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Invisible's Strength Post

Started by cocobars, February 05, 2010, 08:12:55 am

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March 11, 2010, 12:15:56 pm #30 Last Edit: March 11, 2010, 03:01:08 pm by cocobars
Invisible,  I agree with your statement, "The only thing we can be assured of in life's journey is change." Sometimes that "change" is unexpected and devastating, like your sons passing, but I truly believe a statement Luise put into words a week or two ago, "from these dark places, miracles are born."  I also see something very symbolic in the caterpillar's emergence from dark cocoons, transformed as butterflies, flying away into an expansion of their previous lives, beautifully recreated from that darkness!  I believe Luise and I found different ways of saying the same thing.  I think you are in that darkness and I have so many hopes for you!  You are taking each day as you can at your own pace, even if you don't see that yet.  I certainly understand feeling as if your GD died on that motorcycle with your son and agree with you that right now those feelings are valid.  The thought of what you are feeling makes me want to hug you even more and keep you very close.

You're right, there may be nothing you can do to help your GC, but that doesn't mean you have to go on that motorcycle ride too?  The fact that you say you are getting out of bed and taking a walk is a step.  One to be personally proud of and I hope that precludes other steps toward seeing you smiling again.  But, if you can find the energy to take a walk, then maybe you can call a counselor or mental health center for counseling?  Many of the centers will take people on a sliding scale, which means, if you are unemployed - FREE!  I have done it before and found the support through counselling was much better than anything else.  I hope you do because you need so much support right now and I know in my heart that you have the strength it takes to be happy again!  All it takes is one phone call, one day, and only when you feel you have the strength to make a call...

I agree with you (and hope I don't get in trouble for saying this), but sometimes we have to give up on these situations and people who are hurting us so deeply.  I believe you are faced with so much right now that the hatred you are enduring may be too much.  Only you know that for sure, and you are the only one who knows if it's time to say it's enough, or if you have the strength to continue, but sometimes I've found I've had to say "enough" too!  Whatever you are feeling, we are still here for you and you are loved and thought of every day of your life! This is unconditional!  I believe you are a hero, not matter what you decide, simply because surviving what you have so far, makes you this person!

  I pray that you find the strength you need to be happy again and emerge from this dark place as the beautiful soul I have seen!  You have a lot to give the world.  I know I'm a dreamer, but I hope someday you will believe in miracles to and dream again too (and join me -LOL)!  I wish you could see yourself through my eyes.  In the meantime, I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers - and I will still be here waiting for the day you come through and change your name to the name Mominwaiting gave you.  One we have all repeated since she named you - "Incredible," because I think I'll know then that you are starting to fly!
Hugging you tight, Invisible!  We are here for you!   

Please don't give up on yourself.  You are stronger than you think and have already survived so much!  I think good things are waiting for you!


March 11, 2010, 02:16:35 pm #31 Last Edit: March 11, 2010, 02:24:41 pm by RedRose
Invisible...Your health has to be number 1 right now. Get yourself feeling better.  Seek help from a doctor...it is their job to help when we are feeling down.
Your situation is so upsetting. When children repeat cruel words that we know they are only repeating ... it still hurts.
I know you are feeling so helpless right now..but, YOU are a strong and wise lady. You can make good things happen in your life again because YOU want them to.. YOU need them too.
We are all here for you. (((Hugs)))

Momma Cat

Oh, my heart breaks for you!.  I'm new here, so I'm still wet behind the ears.  You have been through so much and have suffered so.  Please take care of youself.  Red gave you some excellent advice.  Your main concern now should be for yourself and your physical and mental health.   You deserve to be happy and you really can be again.   Depression can make you feel like you're stuck in quicksand, but you're already taking steps out of it like taking your walks.  Just take a few more and, like Coco said, you will become Invincable.  Big hugs sent your way,  Momma


Momma Cat,  I don't think you're wet behind the ears at all!  When you came through the door, you shared your own personal heartache with us!  You were very brave and came back to share your support as well!

I hope you have the time to read invisible's entire post.  She really is an incredible woman and I hope she gets the support she needs to "open that cuccoon and fly!"  I'm happy you're here Momma Cat!


Invisible,hope your having a better day.
Please dont stay gone for more than a day.
We want you to feel our love and support every day.

Sending love and a hug


I want to thank everyone for their continued emotional support. Life is full of hills and valleys. Losing my only child ...took the wind out of my sails. Compound my pain and sorrow with a DIL from hell. No, life isn't fair. Thanks again.


Invisible,thanks for posting,we worry so much about you.

Have you thought any more about going to see a Dr.?Like i said,I was very reluctant also,But so glad i finally did.You will be amazed at the compassion they will have for you.

Please,please,just make that one phone call.

Can i get you to promise me you will call?


I'm just so happy to see you here!  We really miss you incredible!


"You deserve to be happy and you really can be again."  I agree with Momma Cat.

Life will get better for you Invisible. ((hugs))


To the woman who feels invisible,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,but is actually incredible and invincable,
Sounds silly, but would you please cross your arms across your chest and hug yourself?  It is really from me, but since I can't physically do it, can you help me out?  When I went through my most painful time in my life, I would do that when I went to bed and it really was comforting.  I believe that hugs will help you through this along with counseling.  I see a lot of wisdom in MIW's counseling suggestion (as well as many of our other friends).  I can't begin to know the pain you are feeling - it would be incredibly unbearable.  I wouldn't expect anyone to go through that without professional help.  I agree with you - life is not fair.  Life is a mystery, but I think you have smiles and sunshine in your future. 
Don't forget to wrap yourself with my hug, please.
Love you, Hope


What beautiful advice, Hope!  I'm going to try that sometime too!  I hope you don't mind...


Quote from: cocobars on March 14, 2010, 12:33:29 pm
What beautiful advice, Hope!  I'm going to try that sometime too!  I hope you don't mind...

When you do, please give yourself a hug from me, too!  Thanks for all your support, Coco.


we're all huggin you invisible, and we continually keep you in our thoughts and prayers....please feel the strength coming from all of us here....



I agree Invisible - I mean INCREDIBLE!  Keep your chin and take care of "you!"  Don't worry about moving slowly or not even feeling like you're getting anywhere at all.  I went through a period like this and understand where you're at.  Of course it didn't include losing my son and GC, but what I can say about it is that I felt I wasn't going anywhere at all for the longest time.  It felt like I was taking 3 or 4 steps back for each one I took, and I know this sound like a long time, but after about a year and a half I looked back and realized I had gotten somewhere.  I wasn't feeling good, but I was better than I was and saw little things that I was interested in again.  That was a big turning point for me, just to realize that I was better.  It's been very slow, for me.  Just be very easy and understanding on yourself and your progress.  Nobody says you have to get over it fast, and maybe not at all.  I just believe there is a butterfly in you too, I really see that!  Even if you don't right now.

The women here are thinking about you and loving you from a distance maybe, but we are here for you!  I hope you will come back through and gather what strength we can offer up to you!  You have an intelligent and beautiful heart and you are very deserving of all the love we want to give you!  I hope you can hang on to that and know we are at your back and on your sides, loving you!


 Hope you are feeling better soon! 
    You are not alone here.  We care.  ?