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Loss of Innocence

Started by Invisible, January 04, 2010, 06:33:39 am

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Invisible

I picked up my GD on New Year's eve. Kept her until Sunday evening at 5 pm. Her mother was expecting her home at 5 pm. When I drove up there was a strange vehicle parked near her house. My GD ran in side to her mother. Within minutes my GD ran back outside with a strange look on her face. She said to me, "My mommy is doing something nasty." The look on my GD face broke my heart.

My DIL expected her daughter to be home at 5 pm. I do not understand why she couldn't have controlled her behavior. She had Thursday....Thursday evening, Friday, Friday evening, Saturday, Saturday evening, all day Sunday before 5 pm. I am so disappointed. Now I wonder how many times this has happened before. My son died 27 months ago, my DIL has had many boyfriends. It is a shame she is unable to be discreet. My GD is growing up exposed to drugs, alcohol, promiscuous sexual behavior. Yes, I am so disappointed.

RedRose

Ohh.....I don't know what to say.....this must be so hard for you.
I know you will be there for your grandaughter. She will need all your love and support.
Maybe you can look into Grandparent's rights too?



cocobars

That's awful.  I wouldn't know what to say here!  How did you handle this? 

Invisible

Redrose,
I live in a state that does not recognize Grandparent rights.....I let my GD know I love her and want her to live with me. I hope when things fall apart at home she won't feel so alone or compelled to run away into the streets. I want to show her there is a better way to live.

Cocobars,
I just waited outside with my GD until my DIL came out in her bathrobe. My GD went inside and I left. Nothing more....

RedRose

Invisible...I know your GD will run to you because she feels your love

Invisible

Redrose,

What's the expression? Prepare for the worst but hope for the best. My GD is just a little girl who adores her mother. Unfortunately, her mother is a party girl who is not focused on her daughter. What the future holds is just a guess.

I try to imagine several scenarios. I can only hope for the best. 
Quote from: RedRose on January 05, 2010, 05:46:07 pm
Invisible...I know your GD will run to you because she feels your love

cocobars

I am just speechless, and without your son around that is what you have to put up with.  Sad...

cremebrulee

Invisable, I'm so sorry this is happening...it is tragic and you must feel so helpless...

I would log all these events...b/c down the road, you may wish you had....date them, put the time on them and also, write a short summery of what happened...

Hugs
Creme

Invisible

Creme,
Thanks to all the wonderful advise I receive here. I have started writing down the following: dates, activities we do, and observed evidence of abuse. It might be for nothing .....then again, one never knows.

Quote from: cremebrulee on January 06, 2010, 07:42:45 am
Invisable, I'm so sorry this is happening...it is tragic and you must feel so helpless...

I would log all these events...b/c down the road, you may wish you had....date them, put the time on them and also, write a short summery of what happened...

Hugs
Creme

Pen

It's not for nothing! Even if it doesn't change anything immediately, and I do hope and pray it does, you will feel empowered when you look at the list of things you've done for your GD. And later, if it's appropriate, you can show her the "good" list (she may not be able to handle the "bad" list) and maybe it'll help her see how much she is loved. You are being proactive and not just a passive observer, which will help you feel like you're doing something. Good for you!
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

cremebrulee

QuoteCreme,
Thanks to all the wonderful advise I receive here. I have started writing down the following: dates, activities we do, and observed evidence of abuse. It might be for nothing .....then again, one never knows.



Invisable, if you see evidence of abuse, take her to the hospital right away, they will take pictures and document,, and call social services....tell them of your fears....a police officer would tell you to do that, all this stuff must be documented....God, I hope there is no physical abuse....I really do...but if you see ANYTHING, take her to the hospital right away!

God bless you both

cocobars

I totally agree with creme!  I would burn up those social services lines.  They would have to come talk to me just to keep their phone lines working...

Invisible

Cremebrulee,

My DIL has been charged with child abuse...twice. I have spoke to the children services case worker assigned to her case and I spoke with my GD's school. Although, I am on the no contact list. I am not allowed on school property. But they have told me I the most positive influence on my GD. They are watching and waiting. I am not pushing but we know it will happen again. Yes, when she had the bruises on both arms I should have at least taken photos...but I didn't. I am not going to beat myself up for the mistake. I just won't do that again. I must remain vigilant. Thank you for your continued emotional support. These are difficult times for my GD and I.

Quote from: cremebrulee on January 08, 2010, 08:14:23 am
QuoteCreme,
Thanks to all the wonderful advise I receive here. I have started writing down the following: dates, activities we do, and observed evidence of abuse. It might be for nothing .....then again, one never knows.



Invisable, if you see evidence of abuse, take her to the hospital right away, they will take pictures and document,, and call social services....tell them of your fears....a police officer would tell you to do that, all this stuff must be documented....God, I hope there is no physical abuse....I really do...but if you see ANYTHING, take her to the hospital right away!

God bless you both

2chickiebaby

oH!! Invisible!!  This just breaks my heart!!  I want you to know that you in in my prayers and on my heart!!  I don't want you to have to go thru this alone.  You have such a load on you; what a wonderful person you are.  God bless you!!

Pen

This is so difficult. You are an amazing person to take it on - make sure you take care of yourself as well as GD during this time; stay healthy and strong. Best wishes.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb