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My Children Hate Me

Started by cocobars, January 02, 2010, 07:58:43 am

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Peace

Hey, I devoted my whole life to MY children and when I left because my ex was abusive, they blamed me for breaking up the family.  One of my sons wishes I was dead and calls me by my first name the three times I have talked to him in five years.  He has a son (my grandson) that I have never seen and my oldest son has a daughter I have never seen.  He remarried a couple of years ago and my name was not even in his wedding announcement.  I wasn't invited to his wedding and neither were his grandparents who did absolutely nothing to my sons but love them.  Since then, my dad passed away two years ago due to a stroke.  They went to his funeral and stayed about ten minutes and sat in the back of the church.  One of my sons has JUST now decided to visit my mom during Thanksgiving and Christmas (as long as I wasn't there).  I can be thankful for that.  I told them a long time ago that I would stay away but to please visit their grandparents.  So much pain because of adult issues and control for all of us. :-[

greeneyes100

out of 9 grandchildren and another being born tomorrow, I dont see or hear from any. Life is not easy, I will not allow my self to be bitter or resentful, I still want to love and be loved.  We can chose our friends but not our family...

cremebrulee

Quote from: greeneyes100 on January 03, 2010, 03:41:26 pm
out of 9 grandchildren and another being born tomorrow, I dont see or hear from any. Life is not easy, I will not allow my self to be bitter or resentful, I still want to love and be loved.  We can chose our friends but not our family...


yes, your right, we cannot choose our families...and we can observe and learn from them on how not to be...a very good lesson....yanno, we raise our kids the best way we know how...mentally....we grow with them...we're young when we have them...but when they grow and leave home, there is nothing more we can do...

I had a boss come to me years ago...they raised 4 boys and adopted a baby girl, his wife was a very good friend.  He came to me once, and asked, how can one family raise 5 kids and all but one, turns out wrong...what did we do wrong, we raised them all the same?  But it happens, to the best of people...bad things happen to good people...

hugs to both of you, Creme

cocobars

Thank you Creme!  I've read some of your posts here, and I believe you have alot of wisdom and love to learn from!

Oh Green Eyes, I feel the sadness you are going through.  I only have two grandsons, but haven't seen one of them since he was a year old (he's four now).  I have twin daughter's that go visit and they come back with pic's and stories for me.  It hurts, but it is what it is and I accept it for that.  I believe my oldest daughter is making a mistake by accepting money in lieu of love.  I can only hope that someday she realizes the mistake and comes back to see me.  On that day, my arms will be wide open! 

Bless you tomorrow.  I know your thoughts will still be there, and I'll think of you also and say a little prayer. 

greeneyes100

my arms will not be opened, unless i am aplogised to and given the respect I deserve and that will take time for me to see if the love is for real

Peace

Greeneyes, coco and creme,

Thank you for sharing your stories!  You are going through so much as well and I appreciate your input very much!  Sounds as if we are doing are damnest to value ourselves as we should......because we are worthy and we are valuable!!!!!!

greeneyes100

Peace if you know in your heart you are a good person, a kind and loving person say hi to yourself and love yourself. it is so healing

Peace

Greeneyes,  Took me awhile to get there, but I think I am pretty much there now.  Just had to find out for myself and stop punishing myself by working so hard to have a relationship with someone who did not want the same (my sons).  And I am finally through the final phase -acceptance.....don't like it.....but I accept it now.  Thanks!!!!!!