Thanksgiving

[Begonia]

I'd like to just skip the whole thing.

I'm with you on this one!!

[Pooh]

Awww....Come on Ladies!  We can't let ILs, Kids, Parents, extended family, ANYBODY define our holidays for us!  We can host, we can not host, we can go on a shopping trip, we can go on cruise, we can have Thanksgiving at McDonalds and we can spend Christmas serving soup to homeless people!  We can make our holidays anything we want them to be!  We can do the family stuff and just know that there might be issues and so?  Their issues can belong to them and we can decide that no matter what, we are going to enjoy our holidays!  We are going to laugh at their antics and every time anything that resembles sarcasm or criticism is uttered, we can M.C. Hammer right in front of them!  Let them figure that one out!  If we keep letting the people around us define if we have a good time, if we dread days or even that we don't want to do holidays any longer....they win and we have gave them that power!

I am going to probably be spending Thanksgiving with just my Mom and Dad during lunch, and then going to DH's Mother's for dinner to visit for awhile.  We will not have any of the 3 kids there because 2 choose not to and 1 is in the military.  But I get to spend lunch with my parents, who I know that I will not have around forever.  And then we get to go to his crazy family and spend time with his Mother and laugh at all the antics of his crazy siblings and cousins.  It's like a Circus where we get free admission!  Maybe this year, I'll bring my own popcorn.

Scoop, I know it is stressful trying to play hostess and arrange everything and I admire that you are giving it yet another shot.  You are awesome!  So what if they bring...don't bring...bring the wrong stuff...whatever.  They can have a turkey sandwich.  Tell them your plan and then it's up to them if they follow through.  If they don't, then they eat a sandwich.  Bah....our attitudes can really help if we just realize that they are who they are and phooey on their behavior....I'M GOING TO HAVE A GOOD TIME...NO MATTER WHAT!  It's on me...not them to decide if I let them ruin my holiday.

[Chrisky]

Scoop, that's very generous of you to ask everyone over for Thanksgiving.  Hopefully they'll offer to bring a meal or at least some of the food.  What do the ILs do at their gatherings?  Does everyone bring something?  If they ask, perhaps you can have partial menus planned, let them know what they are and ask them to bring specific dishes for those menus.  Good luck with your plans.  DH has to get a move on though and ask his Mother.

[Rejected]

Oh no is it this time of year again? I'd like to just skip the whole thing.

I dread Thanksgiving, Christmas, & New Years too. This is precisely why my favorite holiday is Halloween! Each family stays home to dish out candy (except when they bring their kids to my house to get candy, but it's a short visit with no drama) I love seeing the little costumes (so cute), I love the eerie decorations (my house is always decked out), I love all the left over candy. I fix a Halloweenish dinner for my DH and I and then we cuddle on the couch and watch a scary movie! Halloween has been my favorite holiday since I was a kid and oddly enough my IL's think it's the devil's holiday so they just hand out candy and that it all the celebrating they do.

[pam1]

Oh no is it this time of year again? I'd like to just skip the whole thing.

I dread Thanksgiving, Christmas, & New Years too. This is precisely why my favorite holiday is Halloween! Each family stays home to dish out candy (except when they bring their kids to my house to get candy, but it's a short visit with no drama) I love seeing the little costumes (so cute), I love the eerie decorations (my house is always decked out), I love all the left over candy. I fix a Halloweenish dinner for my DH and I and then we cuddle on the couch and watch a scary movie! Halloween has been my favorite holiday since I was a kid and oddly enough my IL's think it's the devil's holiday so they just hand out candy and that it all the celebrating they do.

Halloween is my favorite too.  Our town growing up always had a massive parade where they chucked handfuls of candy at you lol.  What's not to love, costumes, candy, pranks...

Now I'm behind on my costume plans for this year, gotta get cracking!

[Scoop]

This is why I love asking questions here.

I wasn't actually going to ask them to bring anything, I was just going to suggest something if they offered.  We've found that if you don't suggest an actual thing, people all bring snacks and drinks and we end up with too much.  Especially at the end of the season, when we're trying to clear out the cupboards!

But maybe a whole meal is too much to ask.  So I'll tell SIL to bring snacks (IF she offers) and I'll ask MIL to bring a pie (IF she offers).

Okay, we'll I guess I'd better get planning my other meals.

[Pen]

Awww....Come on Ladies!  We can't let ILs, Kids, Parents, extended family, ANYBODY define our holidays for us!  We can host, we can not host, we can go on a shopping trip, we can go on cruise, we can have Thanksgiving at McDonalds and we can spend Christmas serving soup to homeless people!  We can make our holidays anything we want them to be! 

Oh Pooh, I love your spirit. I will try to figure out something that accomodates DH, DDD & I...it's not easy, but I will try. It's hard to cut out DS & DIL because DDD doesn't get to see them very often and she doesn't think it's a holiday if her brother isn't there

[Keys Girl]

Just a little cautionary note.

