March 28, 2024, 03:21:54 AM

News:

"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


Thinking "control" is love

Started by 2chickiebaby, October 29, 2009, 09:53:48 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

cocobars

February 12, 2010, 12:53:04 PM #30 Last Edit: February 12, 2010, 01:23:59 PM by cocobars
I've learned to take Dr. Phil in a very general way, and agree that everyone is different and every situation is not going to be the same.  If all situations were like the example Dr. Phil portrays, we wouldn't have ANY DIL's here on this site with us at all.  The hate sites would be correct in assuming all women get to be a particular age and then just go crazy!  If that were true, then have any of the DIL's who frequent that site thought for a moment about what's in store for them too?

I think Dr. Phil "shops" for shows and I realize that's my own opinion.  I used to be an avid fan, but started noticing that he started to be a calm version of Jerry Springer to me after awhile.  He still has something to offer as long as I remind myself that he simply shops for what will keep his ratings up.  I have to pick the meaningful things out of the barrel.  He has the scenario planned out before the camera's start rolling.  It's the ratings that count..

Hate just makes people ugly and it doesn't seem to matter which angle I look at it, having hate in your heart just makes you a bitter, jealous, nasty person.  What you hold in your heart has a way of making it to your physical appearance too.  Have you ever noticed that about someone you've known who has hate in their heart?  The jails are full of people who have let hate take over their thoughts.  It's just what I think.  It's what hate does to people.  It's so effortless to give into.  Love and understanding are much more work.

I do believe you can change situations, but not all of them.  Sometimes after weighing all the positives and negatives, all you have left is to give up and change your focus to other directions.  That is "changing" the situation.  Your focus isn't on that "hurt" anymore, and sometimes when you consciously decide to look for happiness, around the next corner you find it, just by looking in other directions which are more loving and compassionate.  The returns are alot more fun, and before I know it, that "thing" doesn't seem that important to me anymore.  My situation has changed simply because I chose not to concentrate on it anymore and forced myself to take my thoughts in a new direction.  It doesn't always work, but most of the time...

I feel so helpless sometimes, listening to the stories and all the hurt here.  Like Luise said, if I just had a magic wand I would ping us all better!  Now who's first?  Luise, do you have your wand?