not coping very well need some tlc

[lancaster lady]

Hi Farelly ,

and don't you feel 100% better ?
This loving detachment really works for both sides , they know you are there and when they are ready
you WILL get that invite ....congrats   

[Pen]

Farrelly, I agree that patience is the best thing now. Congratulations on making progress and on the new GC.

I understand about not knowing how you feel. When I think my opinions and emotions aren't valid or of concern to anyone else I become a zombie. We are kind of stuck in an emotional limbo, but that's what it takes sometimes so we don't frighten off the AC & their spouses. Better to see it as loving detachment; find other outlets for whatever it is you're feeling when you finally figure it out.

Slowly, slowly...carefully, carefully...it will happen. In the meantime, please take care of yourself.

[Keys Girl]

Congratulations on your new grandchild and seeing some progress, it's wonderful to have your patience acknowledged and appreciated.

[Ruth]

I rejoice with you from the bottom of my heart!   We should never give up hope.  My wishes and prayers go your way, precious one.

[triplelace]

so many here will be sending you empathy, understanding and love.
Sometimes a little ranting rides the waves of pain until the tide goes out and
you can feel like it's more manageable.

I experienced a similar situation where I didn't see my GB until she was months and
not much since because of son's GF.  It's still a little crazy, but others have gotten to
a healthier side. 

I tell myself, my son couldn't possibly hang out with this one for too long.  They haven't
married.  But I don't know that either.  Also, I believe this child will be in my life, just not
now.  That helps sometimes.

I wish for you peaceful and comforting thoughts

Lovingly
triplelace

[Nana]

Farelly...Congratulations.... Baby steps....excellent....abide by their wishes and things can turn around .....   Patience pays off...

Love

[triplelace]

thank you, lovely sentiments

[farrelly80]

Hi Ladies,

another developement, YS home for the weekend has had a text from his brother letting him know about the birth of his baby girl. This from someone who didnt want to have anything to do with his family. Do I detect a thaw, what do you think, can I have some hope??
Please God we will get to see our GD soon, the waiting is so hard, although with your insight and thoughful comments I am biding my time, my YS's FDIL thinks that something will happen soon. she is a midwife and has seen so often that a new baby can bring deep feelings out in the open. Fingers crossed, just dont know how I will react, its very raw, but loving detatchment as you all have said is the way forward. will keep you posted, my lifelines xxxxx

[triplelace]

And all our fingers will be crossed with you.

[sesamejane]

congratulations Far.  I am happy to hear you are receiving sweet news.

[farrelly80]

Hi all

well still no contact, it seems to be geting harder this waiting for a call or text. I seem to have regressed some months back to the raw state I was in then. My wonderful DH I think is finding it much harder than me, but is trying to hide it (not very successfully) and that hurts so much. I cant cope when he is upset as he has always been my rock and I have been the emotional wreck. My family and friends are still convinced that the new GB will bring things to a head but I am not so sure. The DIL has got what she always wanted and is not going to give that up so easily. Why o why does it have to be like this, when life could be so wonderful for us all. I want to go out and buy lots of pretty pink baby clothes, Ive always longed for a little girl after having 2 boys, (and the DIL knows this) How cruel can a fellow Mother be, and why cant my DS step up???.
Sorry just needed a rant, my best friend tells me to be patient, but the waiting is so hard, and they may still not get in contact. The future looks bleak with the thought that maybe I wont ever see my GS again or the new GB.
Will keep hoping and praying for a breakthrough, just have to be patient.
Thanks for listening
farrelly

[triplelace]

Dear farrelly80

I am feeling you, and we are not the first grandma's who have had to go through this in the history of mankind.  These thoughts help me to know it is happening in my life, but it is not happening uniquely or because of who I am. I don't have any solutions and seem to have to accept my own powerlessness in my own situation.  I can tell you what works for me.

In my life time I have heard of many estranged grandparent/grandC who do get together eventually. I tell myself this isn't terminal, there are many potential outcomes that can occur in any of the parties involved in our situations that can change what's going on. I also tell myself and BELIEVE;Someday, maybe not in my time, but Someday my GC will be in my life.   

I try to re--focus my thinking as;  for me to remain in constant emotional pain is not a healthy activity for my soul or my body and doesn't change things anyway.

I try to handle this task in front of me as the next thing I have to do.  Which for me means I need
to choose the best and highest possible action to take care of myself, then continue to give  and lovingly be where it is wanted.

I forget are those involved in their twenties?

[farrelly80]

Hi triplelace

yes they are both in their late twenties. had my GS when they were in Uni,he is now 7.

[Pen]

Farrelly, I'm sorry you're still dealing with this. Please take care of yourself, be as nurturing as you can be to your DH as well. Keep the faith that DS will understand, as a father himself, how difficult this is for you. (((hugs)))

[Pooh]

Ditto Farrelly