March 29, 2024, 05:54:30 AM

News:

"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


My mother is almost 80 and in the middle of this drama

Started by sadat46, February 09, 2010, 12:41:45 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

2chickiebaby

I'm hoping to get to that place too, Luise....this sitting and trying to come up with a reason why, has effected my health and my peace of mind.  I will never know why, though, that people can't be nice to someone else. 

I was thinking last night about how small the earth is, just hanging out there in space. I guess if we could see ourselves from way above, we'd behave.  We're just hanging out there and SPINNING too all at the same time.  Such a miraculous thing and we're blowing it.

I think and always have, that we are alone in the Universe. Just us and we can't get along. What a shame.

renny97

That is beautiful, Luise.  :)

I think it should become the new mission statement for the site. Which got me to thinking about an idea to put favorite quotes in an area on the site. They don't have to be profound, maybe like, Orly's "valentine's deposits!"  :) Just an inspirational area to place healing or even funny thoughts.
??? Or is that similar to "Grab bag"?

Renny

Pen

Luise, I'm trying, too...I stumble a lot. I can't seem to get it into my brain that I really have no control over the situation!

Chickie, your thoughts on our lonely planet remind me of the James Taylor song "There We Are." One part says,

"Drifting through time and space
On the face of a little blue ball
Falling around the sun
One in a million, billion, twinkling lights
Shining out for no one
In the middle of the night..."

It's actually a love song.


Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

2chickiebaby

It's true!! We're just spinning....we don't even feel it spinning!!  Everyday, just like clockwork, the Sun is up and just like clockwork the Moon is there.  What a miracle!

Someone is a wonderful Architect! 

luise.volta

Let me ask Kirk of it's possible to give us a new category. What do you think of "Inspiration?" Just a corner where we can go for a leg-up when we need it?

It seems to me that it's easy to get caught in "why." One of our best survival techniques is Cause and Effect. As in: Why is my hand burned? Oh, I see...the stove top is not a friendly place."

If there is a "why" and we can find a way to address and resolve it, that's the way to go. Saying "Oh, well..." smacks of giving up and I think it takes most of us a long time to realize it can also be a survival technique.

I just love you guys to pieces! :-*
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

cocobars

Yay!  Inspiration sounds great!  What a positive thought!

luise.volta

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama


luise.volta

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama


peggyrice@triad.rr.com

My mother is 85 and I thank God she has dementia to the point that she does not know what my DIL and older son has done to this family.  I am glad she is not aware of this hurtful situation.

renny97

So sad, CG. My mother (passed), would cringe if she knew that her adored grandson was being further manipulated by DIL against me. And, nothing seems to stop them. They don't have anyone or anything "taken away."

I've said before, I believe that dysfunction only has a certain "shelf life." Fate/karma, has to be there somewhere? I have been feeling a bit better every day. It is kinda odd that if I need to feel better, all I have to do is think of how I felt in their house. It is the creepiest feeling. That, "knowing-what-is-going-on" feeling, and killing me trying to be respectful just had to end with or without son's blessings. My health, was at risk--really. I kept thinking, "What if I have a heart attack over here"? What a way to go?

I forgot that I am older. No, I don't know everything (part of the wisdom). And, to continue under her rule, was literally killing me. It felt like watching someone who is wrong, lead us all? That what was confusing, the power and the emotions and the kin-aspect. Once, I decided to view the situation/DIL as a person not related, it made me see that I would not let anyone treat me this way. So why now? I usually have to be pushed to confrontation, but I've been realizing I can calmly state my response, even at the risk of not having it turn out my way. I cannot and will not live to someone else's control. I am too independent for that.

luise.volta

Thanks. A good thing to remember and to use as a yardstick. If anyone else did that, what would I do? A great tool regarding self-respect.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

cocobars

And, you feel so much better than just limping away...