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Dear Daughter ???

Started by lancaster lady, September 05, 2011, 09:44:02 AM

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Rose799

September 09, 2011, 08:46:51 AM #45
Thanks, I'm working on it, Pen, just having some down time.  It's only temporary... 

Nana

September 09, 2011, 04:20:03 PM #46
Thanks Rose..how nice that you thought about me.  I come to the forum every single day...I just dont post so much..... all you wise ladies have awesome advices and sometimes and I dont think I can add anything else....or sometimes I am not inspired lol.     I am flaterred that you notice my absence. 

Love you Rose
Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove:
Shakespeare

Ruth

September 09, 2011, 04:47:08 PM #47
LL, I went through something similar.  When my 28 yr old ds came out of military, he decided to make his residence with us while job searching.  There was no dil involved,granted, but I am right there with you knowing what your insides are doing - cartwheels!  trying to make them happy and make the home happy and fix fix fix.   There was NO peace in my home during that time, which only lasted a few weeks thanks be to God as I don't know if I could have stood it much longer, but it ended in a heartbreaking way as all his exits do.   You can't win this one.  You are not working with mature, unselfish, and reasonable people, like you are.  You'll just have to allow the time to pass for your heart to heal, as I did, and it WILL heal, and you have this forum to speed the process along.  I was sick when my son left, but in no time at all he had located him a place to live, and it was a good match for him.  I wasn't a good match, for neither of us.  Next time, take a deep breath before making an invitation into your home, and then step back and tell yourself never again.

lancaster lady

September 10, 2011, 12:43:28 AM #48
Nana
thankyou so much , you always have a calming effect on me , love you too !!

Back to my DD .....we have had lots of words , and my DD felt that she was only at the wedding for appearance sake !
she didn't feel welcome and didn't have one photo taken with her DB ! Not one of the brides family spoke to her ,
so I suppose thats why after consuming copious amounts of alcohol , she decided to tell the world !
They are obviously still holding a grudge after previous events .Which is sad in a way as she was only
defending her DM . We will always be close her and I even through the rough times , we mean too much to each other .
I will have to leave the sibling rows to them , I won't always be here to sort it for them .
No....I'm not going anywhere ....but one day they will be left to their own devices , and I hope they will be close
in years to come .

Back to the house .....I told my son I couldn't take any stress , and I have done my best to make them feel welcome ,
but if they don't want to be here there is nothing I can do ! I hope he can make things better for the rest of their
stay . Outwardly , its all fine and rosy , behind closed doors is another matter !
My GD smiles through it all , and I love her to bits ! So perhaps it's worth all the angst !

thanking you ladies for sharing , love as always ..... :-*

Pen

September 10, 2011, 01:35:07 AM #49
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

lancaster lady

September 10, 2011, 02:29:05 AM #50
Interesting Pen , I feel. its even worse when they leave and have to come back .They have had their taste of independence and find it  hard to revert back to sharing space .

RedRose

September 10, 2011, 05:19:52 AM #51
LL,

When they start creating problems where there are none it is time for them to go.
Your son has to take her side even if he doesn't want to, he wants to keep the peace with her...they are newlyweds.
But, he loves you and won't forget how much you have helped them the past few months.
No matter where they move, he will bring your grandchild to see you.

luise.volta

September 10, 2011, 08:45:28 AM #52
"...one day they will be left to their own devices " When will that be?

"...I won't always be here to sort it for them." When will that stop?
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Rose799

September 10, 2011, 09:06:05 PM #53
Quote from: Nana on September 09, 2011, 04:20:03 PM
Thanks Rose..how nice that you thought about me.  I come to the forum every single day...I just dont post so much..... all you wise ladies have awesome advices and sometimes and I dont think I can add anything else....or sometimes I am not inspired lol.     I am flaterred that you notice my absence. 

Love you Rose

You may be gone, but you could never be forgotten, Nana!!   Love you, too.  : )

lancaster lady

September 11, 2011, 12:52:10 AM #54
Luise.   .....I suppose thats up to me. .....but knowing me ...  it will be when I'm pushing up the daisies !     Lol.

Pen

September 11, 2011, 08:00:11 AM #55
LL, thinking of you. Please take care of yourself!
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

luise.volta

September 11, 2011, 08:28:08 AM #56
LL - You are not about to give up on yourself and see no change until you are" pushing up daisies." Many do take the "that's just how I am" stance but not you. That's why you're here...you know there is another way, just like we all do...and we are all learning and growing together. Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

lancaster lady

September 12, 2011, 02:30:19 PM #57
Hi guys ......
We have a moving date .......first week in November .....about 50 miles away ...hope they remember my address !

luise.volta

September 12, 2011, 02:34:21 PM #58
Light at the end of the tunnel.  Whew!
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

lancaster lady

September 12, 2011, 02:50:12 PM #59
Why do I feel so sad ?
I think the thought that they will revert back to their non visits and I will not get to see my Gd .
I am also thinking about a lonely Christmas too , as I know they will be at the other GP's .
I am trying my best to 'snap ' out of it , and my DH tells me he will insist they come to visit .
Now that he has got to know his GD he now sees how bad it was for me before .
I know the drill ....keep busy ...and fill your days with exciting stuff !
When you work six days , that's hard but I'll try my best , if my business didn't require
my input for Christmas I would fly away !
Focus .....I'll try ...I know I never stop complaining ..I'm a woman , it's my job ! lol
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