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What to do if we find ourselves and our stories being discussed on another site

Started by 2chickiebaby, February 05, 2010, 05:03:56 AM

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2chickiebaby

Luise,
I wish you would help us here.  Some of the DILs on another site visit here and one of them thinks they have found out who we are and are taking our stories to our DILs.

What should we do?  We don't have "nuts" and "resident psychologists" on here. 

They are hoping to get on here and tell us off....here, I'll be called a "pathetic nutcase" or whatever I'm called there....I don't care but to take our stories to the DILs just because you "think" you know who we are is unconscionable. 

Luise? 


cremebrulee

chickie, it's like your adicted to those sites...stay away from them....you have a home here, you don't need to be going in those other sites which makes you feel worse...let them alone, they are they're own worst enemy.....so what, we're discussing them here, be they are DIL's or DIL's just like ours....Don't feed into it...let them to they're own self distruction...you know they're wrong, and they will take everything we say out of context to justify they're own  choices....Chickie, how many DIL's have already come into the site, looking for help, saying they don't agree with the one sided hate sites...so there ya go....and remember this, there are millions of people on the web...from all over the world, and you are going to read parallal stories that may seem like they're talking about one of us, but are not...however, even if they are, so what?  who cares...really....?  Stay here with us, and don't go in there until you can feel like it won't upset you...you have a home and a family here...to heck with them...they are very troubled and will some day reap what they've sewn....

and so what if they do come on and tell us off...yanno what, they're just be proving our point if they do?  Someone who comes in here all puffed up and verbally attacks, simply shows they're intent and they're hearts...so, let them make fools of themselves...not to mention....Administrator and Luise wouldn't let that happen for to long, and remember, they're just words...they are driven by hate, and sticks and stones remember?  Just words chickie...

We have DIL's here who are intellegent, understanding and compassionate young women, and I know we're all very proud of them, and love them very much....be thankful for them...and to heck with the ugly hearted ones...let em alone...

big hugs
Love ya
Creme

2chickiebaby

It's not me they are getting specific about.  One has been tipped off by something specific said here.   I'm not leaving.

Luise? 

cocobars

Well then I hope it's me.  Nobody can do any more damage than has already been done. 

Creme's right.  This is a "world wide web" forum.  Anyone can come through the door - even if they leave limping....

cremebrulee

I thought of something else...if what we say annoys them that much, then, it's guilt, cuz if they were mature, intellectual and secure with who they are, they wouldn't be taking anything we say, as a personal attack against them....
yanno...

Hugs

cremebrulee

Quote from: cocobars on February 05, 2010, 05:19:53 AM
Well then I hope it's me.  Nobody can do any more damage than has already been done. 

Creme's right.  This is a "world wide web" forum.  Anyone can come through the door - even if they leave limping....

LOL, I agree, Good Morning Coco


2chickiebaby

But they've already contacted the DIL. I don't think they've been able to get in contact with her yet, though.

  If that is okay for the rest of you then so be it. 


cocobars

Here here, Creme.  They are coming out of rage from insecurity if that's the case. We literally "roll out the red carpet" for women who come in here be they DIL or MIL.  We go out of our way to understand them and their points of view. 

I think they're dreaming if they thought they could gang up on anyone here and do such things.  We are here posting our hearts away with hurt feelings and we still understand them.  We make ourselves understand because there is always that chance that we can help them AND us in that process. 

I wouldn't worry about them.  I don't even look there anymore.  You gain nothing but more hurt by internalizing their hate.

Chickie, you are just too sweet, and I mean this.  People here love you and this just "aint" gonna happen! :-\

cremebrulee

I went over to check, I'm called the resident psyciatrist...narcissist...etc....I made a typo, a few days ago, while explaining a story and wrote my husband's wife, meaning, my son's wife...and apparently they said I went all ballistic when one of them called me on it...

Yanno what...I feel very sorry for them...and Chickie was right...they did come in here under an assumed name and try to push our buttons...so what?  So What...?  I really feel sorry for them, that they have that much hate in them...as I said before, we have DIL's right here, who are decent loving wives, and human beings...those who come over here to take stories back and embellish them, first, have not much else to do with they're time, and 2nd, if you read they're stories, they are embellished.

for instance...they speak of me talking about my DIL staying at home and sitting on her butt...and they start to talk about how a Stay At Home Mom is a full time Job...I totally agree with that, it is...however, when your running up the charges, and spending more money then your husband makes, that is wrong...and they neglected to say, that my son was working 3 jobs and now has deployed in another country due to these expenditures of expensive taste. 

