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Why do our sons "obey" princess wives?!

Started by justanoldgrandma, August 18, 2011, 09:17:00 pm

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Smilesback@u

Yup, works every time -- a sense of humor, a bit of a nudge, and a good dose of "how could you" helps some realize what they should be doing. 
My Dad has chose to do that to me -  :-[  sometimes.    I learned. 

nicelady

Hi,
'doe' loved that you did that.lol

'pooh'
you are correct, it's getting the 'do it' part,like you said 'baby steps'.
I'm at the momment giving myself a 'talking to',some days I cope better than others, this week has not been to good, but I will 'get there'.
peace love hope


justanoldgrandma

Quote from: luise.volta on August 31, 2011, 08:03:32 pm
We just have to stop trying to understand it and stop getting stuck in expectations. My husband didn't even get a card from his son on Father's Day and they live an hour from here. And on his 100th birthday next month, they are going to be away on a trip.


Luise, I need this printed on my forehead about the "stop trying to understand it and getting stuck in expectations."  And then look in the mirror and read it every 30 minutes (if printed backwards!) 

We (or I) spend so many years devoted to our children and then grandchildren that we forget our dhs and other parts of our lives, like hobbies, friends, spirituality.  My parents were into their own lives more while we were young (not neglectful, just not so hovering) and were into their own lives so much more than dh and I are.  They worried about the big things w us but didn't expect sleepovers w gc, visits on bdays, just holiday dinners when we could congregate, letting the ILs have The Day most of the time w/o resentment.  My father was my mother's one and only and I know I need to concentrate more on dh while we still have each other!

My parents and dh's parents just didn't fret as I do and were happier for it.  No real jealousy over ILs and equal time.... venting was done but not to the ILs; and then it was over. 

Maybe we (I) are too vested in our adults children/gc and forget how busy and preoccupied we were when raising kids/working?  There were days that went by when I forgot my parents!  and yet I expect my kids to keep in at least weekly contact w us when they are swamped and exhausted.  So the dils call their moms; I wrote to my mom once a week; it's the way it is.  I'm just glad my dils are in contact w us some!

Dear old mom and dad did some things right and I need to remember those things!