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FB sux

Started by Smilesback@u, October 09, 2011, 02:40:51 pm

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pam1

My stepmom is on facebook and there doesn't seem to be any problems yet.  She friends all the girlfriends/boyfriends of my sibs too lol.  I don't know what she does when they break up lol.  I do know that I think she is about to step in poo....one of the girlfriends is a real live wire and I guess has been complaining to my stepmom about brother. 

So I don't know if it is FB that is bad necessarily or maybe everyone is just getting used to a new way of communicating.  As an outsider to my stepmoms situation I think the logical choice is to stay away from her kids pages so she doesn't get dragged in to all that.
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

Pooh

I still love my FB.  The positives outweigh the negatives for me.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Pen

Pooh, I'm glad you are having a good experience with FB. I understand the positive stuff about it and wish I could participate! I'd love to be able to keep up with the family and find old friends. One of these days perhaps I'll feel strong and confident enough to not give a rip if I'm not accepted as a friend by someone, especially family members, and I'll eat my words & join. I have a long history of not fitting in, never being good enough, and being rejected and left behind w/o explanation. I don't want to purposely set myself up for more of the same treatment.

Beautiful Smiles, it's true - you are a good parent and GP. It's unfortunate our DSs and DILs are using different measuring methods, apparently. For whatever reason, the qualities that make us unique and fabulous aren't valued by them right now, so we have to value ourselves.

IMO, when our AC don't value us it's a harder blow since we kind of assumed that the unconditional love we experienced (giving & receiving) when they were infants/children would continue and flourish forever. I'd not ever felt it before and I liked it! I don't like feeling like I'm back in junior high with my own children :(    FB feels like junior high to me, lol, so for now I pass.

You're so right, we have to ignore the slights, enjoy our own lives and embrace our lovely, unique selves. We're worth it!
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Pooh

Hmmm....I haven't really thought about it, but maybe I have had mostly positives because I have never sent a friend request.  I have asked to join a group before, but never sent a friend request.  All the friends and family I have, have sent them to me.  I have hid several of them because I didn't like what they were posting and I have deleted people that went way to far, without commenting.  I have a niece and nephew, both military families that have babies.  The niece is in Missouri and leaving in December for Hawaii for 3 years.  The nephew is in South Carolina and will probably be deployed in a few months.  They posts pics for us to be able to see the babies as they are growing.  My YS has his FB and we have a good time on there ragging each other.  He posts pics for me to see what he is doing (those he can).  My SF asked me a few months ago to set him one up because he and my Mom wanted to be able to see the GC and GGC.  I did and when he friended me, I told him to do so at his own risk as my DH likes to post funny things on my page.  My personal rule is I don't post anything that I would care if anyone saw and I stay away from controversy.  I also don't post anything about family, work or friend related unless it's positive.   I also never assume anyone's status is about me unless they put my name in it...Lol. 

I also have found two groups on there that are about my disease.  Since there is so little about it out there, this has been very valuable to me because these people can relate and are very supportive and informative.  I am addicted to "Words With Friends", "The Sims" and "Gardens of Time" and probably need an intervention because I yell at my Sim's character for not moving fast enough...Lol.  I have found out that there are people that I spoke to in real life that put on a public show because after being on FB with them, I consider that one fair warning to me to not trust them in person.

The only negatives I have experienced have been with my OS and DIL, and why should that shock me since I've had issues in real life with them?  So for just me, my positives outweigh my negatives.  The day that changes, I'll delete my account.  I've received some ugly texts before but I didn't blame the phone.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Ruth

Pen, you spoke for me also.  I don't think really anything is bad in itself, it is just how an individual personality responds to it.  I use FB for my business, but I don't like it personally.  It gives me anxiety.  I worry about anything I write.  I am very hurt when I am unfriended, so I stay away from it, it just isn't my medium.  But I'm also an old fossil who doesn't do cell phones, texting, etc.  I also have to watch myself that I don't get too drawn into this website, I'm bad to get too drawn into things.  This site has been so important to me, and critical to my survival, that I've been willing to risk the downside to be a part of this family.   

I worry very much that after my decease, and it could be an unexpected thing, who knows? but I worry that somehow a family member may find my posts.  I would never never want that to happen, and hurts that could not be healed be the result.  I've said things here that I could never say anywhere else, but sometimes I get the shakes that it will come out after I've croaked and then I'll really be toast.

Can you all tell me how to send a personal message?  I don't understand this feature.

Pooh

I guess it's like anything ladies.  I have tons of friends who use twitter and love it, I can't stand it.  They like keeping up with their favorites shows, stars, news, etc.  I tried it and didn't like it so I deleted it.  Now people ask me all the time, "Do you tweet?  What's your name?" and when I say "No", they look at me like I have two heads.

The only way to send a personal message any longer is if the member chooses to post an email to their profile.  If they have, you can click on their name and go to their profile, and find the email.  Or if you are in a post, under their name should be a little icon showing they have email.  You can click on the little envelope and it will take you to the email function.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Smilesback@u

Quote from: Pen on October 12, 2011, 08:42:50 am
I have a long history of not fitting in, never being good enough, and being rejected and left behind w/o explanation. I don't want to purposely set myself up for more of the same treatment.
Yes, I have my hx of hurts from my FOO and decided when I became a mother it was my time to love with my whole heart...and not give a rip.  Kids love wholeheartedly.  I loved picking my first son up from daycare at 2 1/2 and he would run, full board, yelling across the room while he ran, *Mom* that made it all worth it.  The other time it made me feel that it was all worth it, was when I found out I would be a GP.  I could die and go to heaven now.  Been through some moments that I thought were hell...not going through that ever again.  My eyes are wide open.  I think returning to have a heart like a child takes practice.  WWU is my haven to practice.  Love you all...(ps I don't have internet on my cell, so no tweet, no texts, and like being in the flesh, ME).