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Do You Ever Wonder?

Started by cocobars, January 26, 2010, 07:12:28 PM

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peggyrice@triad.rr.com

 Anna,
Am eager to hear the good news!!!

cocobars

January 28, 2010, 05:05:25 PM #31 Last Edit: January 28, 2010, 06:37:22 PM by cocobars
Quote from: HappyDays09 on January 28, 2010, 01:39:35 PM
QuoteSo, I'm left wondering...  Does anyone really love us back? The next question - what is love?  Maybe my definition is not the same...

Hey, you are not alone cocobars.  I haven't spoken to my son/his wife in over four years.  Never seen their child either.  Ended all communication with a couple of terribly cruel sisters about this time, too.  You see, I once took it.  Thought it was mandatory.  That I take their cruel remarks, their insensitive comments and their totally rude behavior.  I thought it was my birthright being the middle kid. 
   As I post, the end of my 26 year marriage is looming large.  I cannot stay with someone who abuses me emotionally, verbally and now here's a new twist:  economically.  I have been a stay at home and DO IT ALL mom for our entire marriage.  I tried working but he took the car away and refused to do his share.  It wasn't easy.  I had to stop.
  But all in all I am NOT going to let their failings as humans get me down.  I am even more than motivated to get my life going and not look back.  I have no regrets. 
   I can only offer sympathy and remind you to be good to yourself.  This is the time when you can love you and pretty much enjoy it!!!
  Don't let them get to you!  They are not worth it.
OMG!  Are you ok happy?  I hope things work out for you there!  I'm going to keep you in my thoughts and heart!  You must be hurting!

I really am good to myself.  I love "me" enough to see what is happening around me now.  I didn't before.  I hope you take care of yourself.  I also hope you will put your feelings in your own post so that you can get the support you need!  Everybody here cares for eachother.  That is what makes us all special!

You are part of that.  Don't you forget it! Come back and post, and keep posting. We all hurt and we are all here.  I'm happy you are here and I hope you reach out.  I know things are hard when those things happen!  You have to reach, sometimes farther than you thought your arms could! Keep reaching.

You have found the most loving women here to support you! 

We love you and we're here!~  At the click of a mouse...

cocobars

Quote from: Carolina Gal on January 28, 2010, 04:45:56 PM
Anna,
Am eager to hear the good news!!!

Hi Carolina!  I'm waiting for Luise to come through with her "truth" wand!  That should do it!

hehehehehe!

luise.volta

Whoosh! I'm back. Oh, and I LOVE secrets! How long do we have to wait???

Happy Days: good for you! "Being married is supposed to be better than being single, or what's the point?" (Old saying I just made up.)

Big PINGS! ;D
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

luise.volta

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

SunnyDays09

QuoteOMG!  Are you ok happy?  I hope things work out for you there!  I'm going to keep you in my thoughts and heart!  You must be hurting!

  Thanks so much!!  I see many many similarities between dils with narcissistic personality disorder and my dh.  I am sorry that I chose to close my eyes to it for so long. 
  He isn't complaining, so I feel I need to get my life in gear and get out.  It may take some time being out of work for over 26 years, but I gotta try!!

   I discovered his NPD while reading about some dils! 
   

2chickiebaby

I am so very sorry, Happy.  If I was there, I'd help you in any way I could.  My heart just breaks for you.  I'm so glad you're getting out now, though!!
Love you

cocobars

January 29, 2010, 12:27:44 PM #37 Last Edit: January 29, 2010, 12:50:14 PM by cocobars
Happy, I understand the "being out of work."  I was in the same situation when I moved back up here after giving up on my husband (although the situation was different).  I've tried several things.  I worked for a temp agency who placed me at a builders site.  They liked me and I liked them, so they offered me a job.  I did very well selling new homes.  So well, they put me at their largest and most high profile site in the area.  I set it up and organized it and LOVED the job!  It was so much fun and I love people so it was perfect.  Another woman and I were middle-aged, and we both noticed that they weren't paying us the way they were paying the younger girls there.  She left and got her real estate license - I followed.  I loved real estate, but got in at a bad time.  Had to quit because I couldn't afford the fee's and it takes about 3 years to get your name out there and start making money.  I just didn't have the money or time to wait.  Now I'm temping in offices.  There is an age discrimination out there.  Not with every company, but most.  The younger girls get jealous if you do well and the "boss" starts giving you special projects to work on.  It's like being around a room full of DIL's all trying to get at you.

I know that's an awful story, but I'm with a company now that is very kind (God said it was my turn I guess). I think if you haven't worked for awhile the temp agencies will give you lots of experience in different areas.  They will make you take a skill test on the computer, so brush up on your computer skills if you need to.  Another positive note about temp agencies is that you get to try out alot of different work atmospheres.  This gives you some different considerations (just in case you are not sure what you're interested in).  The money isn't good with a temp agency, so that's a drawback.  Just weigh the pro's and con's and you'll decide what to do.  In the meantime don't hesitate to shoot me a note.  I will be happy to give you some advice in that department.  If that's not the way you want to go, there are enough women here to give you some more ideas! 

Isn't this place nice!!  Where's Luise and that wand of hers!  You need a ping!!

luise.volta

Here I am! Here I am! Ping! Pop! Pow!

My sort-of, soon-to-be ex- SIL (very complex but if you want to know, I'll explain)...is trying to get back into the work force and feels the same way about temp agencies. Sees them as a good place to get his feet wet and shop around.

Well, what the heck..he was married to my son's ex. I kept her as my DIL after they split and for the last 15 years, he has been part of the family as well, (and always will be.) He was her Guy-Friday when she owned a technical recruiting company but that was before she was rear-ended by an 18 wheeler and sustained permanent brain damage. The business went under and so did the marriage. I am not kidding. It sounds like a home-grown soap, doesn't it? Oh, well...that's true of a lot of us!

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

2chickiebaby

"soon to be ex-SIL?"  I'm so sorry about her accident, Luise!!  So sad.

I need pinging...really, someone gave me 2 plusses and I want to thank them, whoever they are.  I'm getting more even now.  :'(

Pssst! Danger, Poison!!!

cocobars

It's ok Chickie!  She will come through again and ping!

In the meantime, let me try this home-made wand and see if it works.  I'm sure it won't work as good as hers, but maybe it will just make you smile! 

Here goes! Ping, Ping, Pssshhhht!  Oops I forgot I was supposed to ping, wasn't I?

BIG PING!!!!!!!!! ;D

luise.volta



C/B - Pluses are  a variety of pinging!  8)

My ADIL (always-daughter in-law) was hit two years ago. It took that long for the marriage to go under. The business went very soon...when her memory failed her. She's a wonderful person. The insurance claim/legal case has yet to be settled. Now, I have an ASIL (always son in law.) 

We are all still close and they all come to family gatherings...including my son's present sweetie and my ex and his wife. (We are a clan of very slow learners but at least we don't hold grudges!  ;D )
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

cocobars

I'm not surprised.  Your warmth comes out in your writing.  We don't really have to meet you in person, or hear your voice to see and feel it.

I have to say this, and I mean it in the best way!  But Luise, going by your picture I could REALLY see you holding a wand and pinging like a fairy godmother! 

Chickie, I wish you had a picture so I could put you with it!  You know how you have these pictures in your mind that you imagine people look like? 

Ping, Pshht, Ping Psssssht PING!!!!

2chickiebaby

That is a wonderful group you have, Luise...ex's and ex-inlaws....LORD~~!

Anyway, good for you for being so open hearted and young at heart! 8)

2chickiebaby

Okay, tell me what you think I look like...who I resemble in the entertainment field.