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"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?

Started by cremebrulee, February 09, 2010, 04:34:39 AM

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luise.volta

C - Thanks so much and I will post and celebrate with my e-family, too! ;D
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

cocobars

Don't post too much.  You enjoy your son while you have him there!  We'll be here when the visit is over! 

Just send us a smile occasionally!  Because we all know you will be! ;D

luise.volta

March 02, 2010, 06:11:34 PM #17 Last Edit: March 02, 2010, 07:32:21 PM by luise.volta
Well, he's staying for a month! (Some birthday party, right?) And I'm not ever going to get out of touch like I did with that fracture! When I came back...people were saying...who's Luise?!   ;D
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

cocobars

Really?  That's awful.  Please keep coming through and talking to us.  We need you here Luise and I really would have missed you.  Besides I need someone to calm me down :)

luise.volta

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

jkm426

OOO....I'll play....I have learned....
I am in charge of my happiness
No one can stop me from singing
Being happy is the best revenge
My experiences can make me bitter or better.  I choose better


2chickiebaby

I have learned that I have many things to learn.

I have learned that an angel is sent to us in the form of a person many times if we'll just look around.  My 87 year old friend who walks 7 miles a day, is in perfect health, has a wonderful, positive attitude and is kind and loving is all I need sometimes to help me understand.

I have learned that I need to learn more.



2chickiebaby

Coco, we don't want your sweet lips sealed!!!  You're one of our angels :)

luise.volta

I have learned that "not knowing" is the highest form of intelligence because that leaves room to learn.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

cremebrulee

I have learned, that when our son's marry, we need to let go and give them room to start they're new married lives together and by all means, not interfer.  I have learned that our son's are no longer children, and need quality time and space to set up they're own rules, boundaries and housekeeping.  I have learned that I cannot expect my son to be who he used to be, and regard him as an adult...I have learned that no matter how hard it is to do so, sometimes the greatest gift you can give someone you love it to let them go.

I have learned that I should never make a surprise visit to my son's home...
I have learned that his home, is also her home, who is a totally different individual then I am, with different ideas and how to do things....
She is a human being...who deserves to be treated with respect...and I have no business expecting them to continue to carry on my traditions, but more so, they need to start they're own...
I have learned, because I remember, I to, was a DIL once, myself...and I remember what drove me literally nuts...I was an adult, ready to start my own family traditions, yet, had to adhear to my MIL's way of doing things, and that was so unfair....she called at all times of the night and morning, and visited without calling first...my parents also did the same thing which was so rude...I hated surprise visits...especially when I worked all week.

Once my parents bought up a huge birthday cake for me, for my birthday, without calling first, and my husband had already bought a cake and planned a dinner out...but my parents stayed...Sheeesh??????  Quite honestly, I would have so enjoyed nothing better then a nice romantic dinner out with my husband....




RedRose

I've learned that there are other women who have the same feelings I have about my dil...and chose to go along with almost anything she wants in order to have peace in my family and time with my grandchild.

I've learned that my son did the same as I have...In order to avoid confrontation with his wife and keep the peace with her...and hold his family together.

I know not all dil's are like mine...and I always looked forward to their opinions here.

Now that my son has filed for divorce I will continue to come here because my dil (X-dil) will always be my grandsons mother...It is not over.


2chickiebaby

Dear Rose,
I'm sorry your son is going through a divorce.  I know that can't be easy for him or for his wife.  I am glad to know that at least he is aware of how you were treated by her.  It hurts to the core and those of us who have been there, know it.

I feel bad for the kids too.

Don't ever leave us!!! We love you here.  :)

RedRose

I won't leave...I need everybody here.

If I'm not here as often as before it's just because I'm busy.

luise.volta

You have a beautiful heart. We are all with you on this. Pings to you!
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama