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3 way rift, long back story

Started by bdwell1904, October 15, 2011, 10:05:32 AM

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Doe

Add me to the count of Southern ladies.  I left a long time ago but still love my collards and okra.

pam1

Ok, I know what okra is but no idea what collards are.  I know I have heard of them but never tried it, it looks sort of like spinach right?  Does it taste like it too?

And I'm half southern hahahaha.  Ok, no not really but there are still arguments about where I grew up and what part of the US we are.  Makes me laugh every time.
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

Doe

Yea, they're greens.  I hated them growing up but love 'em now.  It sounds like you moved around a lot as a kid?

pam1

No, I grew up in the DC metropolitan area.  When my parents divorced my father lived out in the country of VA, about 45 minutes from DC.  Back then it wasn't as nearly as congested as now so it was pretty barebones country out there.  They shared custody so we had city living and country living, pretty neat experience.  I find myself sad that DD doesn't have the same.

But any how, there is always debate about whether DC is the south or not LOL.  It's such a mix of culture there which is awesome.  And it's funny, people who have lived there all their lives will have such differing accents.  When people find out where I'm from they always ask where is my southern accent
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

bdwell1904

Doe-plenty of greens in the garden. Making gumbo so will have your okra here today :D

Pooh

Same here Doe, couldn't stand them growing up, but man I'll eat them now!  With vinegar! Lol.

Cornbread, sweet tea, fried okra, fried squash, collards, lettuce/onions and grease and bacon with everything....it's hard to be Southern and on a diet...sigh
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Pen

Our very own Steel Magnolias! I'm so intrigued by the South, I've never even traveled there unless a short lay-over @ Dallas counts? But I love okra and collards, so I'm an official adoptee according to one of my dear friends whose aunties argue over whose collards/peach cobbler are the best every year at their Juneteenth party.

Pooh, thanks for your post about the manuals. It sums up what I often feel about our situations, DILs as well as MILs. As I've said before, sometimes a DIL or MIL is just waiting for an excuse to cut the other party off. Anything will do, even if it's far-fetched and nonsensical.

About speaking one's mind, I've been thinking about this a lot since last w/e. DIL still treats me with disdain, DS tries to speak up but is quickly silenced by her, and my feelings get hurt or I sit and seethe in silence. I'm very frustrated by my lack of "self-advocacy" around them. Oh how I'd love to feel free to speak! Just hash it all out once and for all....but there I sit, smiling like a doufuss to keep from crying. I don't even feel free to say anything about anything anymore - world news, national news, family news, community doings, DH & my interests, work, house, pets, the weather, etc. Unless it involves DIL/her FOO it's not allowed. Consequently I'm not myself around them and that perpetuates DIL's opinion of us as stupid losers.

If I could talk I'd ask DIL why she hates us; I'd ask DS if he is ashamed of us; I'd tell them DH & I deserved the same respect and consideration that they give the ILs; I'd tell DS that we love him just as much as the ILs love DIL; I'd ask DS if he thinks he has changed to accomodate DIL/her FOO; and I'd tell them I will no longer accept snarky, critical comments about me, DDD, my home, my friends, my career, my community, my car, my taste in clothes or home furnishings, my interests, my looks or my intelligence. Whoa, look out! WWIII coming!
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Pooh

Ha ha ha....go Pen..go Pen...go Pen
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

pam1

Pen, that might be just the thing they need.  I tell you what, nothing gets my attention more than a relatively quiet and calm person speaking out.  You know they really have something to say
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

elsieshaye

Pam, I'm from the same area.  I guess technically, Northern Virginia is Southern, because it's below the Mason-Dixon line, but it's such a hodgepodge of people from everywhere.  Go a few exits west on I-66, though, and it's country.  (I've ended up with a very slight southern accent, especially when I'm aiming for extra-friendly and bubbly, and I freely assert my right to say "y'all" and "all y'all" whenever I want!  :)  )
This too shall pass.  All is well.

pam1

LOL  Elsie!  I may be biased but there's no place on Earth as beautiful as Northern Va.  Next time I'm in the area maybe we could get together?  Would be fun :)

I so hope one day we can all do a WWU meetup.
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

Pen

Oh boy, how could I forget I've been to VA a couple of times? D-uh! Northern VA is quite beautiful, I agree. It's so green.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

elsieshaye

Pam - yes that would be fun!  Someday we need to do a WWU-fest. :D
This too shall pass.  All is well.

amflautist

Quote from: Orly on October 16, 2011, 03:26:26 PM
I have never understood the concept of birth as a spectator sport.  Nor the sense in hanging around the hospital for the baby to come, ala the 1950's and 60's.

Nope, not in the 1950's and 60's.  Certainly didn't happen then!  This 70-something just wanted to set the record straight. 

FAFE

I am definitely a Georgia Peach.  A really, really sweet one!