Has Been Stripper

[Pen]

I don't have a problem with it either. If you have a problem with your profession, you need to figure it out no matter what profession you're in.

Link to the wiki about "right livelihood." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noble_Eightfold_Path Scroll down about halfway to the "right livelihood" subhead.

[Kate123]

WRBIC I am sorry that you fell into a career that hurt you. Pardon me if I go off the deep end here but I am so tired of the way women are treated. The problem is not within you so don't take the blame. It is our society that has pushed women to make us feel like we need to be sexual objects. We are made to feel that if we are not attracting men then we are not valued. I noticed last week some of the highly paid women on CNBC were wearing sleeveless,  low cut, super tight dresses; hello- this is New York in November- the men are wearing grey suits and high collared shirts with ties! Why do the women feel the need to show skin rather than be warm and the men do not?
But back to the point,  strip clubs, I blame men, not women, for their existence. I hate what it does to women from every aspect. It is not you who should be ashamed, you were young and did not realize how what you were doing might affect you, it is the men who give those places business that should be ashamed of using women in that way. I guess I am a bit old fashioned, that plus the sexual abuse I experienced myself might make me sensitive to issues that hurt women.
It was a lesson learned for you, we've all been there one way or another. Just learn from it and move on, dress respectfully, act respectfully, be respectful of yourself.
As for your husband, not sure you should keep him, if he loved you he would not hurt you in any way. Wishing you a better future, and like the other said -put the past behind you.

[pam1]

Amen Kate!

What burns me the most is that healthcare is not offered to women in this profession. 

[forever spring]

I have seen interviews of former Playboy bunnies and they had a whale of a time when they worked in the club and moved on to professions later when they got older. There is no shame in all of this. I agree that if men weren't what they are these clubs would not exist but why not celebrate a beautiful body when it's been given to you.. Yes it is a celebration, not a shame.
One of the things I regret in my life that I wasn't more confident of my good looks when I was young. I always felt too fat ugly etc. and now at 61 when I look at pictures of me in my twenties - wow what a stunner, even if I say so myself - just didn't feel like that at the time, what a waste! Do enjoy your beauty as it is now, because you are beautiful and looking at your figures - weight/height etc. you are wonderful, celebrate it now.

Ditch all the spoilsports who make you feel bad about yourself, and I'm afraid your current partner seems to be one of them and hold your head high! You deserve it.

Do what your heart tells you to to because you will be criticised by other anyway. (Eleanor Roosevelt)

Good luck to you gorgeous!

[elsieshaye]

I have to say that one of the best things I ever did for myself was investigating being a fetish model.  I am a big girl (or Big Beautiful Woman, according to some personals sites), so realizing that there is in fact a whole group of people who actually -prefer- my body type gave me a huge lift and made me look at myself in a completely different way.

That being said, I think that there's a point in every job that involves success based on looks where you worry, and start to forget all the valuable and precious things about yourself that have nothing to do with your body.  When it gets to that point, and you start feeling like you aren't worth anything if you aren't physically perfect, I think it's doing yourself a kindness to start refocusing on all the rest of you.  I guarantee you that there is worth and wonderfullness to you independent of how you look naked.  Surrounding yourself with people who don't manipulate and hurt you by playing on your fears and insecurities is an important place to start, IMO.

[Doe]

I have to say that one of the best things I ever did for myself was investigating being a fetish model.

Well, if we're going to open up, I wrote a letter to Playboy inquiring about employment as a Bunny when I was 12.
I did get a letter back!

[elsieshaye]

Doe, that made me laugh.  (When I was 12, I wrote a letter to Leonard Nimoy declaring my undying love.  Thank goodness there is no chance I will ever meet the poor guy, lol!  At least the Playboy folks were nice enough to answer you!)

[Pen]

Elsie, great post.

I recently made plans to attend an event with a gorgeous childhood friend & an old (male) friend of hers who is a celeb. At first I was excited, but then the doubt set in and the voices started going off in my head: I won't fit in, people will laugh at me, I'll embarrass my friend, the celeb will be shocked that he has to spend time with someone so ugly, I'm not fashionable, hip, skinny, rich or confident enough - yadda yadda yadda.

I thought I left that life because I prefered rural living, but now I realize I purposely moved to a community that (in the past at least) didn't judge people on looks because I knew I'd never survive in the old 'hood. When one is suddenly faced with those pressures again it can be scary! At my age one would think I'd have it together, but I feel like I'm back in junior high.

[elsieshaye]

Pen, I can completely understand that. 

[Kate123]

Pen, In real life the majority of people are not "beautiful", we only notice the ones that are. Unless the event is Hollywood Style I am sure most people will be of average type. When you go take notice and then you will feel fine.

[pam1]

I think I was born with beer googles   it is rare for me to find someone who is not beautiful to me in someway.  I love people watching.

[lancaster lady]

As you get older , health is more important than looks , every time .

[Pooh]

Amen LL!

[Pen]

Pooh, right on. I'm like Huell Howser in that I find just about everyone and everything fascinating, lol. Once they tell their story I find them attractive in some way.

LL, how true!

Kate, the people I'm going with are definitely Hollywood style (direct from Hollywood, actually.) The other attendees will be just regular folks. I grew up around very judgemental people for whom looks and style were everything; it affects me still. I live in my own little non-judgmental bubble until the real world catches up with me, then I panic! Yes, there will be cocktails at this event Maybe everyone will be wearing beer goggles, tee-hee.

[Kate123]

Pen, I think you have to feel sorry for the Hollywood types- to spend your life worrying about such things-ughh! What counts in what is on the inside not outside. You sound pretty beautiful on the inside.