If your a stay at home mom, and you do all the housework, run the kids around, cook, clean, do laundry, etc...then your doing your share...but when I see my son, have to iron his own uniforms, do his own laundry, do the grocery shopping, clean, and he's working 3 jobs...that is so wrong...now, your using your husband, adding insult to injury, using him for a free ride, b/c you need to purchase, Neman Marcus/Nordstom clothing,  make up....so she buys it on sale, yeah right, it's still much more then most other stores...on sale, sheeesh?  Then we need to buy all Gymboree children's clothes....and your husband is only making so much...so yeah, a stay at home mom has a huge job, and a full time job...however...she does what she can to help her husband out, and that does not entail, making him to housework, shopping or chores after he's been working 3 other jobs...

I was a stay at home mom once to, but all the shopping and housework was done, my husband's shirts were ironed, laundry was done and folded and put away...trash was taken out...and the meal was on the table...when my husband came home from work...which I'm sure most stay at home mom's do...

however, there are those that do not...and continually run the charges up and refuse to meet they're husband's half way, and feel, it's they're husband's job to take care of them and make them happy...it is not...if they are not already happy, they will never be happy, and it's no one's job to make anyone happy but yourself...

So, ignore what they say, they come here and read and tell half truths...and if they wish to call me resident anything, it's a free world...Chickie...
and it doesn't bother me in the least...hey, actually, it's a pretty nice compliment, if you ask me.

Ignore them hun, they only want to bring harm to others....not harmony...

cremebrulee

Quote from: 2chickiebaby on February 05, 2010, 05:23:30 AM
But they've already contacted the DIL. I don't think they've been able to get in contact with her yet, though.

  If that is okay for the rest of you then so be it.

Chickie, so be it...let them....like I said so many times before, I don't care...I don't....I have nothing left to loose....and yes, they are talking about me...and it just may be my DIL...I don't care..., I really don't. 

RedRose

Well, I'll tell you what, it makes me want to be very caucious of what I say here. And, if somebody here thought I was being talked about there, I would want to know about it. I would like to make my own decisions about what to do or not to do about it.

cremebrulee

Quote from: RedRose on February 05, 2010, 05:59:42 AM
Well, I'll tell you what, it makes me want to be very caucious of what I say here. And, if somebody here thought I was being talked about there, I would want to know about it. I would like to make my own decisions about what to do or not to do about it.

They're talking about me Red Rose...

and I agree with you, however, they're are some ladies in here who are very sensitive and might take they're words to heart...they don't need to be hurt any more....

These young DIL's don't care how they drive and torture other women with words, and sometimes, that might really send someone into depression....and that is what I'm worried about...they can say what they want to say about me...I'd rather they did talk about me, then, they're not hurting anyone else, however, they're words might hurt someone here, terrible...and I don't want to see that happen to anyone...we've all dealt with more then our share....yanno....does that make any sense?

and something else...one of those DIL's said she was a friend of my DIL...and she cannot wait to tell her I'm here....and point her to this forum....well, that is not a friend...that is another very hateful women who wants to hurt and cause trouble....

I've often said, I don't care if my DIL reads what I write, b/c she has said and done very hateful thing to me....what I've written is the God's truth...the only difference between her and me, is, I don't go to church and I don't make a living out of hurting people b/c I'm jealous and insecure or would have ever used my son against my MIL...just to get even b/c I misunderstood her intentions...and thank God I didn't, b/c I would have never been able to live it.


cocobars

OK, go to the top of the Home page and click on "Profile."

Then click on "Modify Profile" (located next to the orange button called "Profile Information."
there will be a drop down screen when you hold your browser on this. 

From that list, click on Notifications
This brings a screen up with choices of notifications that will be sent directly to your email in-box.

You can be instantly notified if someone replies to your posts.

Click on "instant" (top box)
click on "replies and moderation" (bottom box)
Last step - Hit the "Save" button

What this will do is alert you if the forum moderator is called in on any post you have been replying to. Correct me if I'm wrong here, Luise. By having this setting chosen to notify us, we will ALL be notified when or if only one of us is here.  If anyone comes in here and goes after one of our own,  they can see everyone else come in for the conversation as well.  If the moderator is notified, we will all be notified as well...

I don't think we'll have that problem, but that's something we can do.  Also, who's to say (if that does happen) you can't just sit and wait for "The Moderator" to knock them off.  Of course I hope they practice their limp! ;D

That's only one thing.  We can think of others.  As far as alerting one of the DIL's on this site?  That's their own karma they are playing with, and karma is a b****! ;)