Update on how things are going and need advice for the future

[Rejected]

Begonia I'm sorry you've been hurt recently. Healing does take a long time, especially when things happen during the healing process that ends up putting salt in the wound, I'm currently healing too. To answer your question, as sad as it is to admit, I go out to eat out of duty. I want my DH to have a relationship with his DM because I love him and he wants me to join him for dinner. The dinners aren't to help the situation between my MIL and me, just between her and her son. My DH loves his mother and wants to see her, but wants me there by his side because she's nicer when I'm there. My DH goes out to eat with her out of love, she is, after all, his mom. I go to support my DH because I love him.
You brought up an interesting point. My DH and I have found our limits in seeing my MIL (my DH sees her twice a month, I see her once a month). Any more then that and all relationships struggle again. What else are we to do when we've reached our limits and she invites us over? Tell her the truth...that we have reached our monthly limit of tolerating her company? Ignore her calls & emails? I think the little white lies are a better tactic, and so does my counselor. When asked how we could maintain the relationships we have with my MIL and not upset her or hurt her feelings when we can't take anymore, the counselor's answer was, "Lie to her." You have recognized that people tell those little lies to avoid hurting someone more and you've stepped back to protect yourself from that. Kudos. I'm protecting myself from the H-E-double hockey sticks my MIL would give me & my DH if we told her the truth. If there is a better way, please, I'm more than happy to listen to it.