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What to do if we find ourselves and our stories being discussed on another site

Started by 2chickiebaby, February 05, 2010, 05:03:56 AM

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0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

renny97

I went ahead and agreed to being notified of new posts, but I see it exposes our email address? Is that visible to all? I saw someone else's email address. I may undo notification, if email is public.

cocobars

Hmmmm.  Good question.  I'll go back and check too!  I had not noticed that...

cocobars

That's actually under account settings and is part of your "public profile."  You can edit that information out if you don't want it out there.  It is in a different section though, so the notification should be different.

Go to "Profile"
Then to "Modify Profile".
Then "Account Settings" under that.

Make sure the box titled "Allow users to email me" is not checked.  If it is, uncheck it.

I didn't really worry about my email address being out there, so you could have seen my address.  I understand someone not wanting that information out there though.  Check after you do that and you should see a difference..

Again Luise, please have your worthy wedmaster check my instructions and let us know if I'm mistaken.  I don't want to be giving out false advice here!

cocobars

Hey everyone!  Don't follow the instructions I put here just yet.  I was really stupid in assuming those functions and don't want to mislead anyone here.  I certainly don't want to lead anyone into putting personal information out for anyone...

I've sent a PM to the forum moderator asking if they will check to make sure these are correct.

I'm sorry.  Hopefully we'll find out!

luise.volta

Well, let's see...several thoughts are swimming around...

I don't know the software very well. I'm still learning. I do know that if you say something that you feel is too personal and you want it taken off, there is a way I can make the subject go away. I think I need to learn that trick about being notified if a person responds to me because I miss some.

And, as you all know, I can make anyone we don't want here...go away. I go "Pop!" (That's very different from my "Pings.")  ;D ;D

I will repeat myself regarding staying away from hate sites and bringing them up here. That gives them power. Why would anyone want to do that? Let them attack whomever they wish. If we don't read it, they have failed.

If it is torture to read those sites...vote for self-love and don't do it. Let go of curiosity and a "fatal attraction" to how awful it is. Why do anything that makes life worse and/or harder and feeds fear, rage and/or victimism?

A commitment to a deep healing within precludes self-torture to my way of thinking. What I am learning to do on this site and in my day-to-day life is to love myself and I am finding that I love others better when I come from that place. I honestly don't think reading hate sites is an act of self-love. 

As usual, that's just about me and we're all different...so I can't speak for anyone else. I do love YOU!
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

2chickiebaby

I love you too, Luise....I'm so sorry I went there and won't again.  Too hard on all of us. I'm glad we are an all inclusive site where all are welcome.  It makes me proud. :)

luise.volta

Whew! Glad you're through that knot-hole!  Hugs!! And Ping...Ping...Ping! ;D
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

cocobars

Oh!  Now I have long flowing blonde hair!  Thank you fairy godmother!    Hey where did she go??? ;) ::) :-*

Thanks for looking in on these instructions.  Please ask the worthy webmaster if they will check to see if I read the software right?  This would be great if it worked this way!!!

renny97

I removed my post that I felt had too many details, and it was quoted in someone else's post. Can that be removed?

Marilyn

Hey everybody,i found a really good web site....wikihow........Articles.......How to recognize a manipulative or controlling relationship........How to deal with Difficult relatives......gain control of your emotions.....how to deal with emotional abuse.

If some of our DIL's are lurking,maybe these articles can open their eyes and help them.I'm sure some of their MIL's are just as controlling as our DIL's and that can help them also.

Also I have an excellent idea,i just would be to afraid to post it on here.

cocobars

Quote from: renny97 on February 05, 2010, 09:20:46 PM
I removed my post that I felt had too many details, and it was quoted in someone else's post. Can that be removed?
Renny, your email address is safe.  I went out and back in again.  Your email address is only visible to you, but it is not visible to anyone else.  When I am signed on, my email address shows up on my profile (but only mine). When I sign off, and come through as a guest, it does not show at all.  I checked this with mine (since I really dont care) and also with others.  Your age will show, but you can leave that blank if you don't want to give that out...

As far as erasing the post you're talking about, was I the one who quoted you?  If so, I can just go back in and edit that out...

renny97

Coco,
I am not sure. It was regarding the DILs packing up baby to travel to mother's when the baby was newborn. [Avoidance]

cocobars

Renny, if you can find that post, make a note of the folder it's in from the main menu (most likely SIL/DIL) and then the title, and the post number.  I'll look through too.  Then we can notify whomever quoted and ask them to remove the quote.

I don't believe you have anything to worry about though.  Do you know how many MIL's out there have the exact same, or similar situations as us (this is the www. (word wide web), in the world?  To be conservative, I would just hold back on location, age, and email address.  Luise has already taken care of the email privacy, so even that shouldn't be a concern (I've checked, and although we can send emails, we don't "get" the address they are sent to).

We can't get paranoid and let that DIL site run what we do here.  Otherwise, where would we really find support for al of us!   We can be careful, but don't let them hold your story or your concerns back.  You can always be vague about timeframes also.  That should do it.  If you real name is Renny, then you can go back into your profile and change that too!  I changed my profile for a couple of weeks until it looked like it does now!

If you look at Luise's other site "momresponds.com"  her son (our worthy webmaster here also) made a statement there that our email addresses are held privately and our names and those addresses are not given out.  Even if she posts your story, you name will be changed.  You can go to "Open Me First" here and check the first two folders.  You should see that the same thing applies on this site also.  Hence, "worthy." :)

No worries, everyone is safe. Just because I'm not worried about my info, doesn't mean I do not understand that concern.  All that means is that I feel I have nothing left to lose.  I absolutely agree that others do and I UNDERSTAND!  I know most of us here do still.  I've looked around on both sites quite a bit.  I wouldn't be here if I didn't feel that way or trust them both enough to "not be worried, because even though "I" think I have nothing to lose, doesn't mean I've considered "everything."

That's just me.  I know everyone here feels differently, but I check first - join later (and I am a "client" just like you and get nothing -NADA- for saying this).  I'm on here alot, but I do not run this site!  This is Luise and 2Chickiebaby's site...

renny97

Thanks Coco,
I appreciate you looking into it. I am not an evasive person, and these are real emotions. But, this is a different media. There are many, who would manipulate vulnerable souls (reason many of us are here). And, to receive further trauma, would be sad.


cocobars

I understand that Renny.  Really I do.  That's why I'm spending so much time looking into your concerns.  Your concerns are parallel to so many others here...  Look at what Chickie is going through.  Fear can get the "best" of all of us.  We just have to be careful, and realistic. :(

I modified my very last post on here after checking on this issue some more.  I hope it helps!