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not coping very well need some tlc

Started by farrelly80, September 15, 2011, 12:00:12 PM

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orphanedmominmn

What a rollercoaster ride -- even just reading the posts. I am so sorry you are having to go through this. My prayers are with you that it is resolved quickly and you'll be holding your new granddaughter very, very soon!

farrelly80

Hi all
well still no contact and not feeling that great. Cant believe how cruel this is. Keep hoping and praying but will have to try and resign myself to the fact that my DS will not be in touch. Six months since we saw our beloved GS and the hurt is still as bad. Have no idea what the new baby looks like. I really am trying not to think about it constantly but it is all consuming. I do things to keep busy, go out with DH and friends and have had some great times lately. I just want to feel content in myself, not constantly wondering if he will contact us. Does this pain ever go away. I go from angry to sad to resigned back to angry, its burning a hole inside me. really really cannot think that DS is happy with this situation. But he must be, otherwise he would come to see us.
Sorry, sorry just needed to vent, rant, cry, I know you wonderful ladies out there in cyberspace will empathise with me and let me get it out. I know what to do to help get through it, its just hard today. Wouldnt it be great if you could switch off your thoughts at the touch of a button and not have it all swirling around inside constantly.
Actually feel a tad better thats off my chest
Thankyou
F xx

Nana

Dear Farrell

Yes all  pain goes away sometimes it takes longer because we dont let go so easily.  And that is only normal, how can we let go of dreams, expectations and family.  Its a tough one. 

Hope things turn around....they do many times.  Dont lose hope...but in the mean time, let go...as Luise said "We had a life before our children"so come on lets rescue it.  I would add, we were someone elses kid also....we as they, deserve a good life.

Please keep posting and vent any time you need, we are all for you.

Love
Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove:
Shakespeare

lancaster lady

Dear Farell .....:I hear and feel your pain in your words ...try not to let this sadness envelope you completely .Have you sent a gift for the newborn to let them know you care ? If was me I would , this.baby is your gc and of course you care , just to let them know you love her ......sending hugs.

Pooh

I hope today is better farrelly.  You know we all need to vent and release sometimes.  You got this.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Pen

Farrelly, thinking of you. Please take care of yourself, do something nurturing and fun.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

themuffin

Hi Farley,
   

    I just wanted to send you a cyber hug.  I know none us ever imagined when we became mommies that some day we would end up here. It's baffling to the mind to wonder how the ones we loved so much are the ones who are hurting us.  You wonder how they can be so cruel when we've done nothing but love them, perhaps not perfectly, but loved them none the less. 

  I don't know if I agree that the pain you feel will eventually go away.  I think that you may always feel some pain.  Mothers are like that.  But I do think that it will lessen and become tolerable in time.  My son and I are on speaking terms.  However, we rarely speak and we rarely see him (I send him a text a couple of times a month and maybe he'll stop by now and then to get his mail).  He and FDIL just moved into a new apartment not far from us.  We don't exactly where.  Haven't seen it and suppose we never will.  We were also told that FDIL is pregnant and it may be twins.  I don't imagine I will have a relationship with these babies if that is true.  It tugs at my heart at times, but I don't dwell on it.  DS is alive and well and happy, I think.  That will have to be enough for me.  I'm alive and well and happy.  You need to be happy.

Sending hugs

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farrelly80

Thankyou all for your kind words. Yes I know the pain will be always there but I hope it may lessen with time. Never thought my life with DS would turn out like this. I am so gateful for this site, its a Godsend to all us mums in the same or similar situation. Sending hugs and love to all and thanks again, its like a pressure cooker of emotion that builds up and has to be let out, and its safe to do it here and not with the ones who are the cause.
xxx