Angry with my Mother

[Doe]

You all are beautiful and wonderful women for being supportive.  I am so grateful to have found you.

Thank you!!

See, this is the kind of stuff we want to hear from our DSs and DILSs!     We can be your surrogates!

[Rose799]

Thank you!!

See, this is the kind of stuff we want to hear from our DSs and DILSs!     We can be your surrogates!
[/quote]

...and DD'S!!   : )

[sesamejane]

Recovering from such a background is possible and likely if you want it bad enough.  I agree with Ruth. Prayer, asking for assistance, reaching out to folks who lived the kind of lives I respected helped me.  Initially, I thought I was "not good enough" to be their friend, but I got over that.  Associate with people who have positive and honest spirits.  It can make all the difference.  And let go of all those who have been a negative influence. 

One thing I found difficult initially, is that I did not honor myself.  I didn't listen to my "instincts," and trust my own judgment about people.  If you are uncomfortable around someone, you dont' need to explain why, just excuse yourself and get on. 

I eventually found my way into a church that I felt comfortable in at the invitation of a friend.  I am a pretty liberal gal and do not like people telling me what to do.  This church was loving and supportive, and helped me grow up.  They began the emotional repair work along with several good therapists.

There are a lot of very fine people out there.

[Ruth]

Thank you, CO, for all the sweet things you said, I thought about it often yesterday.  Thank you also Sesame for such a meaningful post.  You are a dear girl, CO, and I think its your mother's loss.  Life your life and use this opportunity to give your daughter a wonderful life, perhaps you won't have to look back with regrets like so many of us.  You only get one shot at parenting.  What you did in protecting your daughter took a lot of guts, I admired you for this, it showed real character.  You should feel very proud of yourself.

[lancaster lady]

Hello again Colorado .....
As they say this is the first day of the rest of your life , think of what you can make that life be ,
for you and your daughter .
Each day will be better than the last , life's simple pleasures will be huge .
Wishing you and your family health , wealth and above all happiness .

[wouldratherbeincolorado]

Thank you sesamejane and lancasterlady. Its so good to hear of hope.  Your words are appreciated and I've read them all over and over again.  I have a lot of work to do, and that is fine with me, so long as I can come out of it a happier and more content person.

Thank you and best wishes to you all.