November 22, 2019, 04:11:03 am

News:

"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


I'M STILL MAD

Started by 2chickiebaby, January 03, 2010, 09:04:48 am

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

cocobars


2chickiebaby

Dear Sweet Coco,
You really didn't miss anything.  It's about another site that we're not supposed to be talking about and bringing it over here and I did.  I'm a horrible student and I need to get a paddling.  (sorry, I mean "time out")

cremebrulee

Quote from: Sassy on January 06, 2010, 08:57:39 am
Creme Brulee, you are not a know-it-all, not-at-all.  ;D  You are wonderful, nurturing, and generous with your sharing your experiences.

I hesitated to respond to this because Luise has asked us more than once not to bring the content of hate-sites over here to her site.

But I wanted to let you know, Creme, just how warm and knowledgeable and kind your posts come across.


Sassy, thanks so much...for your support and kindness...

I do and can come off tough...I think reason being is b/c I was the only girl in a neighborhood of 17 boys...I worked with boys, played with them, grew up knowing all about hunting, fishing, camping, football, baseball, yes, I was a tomboy...but I learned to be very cut and dry...I'm not what you would call a girly girl...hate shopping and soap operas....so, maybe that will help some of you be able to be a little more tollerent of me, and know that I only want to help, not hurt...

as far as bring hate sites here...I believe in discussing it, as we are now, that is healthy, although I could be wrong...maybe this to is a no no? 

But, in the end...we're sharing stories, and helping each other through these things....and, in my case, going to those hate sites, helped me understand my DIL's behavior even more....to finally realize, nothing I could say or do would change things, that it was her goal and decission to keep things this way....

and I understood why....and I don't say that in a hateful way....

but I feel like we're all becoming sisters....LOL, members of a ya ya social club...LOL....

Seriously, thank you ladies...so very much.....




2chickiebaby

Okay.....thank you, Survivor.

cremebrulee

Quote from: Survivor on January 06, 2010, 09:12:48 am
Think of it this way. Those words that were written are invalid, don't even pretend they are valid for one reason by even giving it enough attention to even read the words. Let the words get lost in internet space with no reaction, because no reaction is what they deserve.

You are worth more then that, you deserve to be happy, you are a good person who does not deserve to hear or read any abusive words. Don't read on there because you love yourself enough not to.


No truer words were ever spoken, I so totally agree....

thank you survivor....


cocobars

Well, I'm not spanking you.  Everyone is allowed to make their own mistakes.  Isn't that why we're here? 

Slap, slap.  Now don't do that again (I hope you're ok..)

2chickiebaby

Of course we're okay, Cocobars....!! Always :)


2chickiebaby

We are like Soul Sisters here.  I love it!  Thank all of you...

cremebrulee

Quote from: Survivor on January 06, 2010, 09:07:57 am
Cremebrulee and Chickiebaby, I am sorry for what you read on there. Please don't take it as if it has any truth to it. Take it with a grain of salt and know that both of you have helped me so much already. You are both doing a world of good to others with all you have to say and all your support. I appreciate both of you very much.

I am still not going to go on and read, but I sure am tempted.


Thanks so much survivor, much appreciate...but honest, for me, it doesn't upset me...it gives me a new perspective on how cruel some people can be...
I live in this protective plastic bubble of a world, believing that all people mean me no harm and I can trust everyone...but, that is not true, and it's actually pretty naieve to think that way, not only setting myself up to get hurt...so, for me, it was more of a reality check then hurtful...

I've grown so much and really don't care what others think of me...especially cruel strangers with sharp tongues on the internet...I've had so many good friends in my lifetime...loyal and true....and have a wonderful family.  Yanno, a gal who came to our home for Christmas dinner wrote me a thank you note and said, I'm a very lucky woman to have so many nice friends and family...

and I am survivor....

I really thank God for my life experiences...both good and bad....

cremebrulee

Hey Anna, how are you doing today?


cremebrulee

maybe you should take up self defense or some kind of physical exercise to help get out that frustration...I know when I worked out, it helped so very much...Displace the frustration into something else...hey, at least your getting along with her...my cousin did what your doing...and it really paid off, they are very close now, so perhaps much better days are coming for you Anna....

Hugs Anna....

RedRose

Anna,

I, also, have chosen to go along with everything because I want just to keep peace. It's easier on my nerves.

RedRose

Like Creme said....at least now we are getting along and I hope it pays off in the future

2chickiebaby

Rose and Anna,
What else can we do?  I'm so controlled by one of them that I feel like I'm in prison.  You dare not ask her for anything...I mean even to tell her that the other son and DIL are here and can they come over?

They just don't show...it's all for control.  It is so tedious..and not at all necessary. I think she's a Vampire. ? :-\?

Orly

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I think the main problem we are all trying to work on is how to deal with someone who is unhealthy...someone who tries to find out an MILs perspective just so she can learn how to hurt her????  that actually sounds quite sick to me. 
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I'm sorry Isitme, I have to disagree.  I really don't think giving people who act in a mean and vindictive way, an "out" by saying they are unhealthy.  Yes, some people are ill.  Most are just plain mean.  You could say they have an unhealthy aspect to their personalities but, it isn't anything that can be corrected by therapy.  (Think sociopaths, they are just wired wrong and cannot be changed.  They don't have it in them to make those corrections, no matter how hard and long you work at it.)  Some are just not as far along the mean-o-meter as others.

They learned early in school that it was "fun" for them to act out their bullying tendencies and the methods of getting away with it.   Refining the methods as they grow, they get a sense of empowerment.  That is, until they run into someone with a backbone who will stand up to them!  Then, finding out their tricks and hatefulness won't work to "subdue" the "Hard place", they resort to name calling, trying to tear down the emotional well-being, or the happiness of that impediment.  They are active in cultivating this trait, refining it and perfecting it.  They have NO DESIRE to change.  Appealing to their sense of right is just a futile act, because that sense is telling them, all they do is right and perfect.

In my opinion, if you know what the heck you are dealing with then you can make the adjustments needed to keep YOU happy and sane.

Creme,
You know you are a strong woman.  That site you continue to visit is your sense of right working...you just can't believe there are those that mean spirited walking around and you keep checking to see if the lightbulb has gone off in their souls.  It isn't happening anytime soon, so please, stop going back to flip that switch, the bulb is going to remain dim for some time.  They see you as a threat to their fun and games, so of course you are a big target.  "SNAP" to their nasty comments.  They aren't constructive  or even very original, ignore them and let them wander in the dark as long as needed for their self-improvement.

To all the ladies,
Sometimes I come off very blunt, please don't take it as a personal attack or anything of that sort.  I do suffer from foot-in-the-mouth on occasion, BUT I am just as quick to get my lash of remorse out to apply to myself too.