk to her.
I think you have a lot of misplaced guilt,they twisted what you said,to work out in their favor.You said your ex husband was very controlling,and he still is controlling the situation.
I pray she will open her eyes,and want you back in her life.
No mother deserves this.

Sending a hug
[/quote
Hi Mominwaiting!

It's funny, but no, I've never thought about writing a letter.  How silly of me.  This is really good advice and I will try it.  If I can write my feelings out, then the girls could take it with them and hopefully get her alone to give it to her.  Isn't it silly how we just don't think of these things in our own situations?  Sometimes it takes someone on the outside to see it...

No, the twins never see their father.  That's another story, but it's their story and their decision. This probably has a shelf life too. LOL!  I wonder what these expiration dates will be?

Thanks so much for extending your thoughts.  I'm going to try the letter.  And, the hugs are always nice too!  I'm sending one back to you!

[RedRose]

I would have done the same as what you have done. Her priorities are just in the wrong place for now. I think maybe a letter from you may help. It should show her how much you still care.

One day she will need you. I know you will be there for her.

Tears are good for your heart. Let them flow.

(( HUGS ))

[cocobars]

Thank you Red.  And I never get too full of hugs either...

[luise.volta]

Pingity, Ping, Ping, Ping!!!

[Pen]

Coco, best wishes. I know you will write a loving letter, full of heart. She'll know, now or later, how much she means to you.

[cocobars]

Thank you Pen!  I'm going to try. 

[thesecondwife]

My own mother would have done and said the same. To me, you did nothing wrong. If it was my daughter, I'd do the same as well.

[cocobars]

Thank you secondwife!

[cocobars]

I felt that Anna!  Yes, I did! 

Thank you!

I'll be working on a letter to send over to her.  I've talked to my twins and they will see she gets it privately.  I hate to put them in that spot, but feel it's something I need to try and was a wonderful suggestion.  If nothing happens it's ok, but I would always wonder if I didn't try this.  Keep me in your prayers.

Oh, and cross your fingers.  They won't be seeing her until later in March.  I have plenty of time to think of what to say.  I'm a little nervous, even if I wont see her in person.  My words will still be there, even if I can't. 

[Invisible]

You are right, sometimes we forget that we are just bones and flesh. We need to say what is important for us to say before we do not have the opportunity.  My son knew without doubt I loved him. It doesn't matter what his wife tells me now. I know what my relationship was with my son. It is not important what she says or tells my GD.

We can not control what other do or say. In fact there is very little in this world we can control. Yes, somethimes we cry. Sometimes we deserve to cry alot. Tears are unspoken words from the heart.

[cocobars]

"Tears are unspoken words from the heart"

Invisible, I'm so happy to see you on here again!  Such wise and comforting words too!  Thank you!

I'm sending you a very big hug!  I hope you can feel it hit you!

[Carolina Gal]

CoCo - I know I am a little late in chiming in - You were absolutely right in your actions.  It is a natural Mother's instinct and please do not ever doubt the rightness in your actions.  I would have and have done similar things in my life.  No regrets
ts please mam.... Again, I really appreciate you guys!

[cocobars]

Thank you Carolina, and thanks for coming through and brightening our day today!

[TSCALES]

Hi Coco:

You story is very heartbreaking and similar to my own. Sometimes I cry too, yet most times I feel angry then depressed. Today, April 30th is my daughter's birthday and also almost a year anniversary of not talking to me. She  married an abusive man who has created a nighmare in my life.  At first, I blamed my big mouth or always trying to tell her not to accept anything less than a Godly husband and father from him.  Shortly, after they married, I cut her off financially because I figured that he needed to get a job and support his family.  To my suprise, my daughter supported him in not working and politely told me that I was not a part of their family decisions.  The next conversation we had involved me telling my daughter to not support her husband when he dishonors his own mother, then to my surprise she stopped all communication with me.  After almost a year of not speaking, my ex-husband called and told me that our daughter was in the hospital giving birth to our grandchild. I called the hospital and my daughter talked to me as if she had been speaking to me the whole time. I found it very bizarre and played along with it so that he would not get upset. Perhaps at this point, I should give a little background.  When my daugher turned ten years old, I divorced her abusive and cheating father. I also finished college that year and began working for a profitable company which provided my daughter and I a very nice lifestyle.  I sent her to college and paid for most of it by myself. I bought cars, spent money on weddings and helped with the first grandchild. I also provided physical, mental and spritual support until she married my son in law from a different world. Now, on this day-her birthday- here we are not close at all. I became the bigger person and sent her a birthday gift plus called her today. He"husband" answered the phone" and said just a minute and gave the phone to her with even acknowledging me- She happily said thanks for calling her and that she would get back to me. Hours have past by and believe me I am not waiting on that call. I went to the park to walk and vent, which helped tremendously. I priayed that God would give me strength to just move on with my life and pray for them daily. I pray that God will protect my daughter and grandchildren and hopefully they are not being abused physically or mentally. I also pray that if this is something that my daughter accepts and wants in her life that I am able to live with it and move on in peace and harmony. I pray that one day my grandchildren will know that they have a loving grandmother who constantly stay in prayer for them. I also pray that God gives me strength daily to press on to the higher mark of His calling. At this point, I am thinking about starting over and maybe becoming a foster parent to a very deserving child that will allow me to share my love and compassion until God brings me home.

Thanks so much sharing your story and allowing me to vent!

May God continue to Bless everyone on this site with similar stories that make them cry!

[luise.volta]

Sharing pain and sending love. Not up for writing much (it's one of those meltdown days,) but I do care...