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daughter in law won't let me see grandkids

Started by wendy63, October 08, 2011, 04:41:06 am

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You say mortgage was in your name.  How about title to the house?  Was it titled in your name or theirs?  That is key.  I agree with everyone else, you should hire someone to help you do the math.  Your accountant who prepares your taxes?  I would suggest a lawyer - but you don't want this to turn even more adversarial than it already is.  Perhaps your county bar association could suggest someone who specializes in mediation?  If you know good thereapists, they might be able to mediate.  But mediation only works if both sides want it.

I'd be reluctant to have meetings with them until you have your facts down pat.  I am fuzzy on your facts.  If you want to go into detail on this forum about

How much was down payment, and in what year?  And what was source of that $$
How much were taxes each year, and who paid for those?
How much was insurance each year and who paid?
How much were repairs each year and who paid?
Did they pay anything at all the first several years?  What did they pay each year?
When did they start paying anything, and what did they pay? and how much?
When they started paying something, did you still pay anything?  If so, what and how much?

You said -- "All they paid was the mortgage i paid all the bills for 7 of these nine years" -

What do you mean by "all the bills" ?    Do you mean just house related bills like taxes, insurance, repairs?  Or do you mean groceries, shoes, clothing, gasoline?   Or the fuzzy in-between category of utilities? 

Need details and clarification.  There are many WW on this forum.  If you want to share math details, we could probably give you lots of perspectives.   But you have to start with the math.  And answers to all of the above questions.  You will need to have all that data before a hired expert can help you, anyway.   Keep in touch - but don't rush off to any meetings.  You're not prepared yet.


Other information that would be helpful?   
Amount of monthly payment they did make.
What portion of that was interest and what portion was principal?  The interest is for the "use of the money"   The money loaned was used to buy the house.  they had the use of the house.  Amortization is the principal reduction.  It would be interesting to see the total amortization covered by their principal payments.  Probably not much.  That is really their only net contribution to the purchase of the house.

Another question.   WHY did you pay for everything for *9* years.  That's an awfully long time.  Were they very young and in school?  Need background there. 

I wish Amflautist lived in your city.  She sounds like she has just the right kind of skills to help figure this out.  Amflautist - your formulas might be a little confusing to anyone without your high-level analytical skills - but I think if Wendy gives us all the information we could all help with the math.  And gee, we do love to give advice, don't we? :)