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I'M STILL MAD

Started by 2chickiebaby, January 03, 2010, 09:04:48 am

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2chickiebaby

I'm still mad that we allow people to come in here, treat them with respect, be it MIL or DIL and they turn around and use our words against us!! I don't know when I will ever trust a DIL again.  Their psychology (the flick ant portion they have) is just enough to be dangerous. 

Some of them come in here to just view the member list.  God knows what they are doing with it.  They are mean and are so unhappy with themselves and their little lives that they take us and try to do further damage to an already damaged heart. 

"If DH wants to see his Mom and Dad, I will let him".....thanks a whole lot!  Let's give the little lady a scarf for her head...she's so martyrish.  You will let him... how big of you.

I'll let you know when I'm not mad anymore.  That's part of what's wrong with me.  I don't allow myself the luxury of getting really mad.  I'm really mad now.

cocobars

Hi chickiebaby!

I could be wrong, but they may be checking the member's list to see if their MIL's are members.  Don't be mad.  At least they know we are all here trying and supporting eachother, instead of feeling discarded...

2chickiebaby


Peace

Try not to be victimized to their manipulation and control.  For some reason, this is giving them pleasure! Don't allow it!  Continue to stay in integrity, even if don't want to!!!

greeneyes100

THERE IS A QUOTE   DONT BE SAD   GET  MAD

cocobars

Even mad can be considered "growth."

At first there's hurt, the second natural process is getting "mad" (from my understanding).  Mad is something we work through to reach understanding and a solution.  Does that make sense?

Peace

Makes great sense!  Just another emotion we have to experience to get to the other side.

cocobars

Thank you Peace!  I don't remember the other emotion, do you?  My DH was a psychologist but that was years ago, and I'm obviously not a psychologist!  LOL!

Peace

I think it is the same emotions as grieving from a death. When my dad died two years ago I had a hospice counselor work with me for a full year.  I am now caretaking my mom and the only caretaker.  She lived in the era where the man completely ran the household and she was completely sheltered.  She was married to my dad for sixty years.  She still lives on her own but I handle all of her affairs.  Her short term memory is getting really bad and this subject is just another major part of my life.  Anyway, the emotions are (I think):

Denial (this isn't happening to me!)
Anger (why is this happening to me?)
Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)
Depression (I don't care anymore)
Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)

Does this sound right?

cocobars

It does, absolutely.  The process is the same for hurt.  It's something we work through every day, but don't even realize we are doing it until something really awful happens (like your dad).  I'm sorry to hear about that, by the way.  I take care of my elderly parent's too!  I figure I owe it to them to see them out.  they saw me in and helped me through some tough times.  Right now, it's their turn.  Later it will be MINE!

It's not easy though!  I hear you!

Peace

Thanks Coco,

I wouldn't have it any other way as well.  My parents took real good care of my brother and I.  My brother passed away in 1991 from pancreatic cancer.  He was only 41 years of age.  But it isn't easy.  She depends on me for every decision.  Lots of patience!  I have "my days"!  You know, I feel sorry for myself because I have a full plate and just wanna run away.  And then I snap out of it and realize that so many people have it so much worse than I.  I love my mom very much and want her to be joyful as possible!  My dad's death has been very difficult for her.

cocobars


greeneyes100

Hi Peace,  what I do is have a pity party even if it is just with myself. I allow a period time not too long for my party then it is over and on I move

Peace

So true, greeneyes!  The "pity party" is good for the soul and I usually have the party by myself or vent to a friend......and then it's over until the next time......thanks!!!

mom2


Even mad can be considered "growth."
/i]

Even a kick in the butt is a push forward !!!!!