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Quick etiquite question

Started by meanlady, August 25, 2011, 06:33:12 PM

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tryingmybest

That rule seems to have gone out the window, at least in my area. :o

Doe

I found out there's a new etiquette rule: 

If people don't come to the shower or send gifts soon enough, you send out a mass email saying sorry you missed it but here's how you can still give me gifts (with link to the registry).  You do this starting in the 6th month - don't wait for the baby to be born.

This one has been tested - I wrote that this was bad manners and was assured it was perfectly OK.


luise.volta

I think it's time to pass on ettiquette and just use horse sense. (Nay...)
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

pam1

Quote from: Doe on August 28, 2011, 08:26:43 AM
I found out there's a new etiquette rule: 

If people don't come to the shower or send gifts soon enough, you send out a mass email saying sorry you missed it but here's how you can still give me gifts (with link to the registry).  You do this starting in the 6th month - don't wait for the baby to be born.

This one has been tested - I wrote that this was bad manners and was assured it was perfectly OK.

Wow, I'm almost speechless!

People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

Pen

Wow, so people are just pulling new etiquette rules out of their whatnots? Unbelievable! I'm absolutely astounded.

I notice a lot of these new rules only apply to young people having showers or marking milestones; when do we older folks get to cash in???
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

luise.volta

We just say..."Hey, look at the new rule I just made up!"  ;D ;D ;D
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Pen

I keep waiting to be an official Senior Citizen, but they keep moving the age back. I get close and they change it.  ???
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

luise.volta

There are a lot of them here. 55 in a restaurant. 62 for Social Security. 65 to be official. And for me, it's now been moved up to 75!  ;D ;D ;D
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Pooh

I've never worried about proper etiquette to the point that I do something that doesn't feel right or wrong.  I do what I feel is appropriate.  As in the showers, we have always given family members showers because we want to.  Maybe it's not the right etiquette, but it feels right to do it.

I also work the other way.  I'm not going to do something that I don't want to do just because it's considered proper etiquette in a book.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

pam1

I think etiquette is a useful tool, especially in tension filled situations.  Like anything, it can be used as a weapon though.  It does seem to naturally solve a lot of issues without a whole lot of fuss and drama if the user intends to use it that way.
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

Pooh

I guess I see etiquette as someones opinion.  There are so many opinions on what is proper etiquette.  One renowned person says a face-to-face thank you is proper etiquette and the next will say you must send a handwritten card.  Which one is right?  I try to base it on the person and what feels right.  I feel I am polite and respectful, but not necessarily Mrs. Etiquette.

I just upset one of my co-workers over "etiquette".  She is having child number 2, one year and a half after the first one.  I attended her shower and bought her a gift last time and I am not attending this one.  One of the girls here at work is giving her this one and wanted RSVPs.  I send back "no" and caused some hurt feelings, but I personally don't believe in multiple baby showers unless it's been years since they had a child.  I only ever do the first one.   
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

pam1

That's true, but I also think there is cultural etiquette which is useful. 

And I agree on multiple showers, heck I don't even do one for the most part.  I thought that purpose of a shower was to celebrate a woman becoming a mother, so it wouldn't make sense to have a shower for a second child.  But again, showers aren't really a part of my culture, I don't think much if other people do them though.  I do think it's absolutely rude to demand peoples presence for anything, especially an event that requires a gift.
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

luise.volta

Choice is nice...whatever happened to that? Did jumping through hoops replace it?
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

herbalescapes

There may be many opinions about what is proper etiqette, but there is only one true authority on that matter: Me.  So, if everyone would just bow to my naturally superior wisdom, the world would be such a better place. 

Seriously, people can make up what they want, but it doesn't mean you have to follow their rules regarding showers, weddings, etc.  Do unto others as you would have done unto you is pretty good advice for everyone regardless of personal religion.  Also, assume no insult intended would go a long way to soothing things. 

pam1

People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift