March 28, 2024, 01:43:29 PM

News:

"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


What my hopes and Dreams were

Started by 2chickiebaby, January 01, 2010, 12:21:01 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

2chickiebaby

My hopes and dreams for a family were that our door would always be open and that the kids, grown now with families of their own, would come in and out, no calls necessary...just drop in and have fun here.

I think with those things in my heart, it makes me so sad that that never happened.  Too much togetherness for the DILs.  I'm so sad today.

DIL and son went to a big soiree last night at a home of some people who are grandparent's themselves.  They live in a McMansion so they are to be honored and cultivated.  It hurts me so much. 

Money is all that is cared for and wanted in this society.  To heck with love. 

greeneyes100

Hi Chicky I know what you mean, now that my D has her home she doesnt want me any more. She has a baby girl on Tuesday but as I have said I will not be treated with contempt by her and SIL so I have stopped contacting them and I will continue to get on with my life.

2chickiebaby

That truly breaks my heart, Green.....I didn't know D's could do that too. 

greeneyes100

my daughter is a very nasty woman, I believe in the wheels of time, what goes round comes round.

2chickiebaby

I'm so sorry, Anna!!  We have got to find a way to get through these heartbreaking times!  They might as well have shot us dead. 

2chickiebaby

I know it does....you'd think that the first shot would at least kill us but it doesn't. We get to be shot over and over again!!

I should be grateful for what I do have!!  Yes, my DILs might be "N's" but at least I'm somewhat a part of their lives.  That's a start.

greeneyes100

my D gives birth on Tuesday to her 2nd baby and she is doing the same as before her 1st. Lets me buy every thing for the nursery and her going to hospital only to cut me off again and be with her MIL. Only this time I decided before Cristmas day that I have had enough. Sometimes enough is enough. I will fill this year with things I want to do with people I choose who appreciate me. Like I have said I am taking latin dance classes, helping the disadvantaged, walking to lose the 6kg and buying things for me which I was not doing. My D has to learn that life is not easy and you treat people the way you want to be treated.

Victim

I am very sorry for what you are going through, it does sound like they are choosing money over love. All you want to do is love them and they keep rejecting you, so unfair.

Your poor grandkids probably miss you so much too, they could have such a beautiful grandmother in you but your jealous DIL just will not allow it, she must be very jealous of you. Sometimes you get punished for being positive because the insecure DILs just are too jealous.

Karma is a beautiful thing hun and one day she will get hers and you will be made whole. I pray for you!


2chickiebaby

It's easy for me to say this, Green but please don't fall for this again!!!  I know your heart and you think that she will be different each time but I fear she won't.  I think your new attitude about not having this again is wonderful!  Your D will soon learn that the well is now dry and probably try to make you feel guilty for not doing for her any more. 

Don't fall for it!  I just know you're on the road to recovery.  What is that saying?  "I'd rather have respect than love".   I think it's true but we Mothers want love and don't care how we get it.  Without respect, though, there is no love.  It's a fact.  Your new way will bring respect for you to her probably for the first time.