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"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


cherishing ourselves

Started by Pen, January 19, 2010, 10:22:46 AM

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Pen

Cherishing ourselves is often difficult due to many things, but I believe it is one of the most important things we can do while dealing with MIL/DIL issues that are often gut-wrenchingly brutal. Even little irritants can affect our health and how we deal with others, IMO.

After months of putting it off (excuse after excuse) I finally made an appointment to get accupuncture and massage for my stiff neck and shoulders!!! Yay me! I hope I can continue to value myself, and maybe others will start to value me, too.

How do the rest of you cherish and value yourselves?
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

isitme?

I think this is a wonderful idea Penstamen.  We should all learn to do little nice things for ourselves - particularly when we are feeling down about our MIL/DIL issues.

Over the weekend I booked a "couples" massage for my twin sister and I to celebrate our birthday.  It was so nice to do something with her that we both enjoyed.  I had no idea there was so much tension in my muscles!!!!  I'm so glad I went! 

I think you should continue to value yourself Penstamen - and everyone else on here too.  Good for you!

luise.volta

Well, I do a "Gratitude List" before I go to sleep and when I wake up...to let myself take the time to focus on how good life is, even when it seems like it isn't. And I study every day, to offer myself the opportunity to expand. Right now it is "22 Steps to Success Your Guide To A Fulfilling Life" by Krysta Gibson. I also listen to a 10 minute CD every AM by her: Embrace Your Day Love Your Life. And everything I study that I want to retain, I repeat 21 times because a Yale study says that's the amount of repetition that is needed to get it past my conscious and into my subconscious. Otherwise it is entertainment. And I look to see where my actions don't fit my beliefs and values...like eating sugar and wanting to feel well. I let love in...my husband's smile and how it feels to hold a warm Chihuahua. I also seek and offer support in my Care Giver's Support Group and my Senior Support Group.

Guess I'd better stop. There doesn't seem to be an end to this...

Thank you!
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

cremebrulee

Tremendous posts....and Luise you proposed some very good food for thought....

A few of the ladies in my neighborhood have lost they're husbands and I am they're support network...I try to have dinner parties once in a while, just for them, to get together, perhaps they'll meld and help each other when they feel a little weak kneed at times....

I also know how a warm Bichon feels to hold, thank God I adopted him.

I pray always for goodness for my son, GD and DIL...so that there are no bad feelings in my heart when I go to sleep...
and it doesn't fester as much

Trying to be a better listener to my co-workers who need support and laughter...I can be a real clown at times....

Staying thankful for not only experiencing Child birth, but also, for the gift of rearing a child...what a joy...!

and as always, bettering myself through the help of this web site...putting to practice what others offer in advice....and praying for continued strength to let my son go...to live and experience life, with or without me, to understand, it is his choice, his life, his time....in hopes that someday, he has no regrets and understands, even in the face of all this disharmony caused by my DIL....that he loves her and understands her as I do....




luise.volta

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama