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Interesting article by a son .. interview with his mother....

Started by AnnieB, December 26, 2009, 12:45:04 PM

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AnnieB

I thought this article was interesting -- It's written by a man who wrote a fiction book about how men don't appreciate the women who raise them and his interview with his mother, who seems to have a good view about the whole predicament some of us are in.    Of course, mind you, he doesn't seem to be one who would sit back while his wife cut his mum out... I'd like to read the book ... but it's UK published... maybe I'll ask my UK son (the one with the wife who hates me) to send me a copy, hahaha

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/families/article3778942.ece

cremebrulee

Interesting perspective, thanks so much for posting....

I wish more men would realize, it's ok to love mom openly

cremebrulee

Quote from: Anna on February 18, 2010, 07:20:21 AM
I was raised to believe that if a man can show love for his mother, he would make a better husband.  My hubby loves his mom very much.   Maybe that's why I was attracted to him.  He is a wonderful husband AND son.


Great thoughts Anna...
My foster mom taught us to watch how a man speaks to and treats his mother, which speaks volumns as well.... ;D

and here we are...our son's are kind men, who really do take care of they're wives...and they're wives hate us...where in the world, do they think our son's came from and learned how to be good husbands....
a "husband's r us" store?

cocobars

LOL! I agree, Anna!  I don't know how I missed this comment but thank you for bringing it to my attention! ;D

By the way Creme, where is that store located? :)

Ree

Wow,  "...as a parent, gratitude is not part of the equation..." 

Nana

Yes Ree.  Gratitude is not a part of the equation.  Gulp!   They will pay it forward to their childrenh...and their children to theirs.....and that is how it goes.   

I have also heard that a good son will make a good husband.  It did work for me.  My dh  loves and cares a lot about his mom....and his is also a wonderful husband and father. 

What I did noticed is that when ds became a father for the first time, he became sweeter towards his dad and me.  After the delivery of his first baby he hugged his dad and cried . 

Thanks Annie for sharing this article.
Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove:
Shakespeare

cadagi101

Hi, does anyone know of any son's who treat there mother like a 2nd class citizen and is verbably abusive who have made fantastic husbands??  I am curious about this  it is a concern of mine that my son will treat his wife like he treats me, it will make me want to tell his fiancee to run a mile. 

Nana

My guess is that he sure will (treat his fiancee the same way he treats you).  I have never seen it the other way around.  I have a friend that suffers the worst verbal abuse from his adult son who is still single.  At the beginning of a relationship he is real nice with the girls he is dating (courting) but when the relationship ends he gets pretty violent .  His real self surface. 

Poor girl....


Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove:
Shakespeare

Pooh

Hmmm, wonder if that is an older generation saying because that it what I was always told too.  To watch how a man treats his mother.  My ex didn't treat his mother well, and didn't treat me well.  My current hubby has a great respect and relationship with his Mother, and treats me the same way.  So I think there is truth to it.

My current hubby also says it is the same thing with women.  He says to young men, I quote, "Take a look at your girlfriends Mother.  If you can say that if you were her Mothers age, would you be able to be married to her and live with her?  If the answer is yes, then you have a good woman.  If you say, NO WAY...then run like heck!"
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Pen

My current DH loved his mom very much but didn't communicate with any of his family very often until recently. He's a good husband and wonderful dad. My former DH called his mom often, doted on her, and followed her advice even after we married. He was not a good husband; in fact, after he'd talk to his mom on the phone he'd pick a fight with me. Yuck...too weird for me!
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

miss_priss

My hubby, too, is so wonderful, although his mother tells everyone what a horrible son he is because he enforced boundaries on her behavior towards us.  He's always been a good son to her, in the years that I've known him anyway.  DH hasn't spoken to his mother in months, but still pays her cell phone bill, still calls his father a few times a week to make sure they are ok and don't need anything and just to chat, but she just continues to sulk in her own self-pity-party with claims of what a horrible person she raised "that could be that way towards her."  That kind of difficult personality like my MIL is would find fault in anyone but themselves.  If he were half as horrible a person she tells everyone he is, I surely would have never married him and had children with him.  She did a great job raising him, it was learning not to control him anymore that she had a problem with.     

It's a shame that she's missing out on such a wonderful son, and her grandchild too.   

Nana

Miss Priss

Yes...your mil doesnt know or understand what she is missing.  How many mil's would like to have the opportunity she had.  Some mil's never had a chance with dil.

It was soo nice of you acknowledging mil did a great job she did raising his son, what she didnt realized is that our children are only lent to us......they are not our possession. 

Good luck to you.

Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove:
Shakespeare