Those Google Earth maps that calculate time and distance are always on the low side.

They won't calculate holiday weekend traffic and driving on rural roads that your MIL and her husband don't know.

I would allow 7 hours for their travel time instead of 5.5.

Good luck, board games may help to pass the time if the weather isn't on your side.

[Scoop]

A sort-of update:

SIL & her gang are coming to the cottage for the Thanksgiving Weekend, yahoo!  DH has been trying and trying to get a hold of his parents.  Yesterday, he finally left a message saying more than just "call me back" and actually invited them.  I haven't heard if there was an answer yet. 

I'm okay with them thinking about it a bit.  When I invited SIL, I didn't expect an answer right away, just for to think about it and talk to BIL about it.

Is anyone willing to place a bet?  Who thinks my IL's will ACTUALLY come to the cottage for Thanksgiving?

I have to say that I don't think they will.  Whoever said that it would be because they wouldn't have anything to eat was probably right.  I even connected the reason my MIL ordered a 2nd cake at Easter, and then didn't eat any of my bunny cake, with the fact that she thinks I'm dirty and won't eat my cooking.

But you know what?  We'll have an awesome weekend anyways.  And they'll miss out, again.

[Pen]

Oh Scoop, I just hope you end up having a great time and that it all works out best for you. My SM is very weird about my cooking too; she always takes to her bed as soon as she gets here so she doesn't have to eat. She doesn't mind drinking my booze though (she sneaks it at night.)

[Scoop]

See? Again, I spoke too soon.  DH said that his parents called him back and said they would come.  I'm shocked!  But they're not there yet.

Booze!  What a good idea.  If we keep it flowing, everything will go smoothly!  I'll have to start stocking up.

I'm already planning a scavenger hunt.  I'll make up a personalized  "Don't Eat Pete" game.  I'll get some prizes lined up.  We will definitely have fun. 

[Pooh]

Dang! I should have taken that bet!   

[pam1]

See? Again, I spoke too soon.  DH said that his parents called him back and said they would come.  I'm shocked!  But they're not there yet.

Booze!  What a good idea.  If we keep it flowing, everything will go smoothly!  I'll have to start stocking up.

I'm already planning a scavenger hunt.  I'll make up a personalized  "Don't Eat Pete" game.  I'll get some prizes lined up.  We will definitely have fun.

Lol, Scoop!  Sometimes booze doesn't work that way, at least not in my case.  Now a sugar high? 

I admire your positive attitude, that's half the battle   Good luck

[meanlady]

Every other year I leave town on Thanksgiving, when it's my year to be here I prepare brunch instead of turkey.  This leaves time for my adult children to go other places.    I hate all this competition about where they need to be!!!!!!!!  Never once do I get first billing so I try to control my expectations.

[Scoop]

Well folks - this is it!  It's Thanksgiving weekend in Canada this weekend, and I'm ALMOST ready!

MIL & SIL did end up asking if they could bring something and we did assign them each a meal.  It was actually a relief, because then I could surrender control over those 2 meals.

DH has spoken more with his Mom in the past 2 weeks than he has in the past YEAR!  Unfortunately, she still only calls him at work.  It's unfortunate because when DH is at work, he's AT WORK.  He's VERY curt on the phone when *I* call him, I can't imagine how he is with his DM.

DH had us howling with laughter the other day, telling us how MIL called him again and again.  "Are there eating utensils at the cottage?"  (i.e. knives, forks & spoons) For the record: my Mom LIVES there all summer.  DH just said "Mom, there ARE utensils.  But if you want to bring some plastic ones, you're going to do whatever you want anyway."  Then she called him back, right away: "Is chili okay?"  So he said that SHE was responsible for that meal and if she wanted to bring chili that was okay.  Then she called him back the next day, saying that the DN's (her local GK's) didn't like chili, so was spaghetti okay?  He just said "whatever you want".  Then she called him RIGHT BACK asking if my Mom had a big pot for spaghetti.  So he said "There are pots.  If you want to bring yours, you're going to do whatever you want anyway."

Hey, get this, *I* even e-mailed her directly!  DH had been trying to get a hold of her, and he finally left her a message telling her she was responsible for Sunday supper.  It occurred to me the next day that she might have thought that we were requesting for her to do the turkey dinner.  So I e-mailed her and told her "Oh no! We didn't mean that!"  She e-mailed me back asking if chili was okay.  And it was nice to be able to e-mail her back and say "It's your dinner, you get to decide.  As for me, I'm just glad I don't have to decide on another dinner, the choosing what to eat is always the hardest for me."

So yeah, we're pretty excited about tomorrow.  I just have to get through the next 24 hours and everything will fall into place.

Hey, does anyone have any good ideas for an outdoor treasure hunt?