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Holiday Fervor

Started by Smilesback@u, September 01, 2011, 04:24:32 pm

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Smilesback@u

Since I expect to spend Thanksgiving at my DS/DILs - and that brings some angst as DIL does not *entertain* *cook* *hostess* you name it,
when we visit, I have angst about being expected to prepare Thanksgiving dinner.  I drew the line in the sand and told DS to make it easy on
themselves and buy Safeway T-day dinner - which he objected and confronted me as not wanting to help with dinner.  HAHAHA!  I certainly
touched on a sore spot between us that time.  So I offered to help with salad/dessert.  Nevertheless, I have second thoughts.   And the solution
I have come up with is how to get me to focus on myself and not so much on DS/DIL and whether they approve of me.  I APPROVE OF ME! 
This is how I Will Get My Groove Back:  Since I am nearly 60 years on this earth, I think I have something to say worth hearing.  So, what
I have decided to make are WOW scrapbooks of my life...I realize I am 10 years re-married (15 years divorced), 37 years a mother (and counting),
9 years a MIL, 4 years a GP, (10 yrs stepparent) + a lifetime of being ME.  Each scrapbook I will give a theme - marriage, parenting, learning,
grandparenting and I will personalize each of them.  These are all about ME, I will be celebrating my life's journey.  No one has lived in my shoes
to know everything about me.  And there is no way to dispute my perspective...it is mine, take it or leave it.  I hope each one of us finds that
joy and strength in sharing our lives - the tears, blood, sweat and memories of it all.  No one can take that away from me - this is my life.  If my
presence is not requested or wished for in any specific moment, I certainly will find better places to spend my time.  I WILL THRIVE - and enjoy
my life as much as I can.  (And if that means I change my mind and cook Thanksgiving dinner for my DS/DIL - then so be it.  But it will be
because it brings me joy to do so - not because I am needing to make points with them.)  And I guess having said that, I will publish little photo
books for each family member of priceless moments I cherish -- and that will be my Gift to family this year.  It will cost me much in time, and
I will enjoy every moment (hopefully).  Anyways, I just needed to say that I really do have angst about holidays - feelings of rejection are not
strong enough to break me though.  And I will refocus on what makes me happy and get on with it.  Cheers!

nicelady

smilesback@u
wow that was great to read, well done for you, and I to one day hope to be where you are now,& reiterate those words ,you sound 'liberated'.
Good idea to about the books.

Smilesback@u

Thanks, I would like to feel this way everyday of my life.  I guess I am going to have to work on it -- I wrote this in one of my rare moments of being in my groove. 

nicelady

yep I think we all would love to feel it everyday, but I guess we arn't at that spot.I'm hoping I get my 'mojo' back, I know I will eventually.
I just read the 'diet' thread, and thats a step in right direction, of taking control of one aspect for me, hard work ahead, to much 'comfort eating'.
As 'pooh' said to me 'baby steps'.
peace

Pen

Empowering post, Smiles! Good one!
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Nana

Smiles...you were really inspired with your post.    Quite intense....
Loved it...awesome and your strength was reflected in every word you wrote.    Cheers
Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove:
Shakespeare

Pooh

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Smilesback@u

Thank you all, and your remarks gave me nice warm tears.  I really hate the holidays even so I will make something good with my scrapbooks. 
Love you all :)

herbalescapes


Smilesback@u

Thank you... means a lot to me to affirm I am facing in the right direction here.  :)

luise.volta

I see your groove getting deeper!  8)
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama