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Abusive Relationships - Open Discussion

Started by cremebrulee, January 11, 2010, 04:25:32 PM

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cocobars

Hi Peggy, and welcome!

It seems our sons have alot in common.  My son finally gave up and moved back in with me after a few years of the same thing.  He had no contact with anyone, except her and her family.  Her family started treating him awfully and said some bad things about him once we were out of the way.  My DIL had an affair, and he finally left.  Now I think they are getting back together.  At least that's how it seems.  Whenever he sees her he comes back mad at everyone in my home.  It's heartbreaking, to say the least.  We just love them anyway don't we?  All that hurt is erased in a second because we love them so much.

Keep us close and post often here.  You'll get some good advice and warm support.  That's what we all need! I know it's why I'm here.  What a great place we found!

peggyrice@triad.rr.com

Yes, we just keep loving our mixed up sons with all our hearts while they let their wives tear up our and the rest of the families hearts!  Makes me wonder what is wrong with me!  If he was not my son, I would say "so long' good riddance" so quick it would make their heads spin!

cremebrulee

Quote from: peggyrice@triad.rr.com on January 27, 2010, 07:04:10 AM
Yes, we just keep loving our mixed up sons with all our hearts while they let their wives tear up our and the rest of the families hearts!  Makes me wonder what is wrong with me!  If he was not my son, I would say "so long' good riddance" so quick it would make their heads spin!

In the beginning when this all happened, my son made my DIL go to counseling...I believe she got scared, and for years pretended to tollerate me....they didn't go to counseling long, and by the way, the counselor said, I did some things wrong....I wasn't there to tell my story...and while I agree, I probably did, I would have loved to be there...so, there for awhile, my DIL walked a straight line....but everytime we were alone, she'd always let me know I was not welcome, except for one time...the last time I was visiting....we were alone for the day, and she was fine....????  Hard to talk to, but fine....all the rest of the times, she was always doing something when my son wasn't in ear shot, to let me know she hated me....and I wasn't welcome there in her home....

once she even yelled at me, that time I tried to talk to her...."WE WENT TO COUNSELING BECAUSE OF YOU"!  Wrong, she went to counseling b/c of her...my son, even told me, she was so bad in the very beginning, he almost left...and she knew that, that is why she toned it down and pretends....but she is always telling him, I hate her?  Sheeesh, yeah, I hate her alright, my son knows me, and knows, if I hated her how I'd be....he knows I'd give her a what for with words...and never look back....and, to tell you the truth, sometimes, I'm at that point now...where I just don't care anymore...not one bit...not about her or what she says about me...it is what it is...and she will someday, be in a very bad way b/c of all this....she will reap what she's sewn....or is it the other way around? And yanno what, I'm so glad, so thankful, I didn't loose my temper, and give her a verbal what for....I'm so proud of me for controlling that....that is one thing, I've accomplished from this, plus patience, plus understanding that my son, needs to live and do, as he so chooses.


2chickiebaby

Carolina Gal?  Have we welcomed you?  I hope so but didn't remember it.

Welcome. :)

cocobars

Carolina, welcome!

So true.  Our family can hurt us in ways nobody else can get away with.  LOL!

peggyrice@triad.rr.com

Thank you ladies!  I need an avenue to express-at least until I get a handle on this situation.  It still feels like such a shock.

2chickiebaby

I'm glad you're here, Carolina....it's hard enough to deal with on your own.  At least we have each other.