March 28, 2024, 03:39:18 PM

News:

"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


A Motherless DIL

Started by Doe, August 22, 2011, 11:45:10 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Doe

Also, I guess it obvious that I don't have a clue how to copy/paste messages here.  I'm just doing the regular edit copy/edit paste that I know.  How does it work with this forum?

Pen

Doe, hi!

You can hit the Quote button and the message you want to reply to will be at the top of your "Post reply" writing area. If you only want to quote a portion of that message, highlight the bits you don't want & delete them while keeping the brackets and code intact at the beginning and end. Then move your cursor outside the brackets and type your comments. Hit "Preview" to see if it looks correct before posting. Hope this helps.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

pam1

Quote from: Doe on August 23, 2011, 09:34:38 AM
Pam writes:

So, we both come from different backgrounds and I'm sure to his FOO that I come across as cold.  Heck, they told me I do!

I can't fathom this!  Just from the few messages I've read from you here, I can't imagine a cold Pam.

LOL, I was shocked when they told me this too!  But they did have a point, I am uncomfortable around them when the fighting is going on or even more so, when they draw me into a fight.  My natural response is to withdraw so it does come across that I'm a cold person to them.  I also can see how it comes across that I don't care b/c in some ways, I don't.  It's hard to explain b/c I do care about their feelings but I don't care to listen to what I consider unnecessary drama.  For me, it is necessary.  So, we are at a stalemate.

To me, it's like wow, it's a beautiful Sunday afternoon.....what I'm doing here?  Listening to all this drama?  I wanna go outside and play!



People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

herbalescapes

A close friend of mine had her mom die in her teen years.  Friend admits she looked toward her MIL to fill in that Mother-Daughter relationship, but MIL had several daughters so that never really happened.  I've wondered if part of friend's inlaw difficulties have stemmed from her having an unrealistic expectation.  As a good friend, I don't mention this to her.  I am the supportive "I can't believe those people!" when we talk.  But...